Nofap with a long term girlfriend

Posted this elsewhere but didn't get much help so hopefully I get help here.

A little background then, I am 24 and have been addicted to PMO since I can remember, probably started age 10+, I got my first handjob and ever since then I loved the feeling. Growing up I used to fap to anything I could get my hands on (magazine wise) because the internet wasn't really big here, but when I got older and found the internet *porn* then it got serious, I was doing it 3-4 times a day probably, I joined the military and shared a room with 10 people but it didn't stop me going to the bathroom at 2-3am to rub one out, I done it in porto-potties while even on exercise it was that bad, I was having sex at the same time but most of it didn't satisfy what I had been watching online (some kinky stuff), I started experimenting as much as I could but sometimes it just wasn't enough but I made do, I fantasised about sex all the time, I couldn't walk down the street without thinking sexual thoughts about every women that walked past, not in a creepy way where I would stare at them up and down it was quite the opposite, it made me shy around women to the point I thought maybe they know what I am thinking, it got in my head and made me awkward around girls but again I made do, I met my partner about 4 years ago and it started out the way all my encounters with women did... sex ( I'm not confident at all, again quite the opposite I hate myself and think I am the ugliest guy in the world) so whenever women showed an interest in me I fell for it because of the lack of self-confidence, theres probably another side to why I was a bit more kinkier than the average dude (abuse when I was younger) but that isn't really relevant.

So we started dating and at first it was just sex because she lived 400 miles away where I am from but because I was based elsewhere it worked, but when we started going out it got hard because I couldn't kick the habit of having these sexual thoughts over everyone and it made it difficult to have a girlfriend because my mind would constantly wander when it came to other women ( I felt really bad for feeling like this )

We have tried basically all the kinky fantasies I have wanted to try and now part of me feels like sex is just mundane and boring because to an extent I have done it all..... but not when I watch porn, I currently watch it while she is at work and at night when she is asleep, she doesn't think I am attracted to her anymore when I am it's just I get horny when she is at work and rub one out. I still can't shake the thoughts of sleeping with other women (celebrities and what not) and it is really having a massive affect/effect *spelling was never my strongpoint* on our relationship so I wanted to quit the fapping and try get rid of the mindset I have.

I have told her sort of everything, I told her that I had/have a sex addiction and I think about the things I think about, I am going to tell her tonight about my porn addiction and try talk to her about it.

I guess I am looking for tips and if while doing Nofap can you still have sex with your SO or is it a bad idea? I don't want to live like this anymore, I wanna be happy and healthy, it is impacting my mental health too so I do want to change my ways. My therapist has explained to me that part of the reason why I am like this sexually is because when I was abused it kinda put me in a hamsters wheel of sexual thoughts, something that every teenager goes through but the issue is I never got off the hamster wheel and everyone else did.

Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading.

 

Thanks man I appreciate the help!

 

Thanks for the help man, your first comment about the hamster wheel is so true, I don't have many friends so I guess at first I thought I was alone but after reading peoples posts it has helped a lot in terms of accepting my own issues. I guess the first step is admitting that I have an addiction and working on it.

Second comment - I guess it is relevant but I didn't want to admit that, but it has shaped me as a person as much as I deny that. Yeah exactly, it isn't an excuse but it helps understand. I think the hard part is not thinking it's your fault and thinking that you caused it.
Yeah she is happy to support me through it all and give it a go. We are gonna try spend some more time together and do things too. Yeah I am gonna try read through some posts and get involved to help myself. Thanks man, you saying that means a lot tbh. I appreciate the long worded post, it means a lot again!