My religion is also trigger

I agree with your assessment that it would be unwise to rush into marriage in the hopes that it would solve all your problems.

Your outlook that you will be a virgin for 10 years seems pessimistic. Even if you were not to have sex outside of marriage, it need not take that long to get yourself together and attract a wife.

Is this something that would be worth discussing with your local congregation leader?

 

Do NOT get married to solve your problem. Period. Period.

If you are that committed to your religion, then you have to seek professional help.

 

You should know that getting married DOES NOT heal you from your addiction. It actaully complicates things, because the only way to get rid of your addiction is to stop PMO and sex with your wife (even if you do it only purely out of love and that's extremely difficult) really slows down the healing process. An addict has to stop masturbating and having an orgasm for a very long time (90 days challenge is a good beginning). Try telling your wife that you can't have sex with her yet. How does that sound?

It comes from a guy who got married while still being addicted. I know firsthand that being married doesn't help. If you really have to have sex with your life (e.g. because you want to have kids), it only slows down the process of healing. And making the agony of being an addict sucks. Believe me.

Stay strong and refrain from PMO. Make a proper plan. Take care!

 

Hey man, can you elaborate on how having sex with your wife slows down the process of healing? I have a girlfriend who I go to third base with. I relapsed into a few months into our relationship after being semi clean for a year. I'm not sure if doing stuff with her is helping or hurting.

 

try to think of stuff that annoys you about women. youll realize quitting a religion you made effort to get into,for those people,is a bad business. theyre literally hairless apes like you and I. made from the clay of the earth...dont worship the countenace or form of any women

 

Don't quit your religion, however, you may have special needs that the majority of others in your church (I guess y'all call it a mosque) don't have. For this reason you may want to go to male only services or watch male only videos about your religion. Also, it may be beneficial for you to meet with a sex counselor that is affiliated with your religion. You have spiritual needs that your religion can help but you also have mental needs that a professional counselor may help with. Just make sure you find a counselor that respects your religion, and ideally, shares your religion.

If you are commiting to a 90 day no PMO, make a point to not even consider, don't even start thinking about your triggers or any lustful topics. That's like an alcoholic sniffing alcohol while trying to be sober. Don't tempt yourself, life will already tempt you enough.

 

Im sorry to hear that bu according to Islam theres couple things that you can do

First,, fasting do the fasting like monday and thursday man it really help with the mind

Second is to lower your gaze,, its hard man i knew but thr moment that u lower ur gaze u will have less urge

Third is have a purpose and workin on it

 

Salam brother.
I am also a muslim, welcome to Islam.may God bless you and guide you well.
You are doing good by reading our holy book but obviously it is a journey and you have just started so yeah there will be ups and downs along the way.
Don't expect perfection but progression

Same here I know it makes the addiction 100 times worse esp anxious because you can't solve an unknown variable ( ie future) .
What helped me :

1) your addiction is just escapism from the mental health.
And your should realize even after escaping for a short while the problem remains your anxiety remains in fact this addiction makes anxiety worse by attacking dopamine receptors

So using pmo as escape is no good.

Deal with issues of past, resolve unresolved trauma, get closer, see your past as learning experience etc etc

Indeed what is to come would be better than what is gone by - quran

Future has not happened yet so why worry about the things that you don't know, no matter how much your mind tries to solve this unknown variable in your life, you still can't predict and your future still cannot be the catastrophic thing that is causing you anxiety
Go with the flow.
Easier said than done but have trust on God
Read about tawakul
May God make it easy for you

Listen to overcoming pornography podcast on Spotify. It is much beneficial

Yeah this things compliment each other you have to treat both separately
Been there, done that,
Very hard, takes time but eventually you will come out of it

Not all muslim women were hijab even though it is mandatory , majority don't

Marriage will make things worst

You don't know future so stop making negative assumptions about it like being virgin for 10 years, maybe you will find your love in next year maybe 6 months you never know so assume best
The more you think of sex, the more it bothers you, just distract yourself.
It is your decision you life,
You can be a muslim and not perfect yet and it is okay, allah is full of mercy he knows our struggles.
Take to a religious counselor if u want to continue even if you don't it is completely okay.

You will be free one day hopefully

 

I find it interesting you would quit islam to pursue women, that is not how religion works my friend. I would argue your heart was never in it to begin with if you would just up and quit it, but then again I am a Christian and do not believe in other religions.