Recently married seeks support for husbands pmo

I'm not sure why I feel ashamed. I suppose it's because I feel like it's a comment on me. I'm not good enough or whatever. I know it's not about that. But I just can't help that feeling. I'm working on my self esteem. Because this is something that's been with me for a while and it needs to change xx

 

Thanks as always for the support guys. You make this process less awful.

Things seem to be looking up after the weekend. The husband is happy to get a blocker for my piece of mind. Although he has said he is determined this time. He's also removed a dodgy element on Facebook. I was very happy about this as I know he didn't have to do that. He said he would rather make me happy. He says he is determined never to make me cry again (unless I'm giving birth apparently haha).

I'm not nieve enough to think we're riding off into the sunset together. I know there will be stumbling blocks along the way. But as long as he's showing the desire to work through our issues, I can forgive setbacks. And to be completely fair to him, his pmo use has lessened dramatically. So he has made significant progress. I think the struggle lately is more to do with trying to find a way to replace that dopamine fix.

We're going out for a nice meal on Friday together. Probably our first date night in a long time. I'm hoping things are looking up xx

 

Feeling teary is ok. It's understandable. Let yourself feel upset sometimes. Its cathartic to let your emotions out sometimes. Do something nice for yourself when you feel a bit down. Worrying endlessly about what if will only drive you crazy. I know it's impossible to let go of that feeling sometimes. Try taking one of the pmo recovery steps on board. Don't push those feelings away. Acknowledge them. Give yourself a certain amount of time to cry or worry. Then her up and do something else. I hope you feel better xx

 

Update time hooray! Not much to be told really. The dreaded manflu has arrived in the house. The husband has been feeling a bit sorry for himself. We went out on the weekend and got another ps4 contoller so we can play some games together. Currently playing Diablo 3 which is very entertaining.

As far as I can tell things are ok on the pmo front. Nothing suspicious going on. We're trying to spend more quality time together which is nice. Weather here is utterly crap so there's a lot of snuggling up with the duvet and watching films or playing games.

I'm feeling hopeful that this really is a turning point. Hope everyone is doing well xx

 

Feeling pretty crappy today. Struggling with images in my head. Stressing about things that never even happened. I know it's all in my head but it's really distressing me. Interupting my sleep and making me irritable.

To top it off, he got some pretty terrible news in work today so I'm unable to talk to him about my fears because I don't want to stress him out any further.

He is planning to go out on Friday. There is a chance that the girl he was flirting with will be there. He has said he will check she won't be there before deciding to go. I feel like I can't tell him not to go. I'm also worried that he may bend the truth just so he can go out for a drink with his friends. I wonder if I can trust my own judgment. Maybe I'm being over dramatic.

 

I spoke to the husband last night about my worry over the girl.

He was very understanding. He recognises that he made a stupid mistake and is so sorry that he ever made me feel like he was interested in anyone else. He has reassured me that he has no feelings for this girl and it was just a meaningless comment. He's also said he will stay home if she will be there, or he said He's like me to come if I want to.

He's also asked me to stay home tonight (i go to my parents on a wednesday) as he's feeling really depressed about his work situation and wants to spend time with me. Which is very sweet. He normally pulls away in these situations so it's nice to feel he wants to include me in his decisions. He even called my mum to ask her advice. I think he feels very close to my family.

It's six years since we started dating today. We're not celebrating or anything as we decided we would just start celebrating our wedding anniversary to make things less confusing. It's also 4 days before Valentine's day. But it's nice to just chill together and have a snuggle in front of the tv.

I'm feeling better today. Still worried about work situations but happy about our relationship. Xx

 

Feeling positive today that we might actually work things out. The husband decided to stay home Friday night. He said he wasn't in the right frame of mind to go out drinking. I was pleased because he usually uses alcohol if he's feeling down. I don't think that healthy so I'm happy he chose not to go.

We've had a lovely weekend together playing games, eating nice food and having a quiet drink. Of course watching the rugby too. The husband actually paid me a compliment yesterday. I can't remember the last time that happened. I feel like he's really trying to get back to normal.

Work things are still up in the air but we're working on it together. And that's a good thing. Hope y'all had a good weekend xx

 

Today I weep for humanity. Not because of anything the husband has done really. I have been thinking a lot about our hypersexualised culture. Maybe I'm super sensitive to it at the moment but it seems to be everywhere. Female celebrities wander around practically naked. Women aren't valued for who we are or what we can achieve. We are simply valued for randomly selected genetic wobbly bits. Grown men, with children, seem unable to stop ogling the naked flesh that's constantly paraded in front of them. I don't really blame them. It makes me sad.

There are so many women out there. Fighting for equality. Fighting to put an end to gender stereotypes. Fighting to be recognised for their achievements. Intellectual, brilliant, funny and kind women. Women who want to make a difference in the world. And it's all swept away with the flash of a breast. And once again, it's something that men get away with. Male celebrities are able to strut around in speedos, but it doesn't detract from their gender's achievements. It doesn't hinder them from being successful buisnessmen, world leaders, scientists. Because clearly men have more to offer than flesh.

We think we're making progress, only to be sabotaged by our own. I'm not suggesting that men don't suffer from objectification. But it is far less prevalent than what women have to put up with. We're constantly catalogued by how hot we are, how big our boobs are, how thin we are, how much our asses wobble. In all honesty, has a man ever looked at a woman and wondered how smart she is, what her views are on world events, what books she's read? Nope. It all boils down to basic reproductive organs. And if NoFap, and countless other anectdotal evidence is to be believed. Half the men on the planet are unable to have successful intercourse with these fit women anyway.

So yeah. Today I'm mostly having a pity party. Do you want to join me? We have comfy chairs. Maybe even cake.

 

You, my darling, can discuss whatever you like. Something on your mind?

 

I'm all right. Plodding along. Trying to get through the days.

The husband seems to be doing well. Still finding it hard to believe him. Suppose I always will. How are things with you? Xx