Hi everyone, I want to share a problem with you that I have for almost 8 years now. Here's the story. I first came in contact with pornographic material at the age of 12 or so, have PMO-ed around once a week then, but hardly more than one orgasm per session. I was very shy during my teenage years and early twentysomethings (I'm 33 now). A friend of mine introduced me to a book of Neil Strauss, and I started hitting the gym, socialise, be self-confident etc... I had my first sex at the age of 24. However I never entirely got out of porn addiction. I remember having my last sexual intercourse in 2011, since then I never had more than oral sex as I wasn't able to keep my erection when trying to penetrate. Problems first started when I was with a girl from the neighbourhood. Foreplay was gorgeous, when it was about to come to sex my penis dropped. Same again with a girl who I had been with in a relationship. We were together for a month or so, when I first time stayed at her place overnight, again I got a boner, but then dropped again. Now I'm with this girl for about almost five years now. I met her in a student dorm, as she was an exchange student from abroad. We instantly liked each other. One night after a hard party we both landed in bed. Again my penis got really hard, when I was about to penetrate dropping again, which I thought was due to the high amount of alcohol in my blood. When she finished her studies here, she went back to her home country an we decided to give it a try, whether we could be together over a long distance or not. We had the best times together, laughing a lot and playing tricks on each other etc. Every time we were in bed though, it wasn't more than oral sex, I told her to fellate me until I come and afterwards I went down on her and used my fingers until she came. I was afraid to try and dare whether I could have sex with her or not. I was always afraid when the evening came, and we went to bed, I was secretly hoping she was too tired, or on her period. I explained her, that she wasn't the first girl with whom this happened but never admitted I watch P when she's gone. Nonetheless, she now stood four years with me and always was patient and caring, but I see that she really suffers from the situation. She now even wants to move together. I've heard of NoFap in November 17 and lasted a max of 180 days since then (interrupted during a business trip) where after a long day and a few drinks relapsed. My current streak is at sixty days, but still, when I get intimate with my girl I feel the anxiety to fail again. I appreciate everyone's stamina who still is reading to this point and hope for some advise on my situation guys. What would you do if you were in my shoes? How can I lose anxiety and completely switch off negative thoughts and just enjoy sex like any other supposed to in my age? Cheers and thank you. J.