Small Victory

My mental health is much better when I'm not using porn and masturbation. I appreciate my wife more. I am more present in each moment and able to appreciate it more. I'm less irritable because I'm no longer (consciously and subconsciously) waiting for my next opportunity to act out. I feel less shame about myself, being unable to beat this and letting down my family.

I feel more positive about myself because I'm more in control of my day-to-day life and able to focus my attention on areas that help me. I'm able to spend more time with friends and family, instead of acting out. I'm less stressed about spending time with friends/family. When I'm acting out regularly, it takes up so much time that it makes everything else, even family/friends, feel like a race to be done/chore to be finished with/source of stress.

My PMO habit makes everything, even my wife, seem boring in comparison. Nothing offers that level of pleasure. That makes it really hard to be happy or even satisfied in other areas of my life.

Personal and spiritual growth have always been important to me, but I have very little time or desire for that when I'm acting out with PMO. It's hard to do on thing in one moment that does not connect with my values and then try to focusing on living my values the next moment. I do it, but it's always felt dishonest, halfhearted.

My physical health improved because I no longer have the physical tension that PMO takes on my joints. When you stop PMO, you have all this free time and one of the areas to focus on is exercise. Too often, it's either PMO or exercise for me. A long PMO session eliminates time to work out. I've often skipped going to a schedule gym workout because I was using PMO and wanted to finish.

I often dopamine stack: which means I couple PMO with other pleasurable activities for an added boost. Usually, it's unhealthy eating after a long PMO session or videogames. When I'm not using PMO, I'm able to focus on making healthier choices for my diet.

When I had 11 months in 2017, I was in the best shape of my life, more focused and successful executing at work. I'm trying harder now to get back to that place. When you get momentum, never let it go. Climbing this mountain only gets harder each time we fall.

Hope this is helpful for you. There's so much potential out there for us when we redirect ourselves away from PMO.

 

And...8 days isn't small. Be proud of 8 days. There's so much more beyond that, but 8 days is 8 days that you chose what is better for you and that's a really big achievement on this journey.

 

Ask yourself:

• Are non PMO addicts physically healthier than PMO addicts in general?
• Are chronic PMOers really physically weaker or just mentally weaker?
• Does quitting PMO also solve the reasons one uses PMO?
• What are the roots of mental illness?
• How does PMO lead to emotional issues?
• Where does assertiveness, abilities, attitude and general outlook on life personally and professionally, normally come from?

This is not to irritate or mess with you. This is to help you see from a different perspective , think more holistically and arrive at the correct answers yourself.

Clue: addiction is a behavior. Quitting addiction brings us closer to normal, not at normal, and certainly not supranormal. Also abstinence does not mean solving the roots that lead to addiction. It only stopped a behavior. The problem roots usually require some additional form of therapy.

 

I really liked your testimony and my experience and sentiment are almost exactly the same. In addition, I have experienced these benefits.

1) I had tended to get very depressed when I fell, it wasn't just the guilt, but hormonally, I could feel it. My outlook on life would dim, everything would seem bleak. When I am abstaining, I am hopeful.
2) I've also struggled with insomnia, and have written about it a lot here. Now that I'm over 3 weeks, I do feel more balanced. My mind knows it's not getting the dopamine hit by staying up all night, so it just doesn't bother.
3) Clarity of mind is huge. Porn and even just MO creates a brain fog, where I struggle just to think straight.
4) I am more motivated and less afraid of trying new things, applying for a new job, starting a new training, exploring a new activity. Yes, that is confidence. Bring it on.
5) Losing weight, eating right, and staying fit is easier due to #4. As a result, I'm sure the testosterone thing is true. Also, I noticed that when I did PMO or just M, it would totally deflate my workouts the next day. It would either be half hearted or I would get out there and then quit and go back.

The odd thing is for me, just stopping porn wasn't enough. I was getting the same jacked up hormones, mental fog, lack of motivation, and depression with MO and sometimes binge 3 times a day. I wasn't able to stop MO until really denying all my fantasies, fetishes, and sexual idols. Truly letting those go from my mind is key to me. I don't think I could stop MO without that. I also think that the changes people want from nofap are not automatic. Nofap gives you the time and hopefully motivation to make changes, but you still have to make changers yourself. You can't expect women to notice you if you are not out there in social settings getting noticed. You can't expect an increase in physical strength and health, if you are not exercising, you cannot expect a change in body composition, if you are not dieting. All these changes build confidence.

 

I too agree that getting to the root cause of your fetishes and fantasies is helpful to actually getting inner healing and resisting really compulsive behaviors. I've written about my own extensively in my journal (link below). I'm also active in a 12 step group and have worked through the steps many times. I agree that many young men here have a unrealistic (superpower) view of nofap. The truth is it is not a magic pill. You still have to work really hard to make changes.

However, I wouldn't discount the power of just doing the right thing. Fake it till you make it actually works. Do the right thing, and right desires, attitude, and thinking usually follows.
Yes, PMO really makes you physically weaker and mentally weaker. The practice does rob you of your time, motivation, and produces hormones that keep you sedated and in a fog.
Just stopping PMO does not automatically make you physically healthier, but it gives you time, and builds motivation, and self control, so you can practice self control in your diet, workouts, etc.
Does quitting automatically heal my wounds that led there, no, but going to a therapist, or self help group doesn't either. You have to work at it just like with the diet, you have to work the steps, forgiveness, moving on, making amends, etc. Nofap does give me the time, focus, and motivation work it.

 

You are right about the images in your head and it is an essential step that you have to master in order to be successful on this path. Every thought ultimately leads to an action.

I also feel like the sexual fantasies in the head are a conditioning from porn. By watching these films frequently, it burns itself into your subconscious.

 

Hello.

Let me share you a bit of my personal and honest experience.

I bit of context: I'm addict since 14-15 yo... full PMO until 25 yo, that's 10-11 YOs of full PMO... I'm currently 27 yo.

I have been in this battle against the addiction for more than 1 entire year... I have been unsuccessful to achieve the 90 days streak (my goal is higher).

My best goal once once was (that was circa Feb 2023), 28 days FULL Hardcore no PMO... And the benefits I noticed:

- I felt so much more energetic, way more.
- More happy overall
- I had morning woods (I don't remember having MW at all from many years ago back then).
- So much confident... (Overall I am not).

And many other benefits, just trust the process brother!