Need advice to see PM will work in my issue

My suggestion? Quit P and M. Looks matter very little, it is just something pretty to look at. In a long term relationship it is personality and connection that matter. You really need to stop comparing your gf to other women if you want to be happy. Nobody can be perfect and if you keep comparing her to others you are hurting both of you and you will end up tearing her self esteem into nothing. Porn has warped your mind into what beauty is and what it should be. Looks also won't make the sex better. The hottest person in the world could be horrible in bed. I'll be honest here. When I met my bf his appearance didn't match my ideal. But we got along well and had a lot in common. I find him very sexy, it is his kindness and our love. Who he is, is very attractive. I would never trade that in for someone who 'is a 10'(sorry, I really hate that kind thing, rating people on looks. It is so shallow. People are more than just appearance)
PM is also likely the reason for your difficulty in O with your gf. You've trained yourself to O with a hand, not with real sex. My bf suffers from DE and had a very hard time O with sex. It is getting better with time and NO p or m at all. He says it is better too. If he can not finish we just try again later.

 

I am quite new to this so my answer might not help.
But my point of view changed when i saw a film about Pornstars at work and how they live and look in real life.
To be honest after that i watched a lot af amateur porn and it took a lot of time till now.
But trust me a real girl that loves you and cares about you is always way hotter than all the girls doing porn.
And to look at other girls and thinking about dirty stuff is quite normal i guess.

 

I'm not sure it's 'normal'. Maybe for a single guy or a PA. A lot of the recovering PA here do not let themselves do these things. I don't think it is healthy to lust after other people while you are in a serious relationship.

 

I think i understood it wrong. To look at a girl or woman who is atractive to you is not wrong in my opinion. The thing is how extrem your thoughts are. If it is just a "she looks hot" i guess it is not a big deal. To assosiate a porn scene or stuff like that is wrong that is right. And if you see a girl and you can not think of anything else like sex or porn is an issue I don't have but if that is the point i guess it is a hugh issue wich I hope will be better after avoiding porn and masturbation.

 

Hello!

It's nice you're thinking about getting clean - it really helps not only with sex, but with other parts of relationship and life in general. Porn is such an energy sucker!

If you would be with the hottest girl imaginable you would still look around and have similar problems - that's just our stupid mind, always comparing, always unhappy. That is not good nor wise way to go man.

Take care and stay strong!

 

Welcome! Trust me, this will be difficult, but it will be worth it.

 

Hello. I’m female and a bit older than you, my ex had PIED but I’ve also dated a lot and remember your age and my first love.

First it truly makes me sad that you discovered porn so young. Because you have never known a relationship porn or pmo free. Your tastes and desires have developed based on porn. Many men who are pmo addicts find their sexual tastes are actually very different than they thought they were. Porn shapes your mind and the younger you start the worse it is. For this reason alone you need to stop. Not for your relationship not for your gf but for you. You are still going. You have a great life ahead of you. Kick this now or read about how the addicts oh here much older than you have had their lives ruined and their spouses by porn.

Next pmo addiction is not about sex or attraction. It’s about a dopamine high just like other drugs. Just replace it with say cocaine or oxy. Think about this next time you have the urge to pmo. Are you physically stimulated. Before you turn on the porn is your body physically stimulated? Or rather are you sad, bored, anxious, depressed, or just looking to feel better. Men today MO 50% more than they did before online porn. People pmo for the same reasons they use drugs. Underlying mental illness, lack of coping mechanisms, low self esteem, abuse etc. it feel the same role. And just like drugs you have to keep increasing the dose. So you are always going to be looking for a prettier girl, a better body, more extreme things. You could have the perfect woman that you created to a T and you would bore with her. Looking at other attractive people is normal we all do it. But your body is looking for that dopamine hit and that’s why you do it more. Yes studies show that men who view porn cheat more but porn addicts do to up the ante.

Third you do not mention how your sex life is with your gf. Do you have ED does she enjoy it? Do you care if she enjoys it? If you don’t have PIED now you likeliy will give it time.

If you want to quit and stay in the relationship then you need to be 100 percent open and honest and ask for her help. You will not succeed if you don’t. Never seen a guy on here who has. Sex? That’s individual to every addict. Some addicts find it causes relapse. If that’s you do hard mode. Or if you have it make her your only source of O don’t use your hand at all even in sex. She may leave you if you tell her but give her that right to leave. For your own recovery you need honesty. And she likely already feels you are not attracted to her. Reverse what you are saying and see how you would feel if she said it about you? “ I wish he had bigger muscles, was taller, had better hair. He’s not my type. I don’t like the shape of his butt. I am constantly looking at other men wanting to have sex with them.” How do you feel?

The reality here is this. You are young, you have only been in one relationship. Is it normal to wonder what’s out there? Yep. Is it normal to wonder what sex with another partner would be like? Absolutely. In your case does that mean you are not supposed to be with your gf or rather is it a result of your pmo? That I don’t know no one can until you stop pmo and for life.

 

I dont think that's your personal logic, i think that's P's personal logic.