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On Rationalizations and Justifications

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by AllanTheCowboy, May 4, 2017.

  1. May 4, 2017 #1
    AllanTheCowboy

    AllanTheCowboy Fapstronaut

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    We don't come up with reasons so that it's okay so that we can PMO. Rather, we know that our capitulation to the urge to participate in something evil is inevitable. Therefore, we invent reasons it's okay, not because we want to do it, but because we had to find a way to live with the fact that we , and we will again. The rationalization isn't invented to justify our behavior to our SO's, or to get us out of blame. We use it that way later, but that's not what creates it. Our rationalizations are ice for the swelling of self-loathing.

    We're falling into a normal part of the abuse cycle: defending our abuser.
     
    Last edited: May 4, 2017
    AllanTheCowboy, May 4, 2017
    AllanTheCowboy, May 4, 2017
    #1
    Buzz Lightyear and hope4healing like this.
  2. May 4, 2017 #2
    Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Yes, I wonder if it is the flip side of hypocrisy. The hypocrite conceals his behavior and pretends to a virtue he does not have. The rationalizer does not conceal his behavior, but pretends his actions are not vicious but virtuous... or rather, has gone beyond these antiquated notions.

    I think this is the problem with 'sincerity'. It wanted to strip everything down to an 'honest' reality, which is often a very unpleasant place [ a lot of the 'confession' you see comes from this]. At least the hypocrite, though he is also dishonest, still entertains the possibility that there be some form of excellence towards which we can strive... however much we fall short of it.
     
    Last edited: May 5, 2017
    Buzz Lightyear, May 4, 2017
    Buzz Lightyear, May 4, 2017
    #2
    sparkywantsnoPMO and hope4healing like this.
  3. May 5, 2017 #3
    GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    As a SO we see the rationalizations as excuses. The reason for that is a rational non addicted mind a SO hears what you are saying and says that makes zero sense and is just an excuse. But viewed through the eyes of an addict it makes perfect sense. That's why we as SO often get so angry and say why can't you see that what you are saying makes no sense?
     
    GG2002, May 5, 2017
    GG2002, May 5, 2017
    #3

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