What I will write now will be controversial: What do you think about the fact that sometimes our mutual support should be more aggressive? I mean, it may be ineffective when: - someone relapse and then we all will write that "nothing has happened", "start again", and always will give you support again. If we knew that, for example, we would be called weaklings for the relapse, maybe more people would abstain. Sometimes it's just that a football team playing awful, with a lot of fouls turns out to be more effective than a team that plays very friendly. And this is about our life, about the fact that we don't awake at the age of 65 with the knowledge that we have wasted life because of onanism. I'm not saying that I will use it myself, I just want to know your opinion on the subject
I wholeheartedly agree with you. When people relapse, they should receive no sympathy, only pain and criticism. This would then force them to see their error of ways and correct their doomed mistakes
Wow, that's just toxic. I'm already good at blaming myself and ruining my own self-esteem, so I don't any help with that, thanks. We're not playing football here, by the way.
If people want to stop relapsing then they need to be more spiritual. The mind of the modern man is sick because it is not equipped with prayers and holy images to drive away the impure thoughts. People should be going back to church and I mean it (it helped me meet my nofap goals because it cleanses my mind of horrible sexual fantasies).
Depends at what level your friendship is with the person. You can share “hard love” language with a close friend but those same words will not be taken well by someone you’re not a close to.
If you relapse, you shouldn't blame yourself, blame your behaviour. There's a huge difference between the two
I would agree with your tactics if we were all together somewhere in a bootcamp. But this is an online forum and people have the option to just close the page and not come back if they feel like it's too unpleasant. So the tough-love tactic depends on people actually sticking around but there's no guarantee for that. So you end up losing a large portion of the users and that's not good.
Anyone who relapse is a loser.. I'm not afraid to call him a loser..beacuse he is being a fucking loser..
You have written many wise opinions here for which I thank you very much! Of course, I try to be a very nice person myself, but here is a very, very tricky enemy - pornography and masturbation. The goal of defeating this addiction. It is the most important thing. Now, after what I've read from you (all of you) - My advice is just a total support for someone who was, for example, a 45-day streak, but he happened to fall. He will know that he just made mistake. However: If someone wrote typical thing like "from today I start to fight pornography" and then three times a week he writes "relapsed, day 0 again" - do not be afraid to finally shout at him. Someone who, let's say, never had more than 5 days without masturbation does not know how good he will feel after a long period of abstinence, he must be almost afraid of fapping.
