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Newbie: A long road ahead

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by SeavirMcKenna, Dec 20, 2018.

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Is abstaining from sex for 90 days a good idea when having a girlfriend?

  1. Yes

    2 vote(s)
    50.0%

  2. No

    1 vote(s)
    25.0%

  3. It depends

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%

  4. I don't know

    1 vote(s)
    25.0%
  1. Dec 20, 2018 #1
    SeavirMcKenna

    SeavirMcKenna Fapstronaut

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    Hey all,
    So I'm a 30-year old male (from Belgium, so sorry if my English isn't 100%) and discovered NoFap about a year ago. I tried to quit a couple of times but always relapsed some time after I had sex with my girlfriend (VERY strong chaser affect). Despite that - but I'm not really sure if it's thanks to NoFap - I have found the motivation to change my life drastically. I used to be addicted to alcohol and drugs for years, was a chainsmoker, ate unhealthy, didn't do any sports.(I have bipolar disorder so I feel depressed alot, I think that explains my lifestyle)

    Some time after my first streak, about 4 months ago I quit smoking, drinking and drugs altogether, lost 12 kilos (25 pounds I think) went for a run every other day and picked up playing the guitar and creative writing. The downsides unfortunately are serious flatline periods, even more moodswings, terrible memory and concentration. My current streak is 3 days (longest is 23), and I think, to avoid the chaser effect, I should stop having sex for 90 days but I don't think my girlfriend would be very happy about it so that's still a problem... Anyone with some advise about this?

    So that's my story. Goodluck to anyone who reads (and doesn't read) this!
     
    SeavirMcKenna, Dec 20, 2018
    SeavirMcKenna, Dec 20, 2018
    #1
  2. Dec 21, 2018 #2
    Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

    6,380
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    Welcome! I'm glad you're here.

    Since you asked for advice, I will give it. I think you should abstain from sex until you are married; but if not that, then until you have really worked out your difficulties with porn, whether that's 90 days or 120 or whatever. Ninety days is not magic. There are so many other things you and your girlfriend need to discover about each other; sex gets in the way. Also, is sex the most important thing about her -- to you? Is sex the most important thing about you, to her? In my opinion, it should not be. After all, people who are together for awhile will discover that either sex isn't possible, or else that they don't want it as much. What holds them together then?
     
    Septimus, Dec 21, 2018
    Septimus, Dec 21, 2018
    #2

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