is paying for sex harmful ?

I don't think hiring someone for sex is going to help you recover at all, and I actually think it has potential to make your addiction even worse. As porn addicts, we have a hard time distinguishing between the desire for sexual stimulation or sexual pleasure and the desire for sexual bond with someone. Let me draw it out for you:

• Sexual stimulation is all about dopamine. It's about feeling a high in your brain. It's about making you feel good. It's not very deep, and it's easy to accomplish (hell, you can do it with your hand).
• Sexual bonding is all about connections with people you care about. It's about love, affection, emotional intimacy, spiritual intimacy, knowing another person on a deep level, and trust. Feeling good is usually a consequence of sexual bonding, but it isn't the end goal. It's a very deep connection that happens between two people who have nurtured and cared for their relationship. It doesn't come by every day, and it takes a lot of effort from both people.

I think you need to ask yourself what you are searching for when you decide to hire someone for sex? Are you seeking sexual stimulation, or are you seeking sexual bonding? I can almost guarantee it's the former. You are essentially using another person's body as a masturbation device. It's all about getting that dopamine high and making yourself feel good. It's highly unlikely that you care about a hired sex partner the same way that you would care about a loving friend or family member. It's unlikely that you would be in love with a hired sex partner, feel affectionate towards them, develop any kind of emotional intimacy, spiritual intimacy, or get to know them on a deep level. It's unlikely that you would trust a hired sex partner the same way you would trust someone you had been dating and spending lots of time with for several months.

I actually think it's incredibly unhealthy for you. It will further blur the lines between sexual stimulation and a meaningful sexual relationship in your mind. If you really want to have a healthy sex life, I think you're probably going to need to develop a meaningful relationship with someone first.

 

Yes, you're understanding me correctly. One night stands or random hookups aren't going to do anything good for you. The one benefit one-night stands or hookups have over paid sex is that they actually have the potential to grow into meaningful relationships... but I wouldn't bank on that.

Again, I think you need to ask yourself what the motivation is when you're doing it. Are you seeking out a one-night stand because you want to feel good and because you want to experience sexual stimulation? Or are you doing it in hopes of meeting someone you might develop a deep and meaningful relationship with? It sounds to me like it's for the former reason...

 

Its up to you. People think escorts are a coping mechanism but Its fun too. Isn't every pass time a coping mechanism. Its to not be bored. You wouldn't say golf was a coping mechanism would you?
You're only gonna live once. If you wanna do it do it.

 

Yeah, it eats into your pockets. Imagine if kangoroos did it. They would bleed to death.

 

Dude.
Diamonds are forever. But so is herpes.

 

Did you actually just compare hiring a prostitute to playing golf?

 

I agree that golf and prostitution are both about amusing yourself, but that's not the relevant detail about those two activities that we're discussing here. You asked in your OP whether or not prostitution is healthy, so that's what's relevant here. Golf is a healthy activity. It requires practice, patience, steadiness, and determination. It's for amusement, and it's a pleasurable activity for those who enjoy it, but it's not damaging to your sexual health in any way. Prostitution is also amusing, but it's not healthy. We're not comparing different activities based on whether they're amusing or not. We're comparing different activities based on how healthy they are.

Of course I believe that. I wasn't arguing that people don't have sex outside of relationships. I was just saying that I don't think it's going to aid you in your recovery from your addiction and that I don't think it's a very healthy thing to do overall.

Look, man. There's a difference between saying something is immoral and saying something is unhealthy. When I say that prostitution isn't good for you, I'm not saying that it's wrong to do it morally. My assertion that prostitution is bad for you as a porn addict and that it isn't going to aid you in your recovery doesn't necessarily mean that I think hiring a prostitute is wrong or that I disapprove of your life choices.

There may be no problem with it ethically, but I'm not here to debate about ethics with you. In your original post, you asked whether or not the rest of us thought hiring a prostitute or having a one night stand is healthy or not. I'm saying that it's not healthy. It's a shallow substitute for a real sexual relationship. It's all about pleasure, and just because something brings you pleasure doesn't mean it's good for you (think about fast food, hard drugs, and porn).

Look man, if you have one night stands and hire prostitutes, I'm not going to judge you for that. I'm just offering my opinion that I think you'd be a happier person if you pursued deeper connections with people before having sex with them. I'm really offering this advice for your benefit, and not to shame you or make you feel bad about your decisions. I hope that's clear.

 

Okay, I've paid for sex with various women in about 10 different countries (give or take a few), let me lay out the facts from someone who has done it.

1. The sex is overrated. Let's get that out of the way right now. It's unlikely to be anything like you've seen in porn (which is probably a good thing anyway) - not even if you pay extra for the "porn star experience". Granted, I have had some memorable encounters over the years because I've done it a lot, but most of the time it fails to live up to my expectations, and just leaves me lighter in the pocket.

