my girlfriend is the trigger

glad,u r being very courageous.

 

Welcome. Glad you are here.

Take some time to read the reboot material (available here => http://www.nofap.com/getting-started) and come up with a plan for what you will do when you are faced with urges. It has good advice, so don't skip it!

Perhaps start writing a journal - if you feel comfortable telling people about happened and what's going on now, you will start to feel accountable to them. You may even inspire others. It's a nice feeling! This will help your recovery.

Also, try to add something into your life that makes you the kind of person who doesn't engage in PMO. Think about doing:
Something you enjoy
Something you're good at
Something important
Something for somebody else, without thought of reward (and if you DO get an unintended reward, do something ELSE, perhaps for a different person or group).

Read the journals of others - we all learn from each other. For example, I received the above good advice from a far more experienced member of the community who shared his knowledge. Don't just stay within your own age group or part of the world. Share your knowledge in a respectful way. Read, learn, apply.

Look around the forums, get to know people. Everyone is friendly, and will try to support you. We're all in the same boat here.

Be kind to others and others will be kind to you, both here and IRL.

I wish you a successful reboot.

 

There's a book called No More Mr Nice Guy that might help you.

The book is also not a nice guy. The author punches you in the face and then tells you to get up and take responsibility for everything that's happening in your life and then take control of it.

 

Give yourself the gift of a reboot. After 90 days, in combination with other steps you'll take, you should figure out more about the man you are, the man you're coming, and what you want.

There is nothing to lose by doing it, and you know you want to do it because you're already here.

In three months time, you'll thank yourself - trust me.

 

She treats you like crap and isn't having sex with you. Why do you think she is still your girlfriend?

 

That's not a healthy relationship IMO. Not that I'm any sort of expert.

 

Hey @kizito2nv ,

I'm just a normal ordinary member. No moderator super powers and no special insite. I share my ESH (Experience, Strength and Hope) of what works for me.

Just another warm welcome and a heart felt hello. This community has helped me so much.

What worked for me was "working" it. It took hard work for me to complete a hard reboot (No pmo) for 120 days, then move into a Sex Positive mode.

First, reading the literature published by NoFap itself along with reading journals.

Then, doing the work. Writing in my journal and replying to introductions and other's journals.

Finally, but not least, getting involved with the fellowship. I found it on the forums, but also in people's profiles. The forums tend to be longer posts, where the profiles tend to be more "conversational".

That is what has worked for me. I like to remind myself that this community was here waiting for me with the lights on when I arrived. Now, I have to do my best to be there when someone comes to the community.

---

One of the ways I got involved with the fellowship was by reading some really great journals. Reading other's stories with their victories and even defeats is a big part of my program.

Here are just a few journals to start with, you'll find more I'm sure:


@Tomoya Okazaki - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143534/
---
@Fortitudo - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/144228/
---
@Dragonnlife - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/136148/
---
@weddingnails - https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/155372/

---

I've found that the bricks that hold this community together are cemented with the support of the members of the fellowship.

@Rising Sun !!
@Ready to be healthy
@Brahmacharin
@tet2vd
@Satchi
@BigDawg913
@zakes
@LilD
@kropo82

So, if you would have found more profiles yourself, why suggest these particular ones as a start? Those relationships started with just saying hello. So, my ESH is that saying hello has kept the fellowship alive for myself.

Looking forward to your success and in seeing you say hello on these profiles,

--> L