Pickup women at grocery stores, fear, excuses etc

Well I've done that, and it doesn't work. Oh and it absolutely IS intrusive.

Why? Because girls aren't idiots. When you talk to them, even about the most innocent things, they know you're trying to get their number. THEY KNOW YOU LIKE THEIR BOOBS AND BUTT AND YOU WANT TO SEE THEM NAKED! Why else would you talk to a random girl you don't know? Girls are smarter than you think.

Once I went up to a girl who was reading and said, "Hey do you like that book?"

She responded with, "Look, I don't know what you want from me, but I have a husband so please leave."

Cold approach is intrusive, creepy and needy whether we like it or not. When you see a girl you find attractive and you actually GO AFTER her (neediness) only because you like her butt and boobs (creepiness), it will feel really awkward to the girl (intrusiveness).

Again, if you're in a bar or club, approach as many women as you want. Those girls go there to get laid lmao. But in public places, you're just going to seem like a weirdo creep. Not a fun feeling at all.

 

Yea but 2 numbers don't mean anything if you don't get dates. Remember, lots of girls will feel bad to reject you so they'll just give you their number but ignore you when you text them.

Numbers really don't mean anything.

 

Well maybe that's your problem. If that's what girls are sensing from you, then yeah, they probably think you're creepy. Because that is creepy. Nobody wants to talk to some random dude who just sees you as a pair of boobs and a butt they want to see naked.

Do you really though? Lol because it seems like every time I've chimed in on this subject before, whatever I have to say goes in one ear and out the other.

Well, you asked for my opinion, so I guess I'll give it.

It just depends on the woman, really. Some women are focused on their task and not really interested in being picked up. Some women are more open to chatting and might be interested. There is no way to know, really, unless the woman is giving obvious signs that she doesn't want to be spoken to. I mean, for instance, I wear headphones when I go grocery shopping, so it would be kind of stupid for a guy to think I'm interested in being talked to.

As a woman, and a pretty attractive one actually (not to brag or anything, but I'm not blind and I know what attractive women look like, and I'd say I am one), I actually have very, very little experience with random guys trying to pick me up. Idk what it is. Maybe I give off a vibe that says I'm not interested or something, but I don't have many experiences to draw on that I could say worked or didn't work.

I can really only think of one time that a stranger tried to ask me out, and if I hadn't already been married at the time, I will say, I actually probably would have said yes. Which is quite a statement from me, because I generally am not interested in dating a stranger I know nothing about. So I'll share that experience. But again, I'm just one woman... I don't speak for all of them, but I'm also not a special unique unicorn, so I'm sure there are others like me out there.

So I was shopping for something at Kohl's (can't remember what. Probably clothes). I was wearing my university sweat pants, which have the name of the school on it. I went to a Christian University, which is relevant to the story, and I was also wearing a Marvel shirt.

So the cashier saw my pants and I think he said that he either went to the same school currently, or has recently graduated from there. That was a nice connection right away, because that implied to me that he was a Christian, which is a must for me. I would never have been interested in dating someone who didn't share my faith.

So we chatted about that for a second. Then he noted my Marvel shirt and he asked me if I had seen the new movie (I don't remember which one it was, maybe Black Panther). I told him I had and that I liked it. He said he had seen it too, and then he said something along the lines of "I was actually thinking of seeing it again tonight, if you'd want to join me." I was very flattered and a little taken aback, because I've pretty much never been asked out in my life really, and I said something like "oh, that's really nice, but I don't think my husband would like that very much *laugh*" He laughed and said "ah, yeah, probably not." And then finished ringing me up and I left.

Nothing at all about that felt awkward for me. I'm sure he probably felt a bit awkward, but if he did, he shouldn't have to, because he obviously did nothing wrong. It was sweet and casual and he made it easy to politely decline without feeling like he would be mad or something.

