Making changes

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Curious Josh, Jun 18, 2018.

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  1. Curious Josh

    Curious Josh Fapstronaut

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    Greetings all,
    As the title suggests I'm trying to take back control. I've been clean for 2 days and counting.
    II' 23 and I started PMO in my early teens and enjoyed it since leading to not so fast PE and constant seek for dopamine. I did it less frequently since around college and starting work.

    However, I've been doing it edging recently on a daily basis as I read somewhere it helps with penis enlargement as I'm an average 5" guy. I've tried the pump which wasn't really as enjoyable and awkward to carry around to no success.

    Having read some posts on nofap, I found that edging also introduces it's own negative side effects which I can conclude porn addiction and dopamine seeking, leaving me in a constant state of brain fog before and after PMO. I originally tried just PM without orgasm but it seems it doesn't really solve anything?

    I'll keep doing more research, and I'd rather have my head back than gain and inch or two.

    Looking forward to starting this journey with yall. I would also like advice as to whether sex with women counts as fap ?
     
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  2. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

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    Welcome, I'm glad you're here.

    The idea most people here tend to have is that rebooting works best if you give yourself a complete break from all sexual stimulation. That would be the reason to abstain from sex.

    As far as enlarging your penis -- I am extremely skeptical that abstaining from porn and masturbation is going to have that effect. I think there are other good reasons for getting porn out of your life, but I won't give you any false hope about it.

    I hope you keep coming back!
     
    Curious Josh likes this.
  3. Hi. Welcome to forum!

    No, sex does not count as fap. "Fap" is a slang term for "masturbate". But the stricter reboot the faster healing will go. So if you avoid intentional ejaculations, orgasms and all types of sexual stimulation then you will see more faster results.

    Make sure you create a personal journal thread in Reboot Logs section and blog there on a regular basis. As well as just generally be active participant in various forum discussions. I recommend this to everybody new here because it's the major thing that helped me when I was first starting. Just lurking on forums, reading and learning is great. But it usually is so much more powerful to engage. It helps to keep us motivated and accountable when we are active part of community. And keeps this in front of our minds so we don't forget about importance of it and slip away in our old habits. Sharing is also therapeutic. This is a major reason why AA meetings work so good. But that was developed before internet era. These days we can get most of the same benefits online through communities like this. So don't underestimate the power of active participation.

    I would also like to suggest you to look into mindfulness meditation. It has helped me personally tremendously to learn how to deal with urges and triggers. It takes a while to get good at it and notice results, so you need to be consistent with it, but once you do it's very powerful. It has been used by sages for thousands of years to deal with various issues of the mind. And in recent decades the science is also catching up to what ancient sages have know for centuries. Meditation these days are widely used as very effective tool by psychologists for treating addiction and by neurologists for supporting recovery of the brain after physical injury. Plus it is generally a great exercise for the brain the same way as jogging is great exercise for the body.

    You gotta make sure it is proper mindfulness meditation though. "Mindfulness" meditation where we just focus on breath is more like a concentration meditation instead. It works too but differently and not as powerfully in my experience. Real mindfulness meditation however trains you to accept your urges by understanding the nature of them by observing them, not just suppress them by concentrating on something else instead. It makes you comfortable with them. And once you accept and become comfortable with them there is no need to get rid of them, so there is no need to PMO. Only reason why we PMO is because that urge, that itch in our crotch is uncomfortable, we wanna get rid of it. And then after PMO we have our release. Or we simply want pleasure. And inability to have that pleasure makes us uncomfortable. But if we accept that we can not have pleasure then resistance is gone and there is no reason to PMO.

    Acceptance and mindfulness is the key. Check out this Ted talk on acceptance and mindfulness practice, it gives a good idea of what's it's about when it comes to philosophy. The mindfulness practice as described by psychologist in a the video can be used by itself but ideally should be used as supplementation to your daily sitting meditation. Sitting meditation I personally practice and recommend to people is as explained by meditation expert in this YouTube playlist. If you don't like the monk or want other method there is this awesome smartphone app called Headspace for guided meditations.

    Wish you lot's of strength and success in your reboot journey!
     
  4. Curious Josh

    Curious Josh Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the welcome and kick-start guidance (no orgasm noted). I have noticed some serious withdrawal which I will put in my logs as suggested. But on the plus I noticed my thought clarity has been sharper than ever for a while and even simple memory recall so I'm really positive about this.

    I love the ted talk and i think i will go with monk method. Always thought there was a reason these guys have been doing it for all those centuries. Thanks again for the suggestions. I will be lurking around!
     
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