Is willpower useless? (Quitting cold turkey)

It's not useless, but its not the optimal path to take. I'm 5 years clean and while I did willpower my way to the point where urges weren't a thing, it was improvements in my life that made it not be a grueling fight anymore. Also prior to that I did essentially taper off of it since I stopped abiding by the counting idea so I spent around a year going from everyday to every few to once a week etc. Didn't taper as a choice. I simply didn't give a shit about streaks & focused on each day on its own which led to gradual progress and eventually a full stop.

 

I like the idea of not going by a day counter & focusing on the present day. You've probably already written about this but would you mind expanding on "improvements in your life" that helped you overcome? Inspiring story & congrats on 5 years man

 

It's all about context. When you're alone at home and have no access, let alone be inclined to reach out to anyone all you have is willpower. It's essentially a short term .. I can't call it a strategy, but it has it's place - and it's a fairly small one.

I think that's a different question from quitting cold turkey, if we define cold turkey as simply continuous abstinence. You can have all kinds of support and have continuous abstinence of whatever length. But if you understand cold turkey as just trying to do it all yourself, total abstinence from an arbitrary point in time with no support system at all then your chances are not good.

Actually, the internet itself and even subtler, cultural collective patterns of thinking is like a supportive network, and is in that sense a context. Unfortunately the mainstream culture largely works against us in many ways so it's supporting something, but not your effort to quit. And personally I've found the, shall we say ready-made recovery networks a bit wanting and not necessarily very sophisticated but I think there's also a time and place there and a lot of people can get something out of it.

The basic question is what in the collective context can you use to your advantage? When I say support system I don't just mean a social one where you have people on a list or something, even though that's a part of it. But if there's a system there's a matter of understanding and a matter of details. I think if you can get a good number of people together and actually think systematically, not repeat stuff from a program (and not even relate to it as a program) but actually understand how a program in the general sense of the word works, that's where the rubber meets the road. When there's no interest in a systematic approach it tends to be a matter of show and tell only. Abstinence is a general condition, including abstaining from internet access but that's not really a systematic understanding of anything and not the only variable. It would be a bit like only ever thinking about fasting when you're working on your diet. Yeah there's intermittent fasting and stuff, but the content of your diet and other specifics are important. And while some things are ultimately possible to abstain from indefinitely, maybe the better question is what are things you can't abstain from, and what are the details of working with those things? It's way too tunnel vision to look at abstaining from the bad stuff or the one bad thing you are trying to quit, and that approach ignores context.

 

Everything's in here:
https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/✊5-years-clean-from-pmo-heres-what-worked-for-me-✊.343906/

 

Partially worthless, partially helpful.

Better to have some techniques to avoid strong urges coming in the first place. When a strong urge comes and you are overcome by lust, it is harder to escape from

 

Awesome thanks for sharing your story and pathway. And congrats again man that's a great accomplishment))

 

Willpower is crucial, you must learn to utilize for recovery, but it is not the whole story.

A massive thing is shaping your environment. Build your life to remove as many triggers as is feasible for your situation. As you have done. At some point though, at least if you want a somewhat normal life, it can be useful to introduce yourself to some stimulus, that way you can learn to control yourself even when it's technically there. I had 4 months of sobriety when I cut everything out, no screens and a super dumb-phone(the barely could receive pictures, no internet) Once I reintroduced screens though, I was quick back to my old ways. Felt like I hadn't learned anything despite the time clean.

Now I've set up a situation where I am mostly blocked, but technically have unfettered access if I need it. It's taken some time to get it arranged and my habits built in addition to my new environment, but so far it has been working, and I feel like I am actually building the mental pathways to deal with triggers, how deal with the choices that could lead to acting out and turn to choices that keep me sober.