Anyway, that is the one and only experience I can recall ever having a stranger ask me out. Not sure if that story means anything or is helpful in any way, but *shrug* there you go.

I think unfortunately many women feel very uncomfortable being approached or spoken to by strange men because they have had some very scary experiences, or they know many other women who have had really scary experiences. If guyso don't understand this, I'd recommend you go watch some "r/niceguys" videos by a YouTube creator named "Sorrow TV." You'll have a good laugh, but you'll also learn a little something about why women are often afraid of strange men trying to talk to them. You never know what could happen. I mean, that guy at Kohl's seemed nice to me, but he just as easily could have been a total nut job who decided to follow me to my car and call me a b***h for rejecting him, or do something even worse. Those things happen, and they happen a lot. So while I have some sympathy for men who are having a hard time talking to women, you guys also need to have sympathy for what so many women have been through that has made them need to put up those guards that you find annoying. It's not like they're just being cold for no reason, to be a jerk. They're protecting themselves, because they don't know you.

 

Trust me bro, I'm 100% with you lol.

I have 0 social circle. No connections. It's a tough world out there. Nobody ever told me it's this hard to find a mate nowadays.

 

I had sex with 19 women over the last 2 years with cold approaching. These relationships were for the most part fulfilling, because I actuelly CHOSE these women.

1/500 it was the first year I started. And yes it was difficult. But I didn’t give up. And now I can approach any girl, be myself and have a very high chance of seeeing her again if she’s single. Because I worked on myself.

i have about 20 female friends and they all tell me that cold approaching is amazing. And that they would love to be approached by a cool, honest guy on the street.
I even made a youtube video on my story (which I put on my instagram so everytime I take an instagram she has access to my vidéo)
And I NEVER received any negative comments by my female friends or the women I date. They all tell me it’s brave.

so sorry to hear that man but i don’t agree with you lol. Cold approach changed my life. Not only my result with girls, but my confidence, empathy, courage, honesty.

If you’re not ready to handle rejection, and you feel anger every time you get rejected, then cold approach is not for you
Because rejection will always be there, doesn’t matter how good and handsome you are

 

You just described exactly how I feel inside, after 4 years of practice approaching women and trying to understand relationships. You go through a lot of states in the beginning. Excitement, fears, discouragement, feeling like crap, feeling incredible. Even hating women, you get so rejected that how can you not hate women at some point.

But you have to go through this. Until one day you've worked so hard on yourself that all that's left is healthy things. Vulnerability, honesty, kindness, intention.

I've seen about 20 guys start this process in the same town as me. And give up after weeks/months/years of practice. The trick is to find something more important than sleeping with women. even if you start out of frustration.
For me, my evolution, the man I become, has always been more important than my results. That's why I kept going, despite the rejections, hard times. times when it doesn't work, and you feel like shit.

Because I take pleasure in surpassing myself and giving the best of myself every day. It's as simple as that. And one day, you start to get results, because you don't care anymore about getting results. It's paradoxical.
But expecting to get results when you have no experience is suicide. It's the best way to give up.
It's a marathon, not a sprint. Like I said, you go through a lot of states, but you feel alive. You evolve, you get stronger, you develop human qualities that are essential for healthy relationships, both with yourself and with others.

Sex is like a slice of pizza. You have fun but once it's over, it's over. And it will never be enough. i know guys who also approach women, have slept with more than 100 girls but are still frustrated and unhappy.
Who you become, no one can take that away from you.

 

It is a skill that needs to be trained. If you approach 60 women without any nice responses, then you are obviously doing something wrong.
I have approached over 200 girls with just lots of positivity and masculine energy and have a phone number success rate of 33%. There's a lot of little things to think about when approaching a girl, but I always encourage to just do it and try to see how you go. Sitting at home writing down how to perfectly approach a girl so you won't fail isn't really the way to go. Just go out there and fail and get your ego crushed man it will make you so much stronger and better in all aspects of life.
Over time you will get the hang of it and start to learn other tricks and things to make your game better, but first get over the approach anxiety.

