I've been thinking about the word rest and how it can be applied. If I'm just sitting around, scrolling Facebook, my mind can go to wrong places and I find going for walks more resting. I have come to the conclusion that rest is different for everyone and we should find out how we can rest in our own way but if it doesn't help us grow closer to God, it's not useful
I had a few more urges this afternoon and went for another walk. My back has been hurting too but walking is helping with that
I'm feeling better about myself now. I messaged my therapist and he said I just need to get back up and start again
I've been hearing a lot of sermons and seeing videos and articles about prayer recently but the more I think about it, the more I realise that my prayer life needs to be better
I have a devotional book of writings from Augustine which I'll try and start today. It's called a month with St Augustine and has 31 morning and evening devotionals
I took a walkway that has been a temptation for me in the past and done something I shouldn't so I'm calling it a relapse
St. Augustine has been an inspiration and a help to me on this journey as well as other great saints like Mary, Mary Magdalene and St. Joseph. There are many ways to commence a conversation with our Lord/ many ways to pray. When you find one that resonates with you, stay there for as long as you feel its impact. Prayer by rote (praying well known or written prayers) has value and sometimes just saying the Our Father is just what I need. At other times, it is helpful to compose my own prayers in the order of A.C.T.S. (Adoration/Contrition/Thanks/Supplication). Another method is known as Lectio Divina. This is the practice of reading scripture and then imagining yourself as an observer in the scene with all of the sights, sounds, smells and climate conditions. I am sure if you Google these things you will get a better feel for each of them than I am providing. Prayer is something to be enjoyed, not endured. What could be more enjoyable than a conversation with the most knowledgable and compassionate being in the universe? Do a bit of study on ways to pray. Man has been pondering the subject for generations and some wise and inspired persons have written some truly useful things.
It's been a while since I've posted here but it's been beneficial. I had a counseling session on Tuesday and my therapist gave some good advice about how I should find a cost for when I fall. I said that telling him every time and having to give details can be a cost but I should find something else like switching off my phone when I fall and not allowing myself anything online
That's a good question and the only answer I can give is because it's a compulsion. I think on some level, I still get some enjoyment about it but there's also a level that I hate it. It is confusing but it's about boredom and depression with a bit of compulsion in there
I don't know who I am to be giving advice on this, seeing as how my counter is at a big fat zero right now. But I would suggest you dig a bit deeper into the "why" question. Why is it a compulsion? Of course you get some sort of enjoyment out of it--it is, on some level, a pleasurable activity (at least the brain understands it that way). And sure, it's a way to escape boredom because it's exciting, and it's a way to get a temporary reprive from depression. But porn and masturbation is giving you something. The questions is, "what is porn/masturbation giving you that you aren't able to get elsewhere?" Have you read Jay Stringer's book Unwanted? If not, here are some free articles you are welcome to check out. I'd recommend starting here: https://www.covenanteyes.com/2017/09/28/what-sexual-fantasies-might-say-about-you/ (more here: https://www.covenanteyes.com/author/jay-stringer/ ).
