Today you told me why you watched porn. You told me you watched porn because you wanted variety. You told me you watched porn because you were insatiable. You told me you wanted what you didn’t have. What I didn’t have. You told me you were not satisfied. Not satisfied with me. I didn’t satisfy you, visually. I heard what I lacked. I heard all the ways that I was not enough. Today the smallest part of what was left in me died. Today I feel dead. 46 days ago, I discovered your lies and secrets about porn and today is the first day that I have tears rolling down my face and today I cannot stop them. For 2.5 years, for our entire relationship, you secretly edged 3-4 times a week sometimes more and used my body to achieve an orgasm. You used me. I feel dirty. Today is the first day that I do not want to see your face.