What I did when I started to get over my approach anxiety was by asking strangers for directions to random places that I didn't need to go to lol. I would ask anyone, guys, females, old women and then hot girls as well.

My latest approach was quite a good one.
Smoking hot girl at a smoothie bar, just asked her if the smoothies were any good. Just had a little small talk and then just asked what she was up to. Then we went dating the whole day to the park etc and eventually ended up in her hotel room.
Later she explained that she loved my approach by just asking about her smoothie. She thought it was really good, even though it's such a little random thing to ask.

Get after it and don't look back Change your approach and be positive, try to think in a way that you just want to give the girl a good feeling and do not care about your own results. The results will come.

 

So basically, you're echoing exactly what I'm saying.

Cold approach is stupid, needy, creepy and INTRUSIVE.

There's nothing worse than approaching a woman and feeling like she thinks you're a creep. So awkward and humiliating.

 

No, It's not just my problem at all. it's just the nature of cold approach.

When ANY man cold approaches a woman, he knows nothing about her. The ONLY reason he's approaching her is because he likes her body parts. And women know this. They aren't dumb. Why else would a man approach a woman he's never spoken to? Because he thinks she would make a great girlfriend? He doesn't know anything about her!

I've never heard of a man approaching a woman because he THINKS she has a great personality LOL.

 

Right, I agree with you and I'm like you as well. For example, If I approach a really attractive girl and I find out her personality is awful, I leave. No, I RUN! So, I too, want to discover her personality.

BUT

The problem is, when you approach a girl you don't know, what is the girl going to think? She will NEVER think to herself, "This guy is approaching me to get to know my personality." She's going to be thinking, "The only reason this guy is approaching me because he likes my body parts."

It's not a good way to make a girl feel and it's not a great method to starting a loving relationship. She will always feel like the only reason you want her is because of her looks. This is exactly how cold approach makes a woman feel, even though we might actually love her for her personality.

 

Hmm... Interesting.

Thanks for your perspective!

 

Well, no, that's not really what I said. It CAN be creepy, yes. But it doesn't have to be. I don't think "cold approach" is automatically bad or creepy inherently.

There's a huge difference between finding a woman pretty and "liking her boobs and butt and wanting to see her naked."

 

Well according to @Will Cameron, it's a good thing to sexualize women and view them as a sex object.

I swear I will never understand women... I love them, but I will never understand them.

Even Stephen Hawking and Sigmund Freud admitted that women were impossible to understand, and they're two of the smartest human beings that ever walked the planet LMAO.

 

This actually explains why all the douchebags and scumbags who just use women as pieces of meat seem to have the most sexual options.

I know guys who have slept with over 100 women and they're literally the biggest douchebags and the most arrogant pieces of garbage you'll ever meet. This one scumbag I know just pumps and dumps every girl he meets and treats them like walking holes and he has slept with over 150 girls. He's literally the filthiest human being I've ever met in my life. He treats girls like numbers on his bed post.

And I'm over here respecting women and treating them well and getting ignored and rejected constantly lol.

I kid you not, all the guys I know who have a bunch of sexual options are SCUM. All the modest, humble and nice guys who have respect for women are struggling to find even 1 girl to look in their direction. Anyone else see this play out in their lives?

 

I can tell you one major reason why this is.

Because "pump and dump" guys attract whatever the female equivalent of "pump and dump" women is. Respectful, kind, loving men attract respectful, kind, loving women who probably aren't interested in just having sex with a stranger for the night.

So yeah, if all you're looking for is sex for a night, maybe being a douche bag might get you that. But if you're looking for a quality woman who is relationship material, for something long term, then you have no reason to be jealous of those men. They aren't getting with that kind of woman either. You being jealous of them would be just as silly as a woman who is looking for husband material being jealous of the woman those douchey guys are hooking up with.