PJ here. update on my reboot

Hey y'all,

I've been hardcore trying to stop for at least a few months now, never getting further than a week or two before relapsing every time. Last week I let myself do a horrible 4-day binge period that left me depressed and anxious, unable to sleep for 48 hours straight. I was really out of control, seriously. It was bad.

My eyes were bloodshot and I was clearly very "out of it," due to the brain fog and lack of sleep, yet I somehow could not feel tired.

Then, last Tuesday my girlfriend broke up with me over text and then blocked me on everything. It came out of nowhere, we had just went out together the Friday before and had an amazing time. Her friends all said she was very happy with our relationship, so it was unexpected for sure.

Anyways, I hit rock bottom, and since Wednesday I haven't looked at any explicit matierial or masturbated once for nearly 5 days in a row. I have been praying every morning and night, as well as thinking out a prayer every time I get a porn thought, as well as filling up my schedule and working out. On top of that, I have been sleeping really well, and setting up a decent sleep schedule.

I feel really good, and I am so glad that I didn't turn back to the PMO after the breakup. I think that I am handling things really well, and I actually feel healthy for the first time in a long time, both mentally and physically. I do NOT think that I would be dealing with things this well if I hadn't stopped the PMO.

I know sometimes you have to get a wake-up call in order to really change your behaviour, and this was mine for sure. I just pray that I don't require trauma as my motivation in the future, and that I can make positive life choices based on my own conviction rather than my pain.

But thanks for reading peeps. I know it has only been 4 or 5 days, and this is a marathon not a sprint, so I could use any support or prayers or advice from anyone here who is further in the process and can help.

Whoever you are, I love you, you are worthy of love, and you can overcome ANYTHING that you're struggling with.

PJ out.