Need outside insight on a sex question

I can only reply with my own thoughts and how I would react to that situation based on my own life experiences. I could be WAY off.

If I invited my man into a sexy bath with intentions of playfulness I would also sit there and expect him to make the first move... this is where I know our situations are very different because I am the one who’s been wanting him and struggling with feeling desired... that’s why I’d want him to make the first move- as you would probably have wanted her to start showing interest and desire for you as that is what you’ve been missing.

If the first thing he did was go for my boobs I probably would have had no reaction as well. Inside I’d actually be upset. He loved big boob porn and I’d assume right away that he was objectifying me. I’d rather he kissed me passionately and rubbed and kissed other parts of my body- neck, shoulders etc. That would make me feel desired... where going for my tits repels me as it feels like he’s playing with them for his own fun and imagining porn.
That’s the thing about desire- we all have our own definitions of what we need to feel wanted. Perhaps she also felt objectified and that’s why she said “ you were fondling me wasn’t that good for you?”
I understand your frustration my boyfriend and I had a big talk about how I am frustrated that sex means that as soon as he is finished sex is over leaving me unsatisfied. Unfortunately I take forever to O but once I brought it to his attention and asked him how he’d feel if our sex life meant that I would O in a couple mins and jump off leaving him frustrated. How he would feel? he has done a complete 180. I was nervous talking to him about it but he’s been AMAZING with making sure I finish before him. I explained that for me desire means that he wants to make me finish it means that he is in the moment with me enjoying pleasing me. Desire for me does not mean he wants to have sex with me solely for his O- that makes me feel like a masturbation tool. What I’m trying to get to is that you sound a lot like me and are struggling with feeling desired by the one you love.

I’d suggest communicating how you feel. Become vulnerable. I have a difficult time talking so I wrote everything down. Best of luck