Regret

I struggle with guilt and regrets, too. Faith in God has helped immensely. He's given me paths through which I have been able to help right some of the wrongs of my past.

Here are some of the key things that have helped me:

1. Talking about your regrets to other people, especially people you know in real life. Sometimes it's hard to find someone you feel like you can trust, but I find that giving people the benefit of the doubt is a good policy for reaching out. There are many, many people who struggle like us. No one is alone in their struggle - and there are lots of people who want to help.
Perhaps a certified counselor, a trusted friend, or a family member could help.

2. Forgive others and reconcile with people when you can. This may seem like a non-sequitur, but many regrets in life are founded in hard feelings and grudges that can drain you over time.

3. Listen to other people and try to help them with their struggles. Serving others and helping them in their lives is one of the best ways to make progress in your own.

4. Regret can be a motivator, but oftentimes it can be a toxic, heavy burden. Ask yourself: is the regret I'm feeling helping me become a better person? Or is simply making it hard to get out of bed in the morning? If you'd need a time machine to fix a mistake, you're better off making the best of things than beating yourself up over it. I struggle with this one a lot, so I'm putting it here to remind myself as much as anybody.

5. Belief in a higher purpose. Believing that life is meaningful and that I play a small, yet important role in the unfolding cosmic drama has helped to give me peace in difficult times. Our faults and mistakes can serve a redemptive purpose, even if we struggle to see it now- even our regrets may be blessings in disguise if they help spur us on to a higher good.

Hope things get better soon.

 

Accept it. You can't change those actions you have made.
Failure is a part of learning process. In fact you didn't fail, you just learned something new.
With that new knowlegde you can grow and become better in it.

 

never regret something and believe in fate... god is redirecting you from something good to something better
even the biggest failures can lead to the biggest success... you just need to be patient ( in my case 3.5 years)

use that pain to grow ---> the pain today will be your strength tomorrow

 

Faith With God, I decided to respond to your post because I too, have faith. Here is my suggestion to deal with failure. Immediately stop beating yourself up. Then start spending all your energy improving yourself and preparing yourself to succeed. If you failed an exam because you didn't study enough, the answer is simple: STUDY MORE, KNUCKLEHEAD! If you missed out on talking to a girl, then if you want to get the girl, which keep in mind the fact that the odds of getting digits are stacked against ANY MAN almost all the time, then slow down and take your time, talk to her, and stay in that conversation. Then tell her that you have to go after a brief conversation, and ask for the ding dang number. She either says yes or no. You have to build up tolerance for rejection, just like you built up tolerance to dopamine through getting addicted to porn.

 

Without failure / mistakes / regret, then you wouldn't know how to appreciate and improve. It's necessary. Focus on what you can change. Not on what you can't (the past).

 

For me, going NoFap is the key to life. I have not yet completed a reboot, but the first thing that went out the window when I had my relapse this year was my yoga routine. But on Feb 6 (or 7, sorry I forget), I did get motivated, and the weird thing was that with absolutely no change in diet, and no physical activity other than 1 hour of yoga, I lost 30 lbs. Then I was convinced...

 

This article is from my religion and I felt inspired to share. I hope you find it useful to your question: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/of-regrets-and-resolutions?lang=eng

 

well I can tell you from experience sometime you just have to remind yourself that your human not perfect your going to mess up say and do the wrong things sometimes it happens welcome to being human

 

First off congrats on being PMO free for 50 days that’s awesome! In my opinion what may be happening to you is that all of these feelings that you have held in for years and pushed away for years with pmo are now coming to the surface. Before you would pmo to forget and now you don’t. So it’s understandable that you are being overwhelmed right now. Who wouldn’t be? If I think of all the bad decisions I made or decisions I questioned for the time you were a pmo addict i would be overwhelmed. So recognize that. Understand this feels exaggerated now for that reason.

As far as regret ask yourself what purpose it serves? Some regrets help us to not repeat the behavior. Like I did crappy on that test so next time I will study harder. Or mixing beer with liquor was dumb I got so sick never do that again. Making mistakes is part of the learning process of life. We all do it. But beating yourself up over the past serves no purpose. Why waste your time on something you can’t fix? You are living in the past and as a result you are ruining your future. So with the regrets write each one down and then put what you learned from that mistake and how you will do your best to not make it again. Then ask how is obsessing about this regret helping me?

You have to learn to forgive yourself and know you are not perfect none of us are. I make at least 5 mistakes a day. I don’t dwell on them. Don’t let your past mistakes define your future life.

 

Well ironically if u cant let it go. U may need to face it. Figure out why u failed. Single it down to one trait. One aspect of urself that made u make that mistake. If it really was a mistake not something u didnt have control over even by ur own personalities account. And u ask urself okay have i improved in this regard and if i havent then I should work on that starting now.

I'd suggest you take this test ( short version )
http://www.personal.psu.edu/~j5j/IPIP/

Its based on the big five aspect scale. Meaning its pretty accurate and well known.

See your problem is that you are really personalizing what happened. While its not a bad thing to take responsibility it will always be hard to deal with it if u aren't exactly sure what part of u was responsible for that. And whatever that ends up being. U dont need to hate that part. Sometimes u dont even need to change it or can change it. Sometimes about ourselves are a give and take of our personality that whether by our parental conditioning or biology isnt out fault to a large degree.

For example I have regrets about trusting certain women. And well I know now as well my traits try to see the best in people and give them the benefit of the doubt. Even though I am great at detecting liars, even then I assume they are lying for a good reason. So its easy for me to get burned a few times and say im such an idiot for trusting this person or I got fooled etc... Or I can realize that you know this isnt a bad trait. Maybe the problem is I picked the wrong places or the wrong people to allow myself to use it in.

So yeah maybe u spent 15 mins on this and u learn things about urself. But the things u learn , it will help u be able to face problems with things u know are good about u . Optimize your strengths. Don't worry about fixing the past. the past doesnt exist. All u have is u and a memory in ur brain thats trying to make scare u to make sure u dont do it again. Figure out the trait that allowed it to happen and move on.