New here - need help/advice - Trigger warning!

Hey everyone. New here. I'm a 36m, happily married for 11 years now. Married to my best friend, very hot wife. The last month or so, I've had some really big issues in bed causing us both frustration.

I will be hard during foreplay or just sitting on the couch with each other, but as soon as it's time to start actual sex, I either go limp or I lose it super fast after starting. A few times lately it's just not even gotten hard enough to penetrate. It honestly sometimes just feels lifeless no matter what we try.

One time I was just playing with her trying to get it back and out of nowhere I unloaded on her, while mostly soft. We were both like what the crap is going on? I still get her off, but lately it's been mostly her because I just can't get hard.

I will admit I have seen porn since my late teens. Watched a lot during college years, then stopped. I have watched some here and there in the last year and will usually get off to it. I don't think I have a death grip or anything, but is this what's causing my issues?

I usually get hard as a rock watching the crap. I've tried stopping as I know it's horrible, but usually end up getting weak and wanting to see something.

I ordered some rings this week to try and help and see if that will help me keep an erection. I absolutely feel like a failure to her and myself, and am willing to do anything to get this under control.

Just looking for advice after reading about other guys here. Thanks everyone!

 

I'm actually halfway concerned with a doctor being the first recommendation here. I've been a lurker for a while and I don't think that's usually the first recommendation? I absolutely will go get checked if this continues. Could definitely be an underlying issue, but I feel completely fine otherwise.

I also wonder why a trigger warning was added to my post?