15th day and it is not being an easy day. As Im writing this I think Im coming to my senses but throughout the day Ive been dealing with a lot of thoughts. I have been watching sissy pornography since maybe 2014 or something and, as most people dealing with this, it was progressive. Started with femdom, got to hypno and then all the sissy stuff happened. Still, I didnt consider myself as an active sissy, I only did these things once every 3 months or so. But porn never stopped, I tried nofap like 3 times, most I got was 20 days and eventually relapsed. To give you guys short, I basically only watched sissy hypno, it was and, for now, is what gets me going but when out of the fapping mindset I never feel attracted to men, only women. Before 2014 I only felt attracted by women. So, 7 years later, what if its too late? What if this is who I really am now but Im trying to supress it. I know that probably this is porn induced but I have to tell yall that it is scary because 15 days in Im having these thoughts, thoughts like what if Im really like this and if Im really a sissy... I will keep going tho, I really want to change this, Im tired of delaying every important aspect of my life because of this. To end, I strongly believe that Im not like this, posting this to check if there is someone that went or is going through something like this. Thank you
Hey dude, try not to stress too much. It’s your addiction and escalation to the extreme. Your addicted brain will ramp it up a lot to try and get you back to the pattern it’s got used to. That stuff is damaging to self esteem. Which then keeps us in a loop of degrading our selves. Maybe work with a decent psychotherapist to work out what core beliefs and traumas have fuelled these acts. You need to get parental locks on your devices and try and start some healthy hobbies/self soothes to have ways to turn to when feeling crap.
As you build your life and work through difficult feelings you’ve covered up the need for these stimulus will fade. You’re not a sissy or you would have known years ago. It’s just the shock factor of this porn created to get you hooked.
It certainly is. I left the whole sissy thing behind me. Check out my journal. That will gonna help you.
The thoughts you are having are not your own, they are from the porn. Did you have these thoughts before porn? No. It has nothing to do with who you are as a person, and everything to do with sick, twisted propagandists trying to corrupt your mind by feeding you this garbage. You are a perfectly functional man, recognize when these thoughts come that they are alien entities, and push them out. Also, there's no need to delay other aspects of your life because of this - you can improve yourself in several dimensions at once, it will actually make you feel better to have other accomplishments in your life and will form a feedback mechanism that will support your porn addiction recovery. Like some others have said, the feelings will fade over time - there are many people on this website who have reported that porn induced fetishes leave just as quickly as they came when you abstain. I know you can do this. You are 15 days in, you've already achieved a lot by making it two weeks - you've got a good streak going now. Don't ruin it because of some silly propaganda made by a malicious idiot. You're worth far more than that. There are plenty of testimonies on here from people that have overcome your particular problem that can help you if you're struggling.
it will go away no worries. I had the same, i almost thought i'm gay and after a year of nofap (of course i relapsed and i'm here again) i dont have that much thoughts of being gay/ sissy whatsoever. Stay away from PORN and try not to masturbate as long as possible. Stay away from porn is the crucial thing in this nofap therapy. i can be living proof that it works and those kinky fetishes go away with time. good luck
See my post in this thread. Hopefully it'll be of some help. In short, there are plenty of success stories on this forum, written by people who used to suffer from issues similar to yours. It's never too late to recover.
Mankind defines who they are with their acts. No matter what are your natural attractions or tendencies, you decide who you are. A man is not bad for having bad thoughts, but for allowing them and commiting bad acts. Are you really a sissy-born? Doesn't matter. Do you wanna be a sissy? That's the real question. First, give it a thought, and find your answer. Second, define your goal. What would a sissy watch, think and do? What wouldn't? Third, plan how to achieve your goal. Maybe it is as simple as stop watching porn for some time. Maybe you will have to rediscover masculinity values. Read, search, ask, reflect... Find a path to become who you wanna be. And remember: You define who you are.
fetishes (especially the more "extreme" ones) will fuck up your mind. especially since they can destroy your self esteem (as someone above mentioned) and makes you view yourself in a different way they are completely porn induced. youre making a good step in the right direction! i know that staying away from porn will weaken the "porn connection" in your mind, but i'm not sure how fetishes tie into this. maybe they are directly related with porn and operate the exact same way, i really dont know but thats an interesting thing to look up ultimately, strictly my 2 cents, this is not who you are. you've had this behavior/thought process embedded in you since 2014 and they have consistently been reinforced by videos and your own thoughts. i've seen tons of people dedicate their entire time/days/weeks/years to the sissy lifestyle and it is extremely damaging to a person's view of themselves (again, in my own opinion). the fact that you're acknowledging and moving away from it is a good start. keep going dude, kill the demon !
