Is stopping enough?

I found out about my husband's addiction this past January. After confronting him he said it's an addiction, and later admitted that he said it was an addiction as a band aid (I guess for sympathy points?). It wasn't until he experienced ED in April that he began to take things seriously, and by seriously I mean more open to discuss and realized just how much porn has affected him, but all talks were prompted by me.

I have questions, lots of questions (9 years in the dark). Some of my questions have been answered, some of them have been answered with "I don't know". While I'm aware that he may not have clear answers or some things may not make much sense, I desire for him to dig further which he has minimal interest in. Not too long ago I posted to ask for worksheets, something my husband claimed he was willing to do (as well as journaling, his idea). Turns out that was lip service. He doesn't think that will help because he desires to move forward. He says he has stopped, his urges are gone, and he just wants to focus on what is ahead. Don't get me wrong, I'd love for that to be our direction, but this all feels like it's being tossed to the wayside.

I don't care to keep tabs on him therefore I don't, but I want open communication and preferably by his initiation (I absolutely hate bringing this up, I do NOT enjoy pestering or feeling as if I am). I feel as though this problem has came and went, and I'm not satisfied with that. Is that sick of me to want to continue to talk about this? I just don't understand it, I need a better understanding.

 

Absolutely.

 

I presented ED more dramatic than it was. It happened once. After that he began to talk, and read about PIED. He began a different approach to sex, more emotional. I wouldn't say sex prior to this discovery was bad or that he was selfish, but I've noticed a difference in his approach. I honestly don't think he's using anymore, but then again I don't really care. That probably makes me sound bad, but those are my feelings. My desire to communicate is to understand the why and to sort through problems so he isn't relying on unhealthy methods to get him by. My husband, before we met, was into meth and other drugs which I'm positive he is no longer using (regular hair follicle testing for work). While porn and masturbation has robbed our marriage of a lot, I view it as just another drug to escape reality or to simply just not deal. I'm here with him to work through it, but I want to actually work through it.