My fetish is my only sexuality, how can I get rid of it?

I have a very big squashing/facesitting fetish (being used like a chair) and a fat fetish. Both of these fetishes often go hand in hand from what I've read so yes, I get turned on by the thought of overweight women sitting on me, as gross this may sound, it's true. These fetishes probably started when I was in kindergarden. I saw my obese kindergarden teacher literally sit on a child and I think that this particular image has made me develop those fetishes.
I discovered porn very early, I was around 11 or 12 at the time I discovered porn and I remember looking up "big woman", "big sexy woman" on google. After watching all sorts of straight squashing porn (like literally EVERY available squashing content), I realized that I couldn't just watch the same videos over and over.

I don't remember when exactly I switched over to gay squashing porn but I found myself watching gay squashing porn at around 18 or so, can't really remember. Straight porn wasn't just doing it for me and I seeked for newer content. As time has passed, my fat fetish also got worse, now I was looking for videos of men or women 350lb+ squashing others. I even joined gay sites dedicated to overweight gay men just to chat about my fetish, but never have I ever wanted to meet up with them. I feel like I was just objectiying those men but yeah.

Funny thing that I realized is that my fetish is non-gender specific, like I'd get aroused watching fat woman sitting on men, men on men, men on women or women on women, like I am all about the pressure applied on the person that is getting squashed. But like I mentioned, my I feel like my brain is seeking newer content and I often find myself looking at fat guys on the streets and I think to myself how awesome it must feel being sat on by him. This caused a lot of HOCD to happen, but then I purposely watch a straight squashing video where a big woman sits on a man just to assure that I am not gay and yes I get stiff.

As a child growing up I rember purposely laying on the ground in hopes that my fat friends would sit on me, or whenever we used to wrestle, I fell down on purpose just to get squashed. Never have I ever had any homosexual intentions or thoughts of having sex with a man, and honestly, I think it is pretty gross and it makes me uncomfortable. Like I don't see myself as gay (I have nothing against gay people!).

If you were to ask me the question whether or not I could imagine myself having sexual intercouse with a man, I'd say hell no but whenever I see a fat man and combine it with the thought of getting squashed by him, I get a boner. When I was younger I used to fantasize about a friends mother since she was really overweight and these thoughts would arouse me.

But my fetish is so bad, that I find myself only attracted to fat people (in terms of my fetish), theres no romantic attraction involved and I literally am just objectiyifng all those people as sad this may sound but I just cant help it.

What do I want in life? I want to get attracted to average sized women because my fetish is so unhealthy and grosses me out sometimes. I want to have sex but all I get turned on by is my fetish and I want children. I want a happy marriage.

My questions are: Would you guys say that I'm gay? Bi? What the fuck am I? How do I identify myself If all I get turned on by is a fetish? Wth am I supposed to do? I haven't watched porn in over a month and I hope my fetish will get weaker.

 

Yes I have had feelings towards women. I don't know if I am forcing myself to have feelings ( if that makes sense) but I remember one time she responded to my IG story and I was so happy I can't explain. I get emotional feeling about her and I fantasize about her being my woman and having kids with her and all that. More like romantic attraction but I don't feel any sexual attraction towards anything besides my squash fetish