I’m now 38 days porn free and 24 days without MO. In this time I’ve definitely noticed that overall my mental focus / obsession levels with certain kinks that I was very into before have gone down. But I’ve also noticed in recent days some that I thought were perhaps only porn induced were coming back in my head again. this begs the question for me as to whether they’re really porn induced and this is my brain trying to battle the declining dopamine by thinking about it, OR if they’re not actually induced by porn and instead are things that I’m into regardless of whether I watch it on a screen. Specifically it’s been interests in chastity play with my spouse, which we’ve done before to mixed outcomes. I’m not looking to jump back into that kink right now, but I’m curious if others found ebbs and flows with these types of desires during their reboot? I’m not at all interested in giving up BDSM as I enjoy it a lot, but I don’t want it to lead to unhealthy levels of porn consumption or affect the ability to have “vanilla” intimacy with my partner either.
People have kinks. Some people are here because they don't like the type of porn they're into, or because they might be attracted to the same sex. Porn isn't always the reason for these things, and having a kink is not inherently unhealthy or wrong. Have a conversation with your spouse and lay it out. I still want to do X, but I'm afraid it may lead to Y, which is something I don't want to go back to.
yeah I totally get that and I’m not personally uncomfortable with or ashamed of my kinks anymore, I’ve done a lot of work with that. I used to think my same sex attraction was only porn related but I know from direct experience that it’s not, porn was just how I happened to realize I liked both men and women in different ways. Ditto with a lot of BDSM stuff. I was just more curious about how linear people had found their recoveries and whether they’d experienced similar things about interests dropping off and then showing up again. ultimately the idea that being into any specific kink would lead to one unable to perform in other more conventional ways sexually is a psychological problem I need to work on overcoming.
