Sex is a high prioity.

This entire rant is operating from a pornography informed position. But that’s just my opinion.

I’m not saying this for the benefit of the op, because he’s made his opinion clear. This is for others, who might otherwise take silence for agreement. As a culture, we’re obsessed with sex and we don’t have to be. I speak from experience; when you get some distance from PMO and don’t obsess over the day when you can finally indulge your carnal cravings, you at least have the potential to stop caring about the entire thing so much & the feeling is liberating. You no longer center every major decision around an event that rarely ever happens, and are free to pursue relationships and goals that actually make an impact.

Sex is not the point of life’s journey. It’s something you pick up along the way.

 

I appreciate your honesty bro, you also made me chuckle

 

Have you ever considered, that an obsession over sex is part of your porn addiction? When I was deep into my addiction I thought sex is the greates thing ever, something that would give me inner peace. I needed it to live, let alone to be happy. Nowadays I appreciate sexuality more than ever, I enjoy it more than ever, but I dont see it anymore as means to an end. If you think the lack of sex equals sexual frustration I disagree. There are enough people having daily casual or paid sex who could tell you first hand. A unhealthy relationship to sex leads to sexual frustration.

 

it’s a good thing bc subconsciously your body and mind is forcing you to become better so you can attract a mate, so just hold the nut in until that happens

 

Is it anything outside of being a human dildo for horny women that you aspire to be? Use your sexual energy for that

 

Your sex drive seems to be out of control right now.
Try to calm down, keep on looking for your nookie but don't be so desperate to find a partner.
Certain kinds of women know how to take advantage of men who are avid for a nice p*ssy.
Keep that in mind. Good luck!

 

I mean no disrespect, but your comment made me laugh out loud here at home

 

Let’s start a fight club bruh

 

Yes, exactly.

 

The way OP phrases his argument makes it come across pretty goofy but I think he makes a fair point. Western society is schizophrenic when it comes to sex. Glorifying it on one hand, demonizing it (and the men who want to have it) on the other. If you point this out you're labelled an incel or a creep and shunned from society. All OP wants to do is get laid, there's nothing wrong with that.

I'd also be interested to know if OP is a virgin or not. Same for anyone trying to claim that sex doesn't really matter. I ask this because I find it amusing, and by amusing I mean really damned annoying, when people who have had plenty of sex try to act like it's not worth it, especially when talking to someone who can't manage to even have sex once. I also think some of you guys are so hung up on tying everything back to porn addiction that you're discounting the fact that sex is generally considered a basic human need. Yeah sure you can go without it, you won't die if you don't have sex, but you're clearly missing out if you don't have it, at least with a person who you love. Anyone who claims otherwise is full of shit, I'm sorry but they are. Sex isn't just about the physical act, it's about being desired by another person and the physical and mental validation that comes from that. Virgins and people who can't get laid aren't just angry because they can't stick their dick in a woman, they are angry because they are essentially being rejected, over and over and over again.

 

And before I forget, OP explicitly said he's been abstaining for 5 months. I don't think his attitude is based on porn at all. I think his sex drive is driving him feral. He's a 30 year old man, not a eunuch.

 

Nobody can have a healthy life without sex, that's a matter of fact.
My point is: don't get too much desperate to get a nookie, there are certain kinds of women out there ready to take full advantage of one's sex drive.
Go seek sex, that's what normal human beings do every day. But be wise, don't let people deceive you and use your needs against you.

 

I believe there are some studies out there that show celibates actually live longer and there are plenty of historical example of people who had healthy lives without sex, you got all those religious holy orders but also some of the most distinguished people in history like tesla or newton and anyone who think celibacy make one less manly should read on the the templar order.

 

There has not to be any shizophrenia. The corruption of the best, is the worst! If you really value something, you will automatically dislike its distortion and perversion. Sex is great, but that does not mean that every form of sexual acts are. In fact, missuse or even abuse are bad. Thats why we can all agree here that porn is bad. And some people may argue, that casual sex is and it should be reserved for commited relationships with intimacy.

Different people different experiences. I had at different lifephases very fullfilling sex lifes. I can assure you, that a a great sex life, or to be more specific the access to great sex, does not solve porn addiction relatet issues. Having relationships makes addiction in many ways even more complicated because another person is involved. Im not saying that sex is not worth it. Its great, but its not everything and not the magic cure some people hope it to be. Some people on NoFap insist that having a girlfriend and real sex will solve their problems. I was on the other end and can tell people from my experience. Let me tell you, it wont. But of course, find it out for yourself, I just want people to have the right expectations.

Of course people get lonely and everyone seeks intimacy, but dont forget that the obsession and sensitisation on sex is by definiton part of the sexual addiction problem. Seeking sex "over the top" is a symptom of addiction. Its very difficult for an addict in the earlier stages to differenciate between real hunger for intimacy and compulsive urges. Wanting to be "a womens dildo" with no personal interaction or intimacy, refraining from dating because sex is the only interest from the other gender and in general the impression that one is overwhelmed by their sexual urges gives me the impression, that OP's way of thinking is heavily influenced by his porn use. And by the way, I say this not to disrespect him, but because he seems genualy like a critical thinker and may profit from this. If he would be as critical toward his own affections as to society, who knows how much would improve his life.

With this I completely agree. In general I appreciate your post and dont want to seem like just countering your arguments.

 

I totally agree with you that sexual desire is a need but differ your proposition for not taking responsibility for it, Islam recognizes that sexual desire is a need and not a want. And You know what?! Curse our society for making marriages hard. That's why our prophet pbuh recommended us muslims to get married as soon as possible. More than half of the men prominent in history married early. As soon as i'll manage to pay up the rent of my parent's house. I'll be getting married inshallah. It's also said that in islam, if you're poor and you wanna marry for the sake of keeping yourself chaste, allah will enrich those couples from his bounty. It's excluding those who literally have nothing to offer for their wife for dowry.

If they be poor, Allah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allah is All-Sufficent for His creatures needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people)” [an-Noor 24:32].

This hadeeth was narrated by al-Bukhaari (5066) and Muslim (1400) from Ibn Mas‘ood, who said: We were with the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), young men who had nothing of wealth. The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said to us: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it should fast, for it will be a shield for him.”

If a person sincerely puts his trust in Allah, wants to keep himself chaste, and seeks that which is with Allah of bounty, there is the hope that Allah will help such a person and grant him provision from His bounty, as at-Tirmidhi (1655) narrated, in a report which he classed as hasan, from Abu Hurayrah, who said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There are three whom Allah is bound to help: the mujaahid who strives (in jihad) for the sake of Allah, the mukaatib (a slave who has made a contract of manumission with his master) who wants to pay off his manumission, and a man who gets married, seeking to remain chaste.”

And it was narrated that Ibn Mas‘ood said: “Seek independence of means through marriage.”

But we have made our culture to be independant first as an individual then marry. In fact it should be the quite the contrary.