Masturbation without Porn

Little background:
I am 23 years old and in a very happy relationship for almost 6 years now.
My only problem is I only see her on weekends.
So we want to have as much sex as possible on the weekends.
And during the week, mostly on Thursdays, I get more or less strong urges due to the chaser effect.

Some people say, urges are like waves, they build up and crash down. For me urges are like the tide. They rise until I drown. Of course keeping busy helps and I can push these urges away for some time. But they always come back with a vengeance.
And tbh, I don´t know how to deal with it. If I had a concrete goal (like getting through the next 5 hours and the urge will go away), this would be way easier for me.
But I feel like the more I try to fight my urges, the harder they fight back.
The only thing my brain knows how the urge goes away is to masturbate.
But here´s the problem:
For me porn and masturbation are so linked in my brain, that I can not have one without the other. In the last 8 years the times I´ve masturbated without porn can probably be counted with two hands.
Quite frankly, masturbation does not feel all that good (compared to sex), but still way better than masturbation with porn.
The advantages are:
- No edging for hours. When I masturbate without porn it takes me usually 10 to 15 minutes, whereas with porn it can be 2 to 3 hours.
- No guilt, shame, remorse afterwards.
- I actually get to use my fantasy (I don´t fantasise about porn during masturbation though)
- I have way less desire to masturbate without porn, so I don´t think this would be a compulsion for me.


One possible solution would be trying karezza, but honestly I think it is kind of like edging to porn (correct me if I´m wrong). Not having an O during sex only increases my desire (at least short term).

So what I thought about was blocking my internet completely on trigger days. I´ve tried this in the past and it worked, but that would be a short term solution. But what if the urge really does not go away?
Do you think it would be a good idea to try and masturbate without porn? Like a maximum of once per week, if at all?
Of course, this is not a long term solution, too, but I am tired of relapsing to porn. I´ve never learned how to masturbate without porn. So whenever I masturbate, I need porn to do so. And the few times I did it without porn it actually worked in decreasing my urges, without any (obvious) side effects.

Anybody here who has the same problem that they can not masturbate without porn?
Or has made any experiences with overcoming this problem?
Or has actually tried the suggested approach?
Or has a long distance relationship as well?
Or has any other thoughts or opinions to share?

Oh and also move this thread if it does not belong into this category.

 

Thanks for all your replies.

Thing is I don´t really want to schedule it. It should be some kind of last resort for me. I mean there are some weeks I get through more or less fine. So there is no need for MO.

I did. She said I would have to get through the times of no sex for when she was not there. She is kind of right with that one.
Ultimately it´s none of her business and she also knows that. And I also know that she supports me with everything I do.

I relapse.

Simple as that. Tried this so many times. It has gotten better the past few months but still far from perfect. It is still 2 to 4 times a month. And I am only satisfied when this number hits 0. That´s why I am looking for opinion from you guys.

This is actually a very good idea.

Well I just can not imagine this happening to me. Because like I said I am not used to masturbating without porn and have only done it successful very few times in my life.
Of course I would not want this to become a habit, but it would take a long time to become a habit, if ever.

Yeah that´s also one of my concerns.

Yeah... Well... No.
Not gonna happen.
At least not until we miraculously figure out that karezza thing.

I know that she would not care if I did. As long as I have enough desire for her, she is completely happy. The only times she gets really sad is when I tell her I relapsed again. Which I will have to do sadly :/

 

Yeah I have more desire for intimacy since starting my reboot anyway.
My problem is not that I my brain is not "wired" to her properly.
I have never chosen porn over her.
It is just that I used porn as a substitute for whenever she is not there.

So if karezza is just for developing intimacy between partners, I don´t think this is going to help in any way.
I am fully satisfied with the level of intimacy when having sex and (while I can not speak for her) I am absolutely sure she is as well.

I am just looking for a way to decrease my urges during the week or for a way to not use porn as a substitute for her. Because it is the worst substitute ever. But my lizard brain, as phuck porn accurately called it, only knows this one substitute.
So I kinda wanted to know if I should switch to a better substitute (M without P, which would be the easy way) or don´t substitute her at all (which would be the hard way)

 

Like I said, I don´t fantasise to porn. But I relapse to porn. That is the problem. Then these images are stuck in my head for days. And the shame and guilt make me crave it even more.
And the constant relapses are deepening my neural connections to porn.
And that is precisely why I am still addicted.

Don´t get me wrong, but I get really mad when people here are saying something along the lines of "Well just stop watching porn". Yeah right. If it was that easy I would have done it by now.
I need to do something different. I need solutions.
Because I´ve tried the same things for the past 1 1/2 years.
And I always failed.
At least this would be something new.

Do you think I don´t know all of this?
Of course you are right. Sex feels better, when I didn't PMO. Does that stop me from relapsing? No.
If I am to relapse, I sure as hell would want it to be without porn.

Oh and I don´t have any delusions. I know myself pretty well. And I know that if i keep on trying the same things over and over, I will fail over and over. Just like I always do.

 

Oh and I don´t think I will ever enjoy M. And what is keeping my brain in chains is P. Not M. M would be a tool to break the chains of P. For me it would be just a means to an end. The end of my porn addiction, to be precise.

Like I said I in this cycle where I relapse to porn, which makes my urges grow even more. And I just need something to break it.
So if you have any other suggestions, please share.
But if you are just telling me what does not work in your opinion, that does not help in any way. Because I know too many things that don´t work myself.