Self Discipline and Porn

Wanted to share something that really helped me out when my NoFap journey began.

Why can’t I date the kind of woman I desire? Why do I keep giving in to masturbation and porn? Why am I not improving with women or getting laid even though I’ve bought every ebook, subscribed to every pickup gurus online program and watched every SimplePickup video on Youtube? Why am I not getting a six pack even after I changed my diet, joined a gym and lift 4 times a week consistently?


A lot of very intelligent men in our society have written sad stories for themselves- Addicted to porn, low testosterone, low self esteem, erectile dysfunction, always in the friendzone, still a virgin in their twenties and thirties or hooked up with five or six sub par women, addicted to hookers, the list goes on and on. Worse still, a lot of them have quit taking responsibility for their lives and blame society, feminism, minorities, their parents and the government.


The answer is your lack of self discipline. Yes.Good old-fashioned self-discipline.
Men do no begin to live until they exercise self discipline in their lives-they merely exist. Like beasts.


A beast goes after its cravings whenever and wherever it pleases him. A beast is also happy because it is not conscious of what it is missing in its life by indulging in every desire that comes its way. When a beast gets sick due overindulgence, it suffers and has no remedy for its suffering, because it has no idea how to escape its pain.


Once, on vacation in the Caribbean, I watched a group of monkeys take swigs of cocktails from the mugs and glasses of unsuspecting tourists at a beachfront bar. Sometimes they would steal entire bottles of beer, drag them to a corner of the beach and chug away. These little guys loved their liquor. They also didn’t know when to stop. They drank till they were drunk then rolled around on the beach and on empty deck chairs screaming, puking and eventually passing out.


Beasts don’t build civilizations, create great inventions that make the world a better place, lead other men to change the course of history, or control their destinies. Beasts eat, shit, have sex and sleep. They frequently do all four whenever and wherever they please.The only difference between the life of a beast and the life of an undisciplined man is that the man has even more desires than an animal and suffers in more complex ways than an animal is capable of suffering.


You cannot achieve anything worthwhile or lasting in the world till you successfully learn how to manage your mind. You also cannot escape the cycle of your being broke, being addicted to porn , depression and low self esteem.With self esteem you truly begin to live, begin to gain insight into a lot of confusing or misaligned areas of your life and eventually, begin to control your destiny. I mean truly have full control over the direction you want your life to move in.


When I had no self discipline, I masturbated everyday, played World of Warcraft daily, smoked weed, got shitfaced on weekends, and spent hours online talking shit on forums and doing nothing really constructive with my life. I worked a low paying job that I hated and graduated from a mediocre school with average grades. However, I was witty, funny, read a lot, had a college degree thought I was decent looking and came from a good “middle class” family.


The truth was, if I got hit by a bus the next day, my existence would not have made a difference in the world. No impact, not a dent, not a scratch. Sometimes, I would get inspired by a blog post or a book and drag my butt to the gym for a few weeks or even stop watching porn and masturbating for a few days, but eventually I would be back to the same cycle of mediocrity.


It was not until I made a decision to make a major change in one area life that everything else changed. All of us have one “corner stone” habit that keeps every other aspect of our lives mediocre. Once we change this habit, most of the mediocre areas of our lives suddenly realign themselves automatically. For you it may be your eating habits, or you lack of focus at work. For me, it was porn. Its tough to be disciplined at twenty things at once-usually a recipe for failure. Its much easier to focus on one weak area of your life, then fix the shit out of it.
self discipline

The first, and in my opinion, most important step in developing self discipline is understanding it.
There are three stages of Self Discipline. I call them the the three C’s.
Control: Control begins when you first make a decision to gain control over any area of your life that is running wild and dominating you by coralling it and cutting it off from anything that can feed it. An example is changing your body by getting rid of all the junk food, candy, sugar, and soda from your home, then refusing to shop in any of the aisles because everything that healthy and keeps you healthy and within your weight limit like fresh vegetables and lean meat is mostly located at the perimeter of the grocery store.
Be aware that Control does not make you self disciplined.It extends to doing cardio-vascular exercise everyday and lifting weights to build muscle mass while remaining hyper aware of situations that could cause you to break your diet or skip exercise. You will still get strong urges to eat junk food, and sleep in when you should be hitting the treadmill, but you fight these urges and restrain them every time they strain at their leash.Most men never rise above this stage and frequently fall out of it altogether.


Cleanse: This is beyond merely restraining you bad habits and impulses. You’ve gone through the pain of control and in the process developed inner strength and ideals that have roots in your beliefs. Cleansing involves preventing them from arising in the first place. Simply controlling your impulses does not make you self disciplined. A man at this stage of self discipline realizes that every time he gives in to an impulse, he wastes energy that could be spent more creatively towards efforts such as business or creating financial freedom for himself, building up his health and physique or making his mark in the world.
The men making big moves in the world today are the men who have achieved this stage of self discipline.They are more capable of sticking to their goals. They work longer, harder hours. They make more money that you, have sex with more women than you, have better bodies than you, drive nicer cars, things happier thoughts, live in nicer homes, vacation in nicer places and get more fulfillment of life than you.
This is not an intellectual understanding-its a realization . Just as you realize that stuffing yourself with beans makes you gassy and leads to farting, so do you instinctively realize once you have reached the Cleansing stage that constantly masturbating, for instance, kills your drive to be successful. Men at this stage may still feel the tug of their beastly days, but his realization of the truth always keeps in in check.Few men have the perseverance to reach this level. Those who live on this level usually keep doing whatever it takes to stay there.


Cutting Loose: The third stage of self-discipline, cutting loose, is the process of cutting out all the weak impulses and useless thoughts from your mind. This is a process that takes time. As a man begins to grow in stage two, his realization only grows deeper and he sees that every weak and beastly impulse of his eventually disappears from his life as he exercises greater and greater Control. He starts understanding and gaining deeper qualities in his life such as love and compassion.


Without self discipline in your life, you are nothing more than an animal. A man who is a slave to pornography, despite the lies he tells himself to the contrary, despite his education, position in society, family or job, is still a slave and he knows it. He just chooses to remain a slave.


There is an amazing life out there for you as a man, but if you keep giving in to your weaknesses because they feel better; if you keep masturbating because you love the excitement, endless variety, the thrill and pleasure of ejaculation, then you just chose the life of an animal over that of a real man.
If you know compulsive porn use is the “cornerstone habit” in your life, changing the habit will be the one change you need to make to flip your life around.

 

Anon Hymous, here is a link to my thread in the forum with my full story


http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?4724-I-got-over-12-years-of-PMO&p=26972#post26972

I am not referring to competition- although I use comparisons. These are men who ARE competing with themselves to achieve their goals. If you are no achieving any of your life goals and constantly settling, chances are you lack self discipline.Either the discipline to work hard,to persevere in the face of failure, or to make sacrifices consistently.
Yes, sometimes filters will block out the site because of the domain name

cocorosie, in my opinion, it is possible to find yourself between Control and cleanse, but arriving at Cutting Loose is a very apparent occurance. There will be no question or confusion about it once yo have arrived.