Sex position and keeping an erection

My husband and I have been doing a hard mode reboot together, no intentional Os, but we have been having sex without Os, which is called karezza. After a month of no Os he could stay hard in any position, including missionary, and other actvities, for literally a couple hours, no problem. I think you need more reboot time.

 

My personal opinion is that it is because pmo, all those messages here about loosing erections because of changing positions or using condom or etc is nothing else than lost sensitivity due to past excessive PMO. Basically sexual impulse that this position is giving your brain is not enough, and you get hard only when you get super strong sexual impulse (for example that doggy position is giving you). However absolutely healthy man should get hard even only from kissing a girl or just from looking at naked boobs and not to need worry if I get hard this time or not; that should be automatic.

 

Nearly a month. We eventually gave in. But we gained so much from it, we are actually going back to it. The straight up definition of edging is MO for a long time with no O. Karezza is healthy sex with, usually, a committed couple. We've gained a lot from it, including, increased tenderness and love, increased sexual appetite for each other, him lasting longer in real sex, increased sensations for both of us and more. Edging, on the other hand, is you and your hand and gives you the opposite of all that.

My point was, I don't think it was the position, I think it was PMO controlling your brain. I agree with @JustinX.

 

My personal opinion is that, yes. You should. Three months no sex is a drop in the bucket compared to the time you've wasted PMOing, I would guess. And also compared to the rest of your life with healthy sex. I don't think one time sexual encounters are exactly healing for a PMO addict. Sex in a committed relationship, yes. But that is my personal opinion and not everyone would agree.

 

My 1st hunch is that you find that position slightly less exciting or arousing. Just plain normal sex, so not as big of a dopamine boost.

My 2nd hunch is that as you continue to heal, even the most boring position will be exciting.

 

You have not been doing hard mode. Hard mode means no sexual activity, whether you want to call it 'healthy sex' or whatever.

 

See the NoFaP reboot link.

"Hard Mode: Abstaining from Porn, Masturbation, and Orgasm Altogether
We lovingly nicknamed this mode “Hard Mode,” as many of our members are video gamers. Abstaining from PMO altogether includes barring orgasms with another person. Many rebooters do a Hard Mode reboot by default since they do not have partners or are not sexually active. Rebooters with partners can still do Hard Mode, but will want to get their partner’s on board with the idea of abstaining from sex or learning non-orgasmic sexual techniques. One such technique, karezza, has been successfully practiced by some members of the community.

While Hard Mode may seem like a more difficult reboot than P- or PM-Mode, Hard Mode rebooters won’t have to deal with the Chaser Effect, and they may experience the benefits of rebooting more quickly than if they’d done an another type of reboot."

 

Side note, if you scroll down further in the rebooting link, you can read more about monk mode. https://www.nofap.com/rebooting/

"Conversely, experienced rebooters may choose to engage in a more intense regimen. Taking on an extreme challenge can be very motivating for some people! When a rebooter takes on extreme disciplines during their challenge, we refer to this as 'Monk Mode.'
(further down)
Monk Mode rebooters in relationships might even agree with their partners to swear off all sexual contact for the duration of the reboot, including non-orgasmic contact."

We're doing hard mode, not monk mode.

 

Thanks for clarification and references fuckpornwife.

 

Actually, I think there is some science around the fact that it is often easier for men to maintain an erection while in "doggy style" or with the woman on top than in missionary position. It has to do with muscular tension in the legs, I think. I doubt that's the only thing in play here -- many men find the view nicer from one of those two positions than in missionary position; and doggy style certainly gives the man more control over penetration, speed, etc. -- but I think the physical demands of the position itself has something to do with it.

I also have noticed that the simple act of changing positions itself can sometimes cause me a problem, no matter what position we are changing from or to. Particularly those of us who have had to deal with performance anxiety around ED may have trouble with that sort of transition. The loss of contact/motion, the distraction and physical exertion, and the challenges that sometime accompany penetration, all can make such position changes fairly anxious moments for us.

My two cents, anyway.

 

Missionary is a very sacred and loving position (hence the term religious term "missionary").

Doggiestyle is more animalistic (hence the term "doggie").

The porn mind tends to be more animalistic. This is what she needs and this is how I am going to give it to her.

As time goes on (free from porn) you will later be able to handle more intimate and loving sexual positions. There are also articles that give tips to making the "woman from behind" position more intimate and loving as well.

When I was porn binging, the only position I could get off was doggie as well.

 

This is probably due to the past PMO, I can say so from experience. For me, any position that involved strain on my back was difficult, and doggy or girl on top was easiest. I actually mentioned this to a doctor who said that was just because I was more relaxed in those positions that were less physically demanding. Note that I wasn't out of shape either... Essentially what was happening is that because PMO caused some ED, I had to be in an unusually restful state to get hard enough.

 

Whoops I want to add that this did change later and I was able to perform successfully in missionary...

 

I share your problem. During my current reboot I have an erection and do positions like doggystyle, but now I can't even stay hard in bed with that position.