2. It may develop into a full-blown addiction on it's own. Don't take my word for this, just read through the forums here and you'll find accounts from other guys who have found this out too. Trust me when I say you DON'T want to add this addiction to your PMO addiction.

3. When an escort is scantily dressed and "teasing" you, you'll find the little head takes over the thinking from the big head. This is a problem. You might find yourself spending more money than you planned on one particular session with an escort, just because of the heat of the moment.

Look, I'm not against paying for sex on a moral basis. As long as all the participants are consenting adults, I see no problem with it. Where I do have a problem is when you're using it to fill some other emptiness in your life (such as trying to cope with PMO withdrawals) then yes, it will be a problem. I have found that the key to enjoying a session with an escort is a question of where the desire is coming from. If you're using it as a means of making you feel better because you're depressed or frustrated then you're going to be disappointed. Paying for sex will NOT solve internal problems (and believe me I've tried).

Don't just assume you can do it "once every three months" and everything will be fine. You might be able to do this when you're 2 years clean from using porn, but by then you probably won't want it that much anyway. If you start paying for sex now, you might just find yourself doing it a lot more often than you planned. Again, I speak from experience.

 

I think it's playing with fire personally. I've been tempted a few times and considered it but i've never gone through with it. It's no different to porn really in the fact that porn stars are prostitutes (sell their bodies for money) there will be no intimate connection like you would have with a girlfriend it will be just a straightfoward F##k she will have no feelings for you, and from what other people have said both on this forum and people i've known in my life it never meets or exceeds your expectations. It's true that people also become addicted to seeing prostitutes and end up broke and destitute and i would wager if you have a problem with compulsive and addictive porn use then this may well factor in to your relationship with prostitutes.

I know it sounds tempting but i believe a stronger man is the one who resists that temptation.

The closest i ever came to paying for sexual services was about 7-8 years ago at an old friends stag party, begrudgingly i was taken to a strip club, what could i do it was a mates stag party and i didn't want to be a party pooper. Anyway, the girls there were stunning i mean like Waaaay out of most of our leagues and i remember distinctly there was a middle aged man in th club sitting on his own with his shirt open and unkempt hair with his tie loosly hanging round his neck, many empty glasses on his table and girls swarming round him like vultures, it was sad because he was clearly trying to fill a hole in his life with the hollow gratification he was getting from this bought and paid for attention.

Under peer pressure (and quite a lot of alcohol) me and my best mate paid for a lesbian strip dance in a booth, it was reaaally wierd and made me feel uncomfortable as i was sitting next to my pal i'd known since we were little kids and there were these two impossiby beautiful 20 somethings flaunting their bits and being all erotic infront of us. Felt strange and not right, also difficult to be aroused but also keep the discipline to not touch. I left £50 lighter and with a sinking feeling in my heart.

 

Sports can be a coping mechanism. That's why so many around the world follow football - it helps them cope with life.

 

I've seriously considered paying for sex. I'm a loser when it comes to women and I have zero chance with them. I've researched Nevada Brothels and safe ways to hook up with escorts in my area. But after careful consideration I've decided it's not for me for three reasons (none of them are moral, so don't worry about me preaching. If a person wants to have paid sex, I say by all means go for it.)

1. I want a deeper intimate relationship with a woman that's all about sharing everything. Not a woman that just gives me sexual pleasure and that's it. I'm convinced that I'd feel very empty and depressed after having sex with a prostitute.

2. It gets expensive. I want to save money for traveling, now and into retirement. I don't want to blow all that cash on a prostitute when I could be using the money to travel to beautiful places around the US and the World.

3. I have no doubt that it will be addictive for me and I'll be wasting a lot of time hooking up and looking for the next hook up.

(Guess a 4th is that I need to learn how to interact with women properly and if I start going after prostitutes I'll never learn how to meet and date good wholesome women that aren't just trying to get money out of me.)

That's my input. No judgment from me. Hell who knows, I might change my mind someday and start hooking up with brothel chicks and escorts. But for now I choose to stay away from them.

 

Lol

 

Remember folks, if' she's got it you'll get it

 

Trigger warning

Bro, don't do it I have a friend like me is addicted to porn. He started watching porn then he got bored and move on to prostitute. At first it was just blow jobs once a month thats it then one of the prostitute convince him for a full body sex since he is a regular customer. He became so addicted he came to me asking me and friends for help.

It can be very tempting it will consume you if your mind is not strong enough.

 

Trust me, escorts are not how you want to spend your time or money. I speak for myself but I’d rather stay a virgin than contract some terrible disease. STD are among the worst diseases you can have. They’re especially bad because they have most of the time no symptoms. The only way you’ll know if you get tested. So if you go through with this at least get a blood test after 5-6 weeks

 

im on day 3 yay