July 20, 2018 WARNING: I feel like the colour brown. There are all kinds of those other colourful hues like reds and blues and greens that you enjoy. I am the mix of those colours. You would think it would make me the prettiest colour around—but it doesn’t. It makes an ordinary, boring brown. Red is big fake tits, blue is a nice rotund ass, purple is all the hentai that features the sex acts that are impossible for me to do and green is those big beautiful women etc. And I’m just brown. At least the other shades can be different shades and can always be new and exciting and appealing but brown is just brown. And that’s just what I am. Brown. I’m nothing special, nothing appealing, nothing that makes me better than all the other colours of porn. And I know that I am better than porn. I am worth more than porn. But damn it’s so hard to believe that when you keep picking all those other colours over me. You said that you wanted me when you chose to date me. You said that I was the one colour you would have for life. I can’t be any colour other than brown. This is why I feel so undesirable. You used to put down [a certain type of] girls and now here you are watching the very thing that you claim to hate instead of having sex with me. What does that say about me? Now all those things that you said about them are true for me too. I am disgusting. I have let myself go. I’m on the very bottom of your sexy list. I don't deserve anyone. I shouldn't exist. Then you go ahead and say that you watch porn because it has impossible things? So what, I get to be punished for not being able to do the impossible? And what’s worse, next you said you watched it because I won’t let you fuck other girls? Get your head out of your fucking ass Ethan, its got nothing to do with me, and everything to do with you. I can’t live up to these other colours, I’m just brown. I can’t change that. But you can’t honestly say that I’m the one for you when you turn around and look at the colour pinwheel every night. You don’t really want me so why do you pretend?