I think I came to the conclusion today that no-one takes me seriously or respects me, and I fear that this must be because I have made myself weak in all sorts of ways through masturbation. Although I had made much progress with PMO, these last months have been very hard with starting a new career in a new country, and I turned to masturbation (and sometimes chat rooms) to escape from all the problems. I know this is not a good solution, and I don't need to be reminded of this. What I would appreciate is advice for how to build myself back up into someone that people take seriously and respect, but without becoming an angry frustrated man. Thanks.
If you got a job, at least your employer took you seriously. Unless your job is a comedian. It may be your mood that tells you that you're not respected, or not respected enough. My solution would be to start respecting yourself. Giving up porn is one of the ways, but there are plenty. Do whatever is good for you, like sleeping enough, eating healthy food, resting when tired, doing workouts, etc. Respect is something you do, not just something you feel.
I respect me, but I do have some insecurities or anxieties, so I guess I don’t really respect me as much as I should?
That’s not true we alll have insecurities some are better at hiding them from others as long as you are aware of them and work on alleviating them then that’s a form of self love beating yourself up for your insecurities is counterproductive being overly negative doesn’t result in positive action it’s a waste of energy to always blame yourself for things you have no control over or when things don’t go your way self respect is picking yourself up and keep on striving on your goals and not letting outcomes define your self-esteem I’m working on this as well put awareness is the key to everything and the first important step
I am here to let you know that your conclusion is false. I know this with certainty because I read your post and take you seriously, so it can't be that no one takes you seriously. Once thing I would advise to help your situation is to read about cognitive behavior therapy. The reason I suggest this is because when you tell yourself things like NO ONE takes me seriously, you are sending a very distressing signal to your body. Your body reacts as if it is completely true, so you become anxious and depressed. When you correct your thoughts to reflect what is actually 100% true, you will feel an improvement in your emotional health. For example, instead of telling yourself that NO ONE takes you seriously because you are weak from too much masturbation, it is more accurate to tell yourself that there might be a few people who think you're weak and don't take you seriously, but most people don't know anything at all about your masturbation habits and most people aren't making strong judgments of you, good or bad. People are going to make their own assessments of others and you can't control what other people think of you. When you tell yourself that people are judging you poorly, what you are really saying is that the people around you are highly-judgmental, cold and mean people. You are in fact the one judging them negatively! Has everyone around you told you that they don't respect you or take you seriously because you are weak from masturbating? Of course not. You are mind-reading, and mind-reading is not actually possible. Again, my advise is to read up and begin to practice cognitive behavior exercises to help you think in terms of accurate reality, instead of distorted versions of reality that cause you to feel bad and victimized. You seem like a good person and I'm glad you're here trying to get help and improve your life. This is highly commendable!
Here’s another resurrection post for good thought provoking pondering. I do external searches on the various aspects of NoFap and this one got me thinking quite a bit. First off, the respect you receive from people is real and honestly it’s refreshingly unexplainable. I don’t know why it works but it does. You stop PMO and stop MO and suddenly most people are really nice to you. There are always the outliers. And I might argue that they themselves may be PMO / MO addicts. Hard to say. You can’t win them all over. Bit by bit you learn to accept the fact that life is 100% better without PMO / MO. Do NoFap and regain the confidence and respect that we all deserve.
Greetings brother. On my personal thoughts i think "it's okay to not be taken seriously or respected if that's what you intend to". On that subject i was the one funny guy, pretending to be dumber than i was to create a comfort mood in my group... AND IT WORKED FOR YEARS. I was a teenager and i had the capabilities of being perfectly reational and well mooded while pretending not to. SO THAT'S KINDA COOL. Here the problem is that you... Are in that stage and don't wanna be. The upper clarification was the statement to clarify that everyone has their own things and no one is to judge nothing. HOW TO GET BETTER? I won't say noFap = panacea... You will have to harness all the extra energy into whatever you feel like doing. Optimally productive behaviour such as hobies, learning, charity, sports... But that being the optimal case don't torment yourself if you end up having traces of previous behaviours. Worst case scenario is fapping, just evade it and happiness will eventually come. Stay strong
