Is masculinity TOXIC?

#MenToo

 

Mabe they want to reverse rolls the men can stay home and raise the kids while the wife goes off to war and to work, think old school America but reversed since it really doesn’t seem like they want equality, next draft all woman let’s see how much girl power it takes to keep us safe from invasion why not just let them run the war department as well let woman design are weapons too, the worlds first feminist army

 

In all seriousness men make great protectors we want to protect are loved ones don’t treat us like we are all evil we have hearts too, many men have fought and died for their loved ones woman can protect there loved ones as well mothers have given up there lives for there owns children many had to give there children away as well for there children’s own safety both sexes make the sacrifice in truth we need each other we are drawn to different things naturally its in our biology but we do need each other children need parents and to look up to both a mother and a father I know not all family’s are fortunate enough to have both sometimes one of the parents can be horrendous but there are many good family’s that work

 

I watched that video the other day. It struck a real chord with me with the valid points made. The issue of how the media portrays masculinity as overtly aggressive or macho. This begs the question of what makes a real man? The representation of men by the media?

What really grates me is how these so-called 'feminists' that fight for gender 'equality' want to have double standards. It's OK to dish it out against men, but it's not OK for men to dish it out to women. These sexist hypocrites want to have their cake and eat it. Any readers in the UK, will know that the panel TV programme, Loose Women, is notorious for this.

 

Nice profile picture. Jewels remain still gleaming.

 

Thank you UKGeezer. Yeah, I would definitely say that Gareth Southgate is a brilliant role model. Not just as a football manager and former player, but he also strikes me as man of principal and with a great deal of integrity.

 

Plus he can have a word in Gary's ear for ya if you ever fancy some crisps.

 

Lol nah

Masculinity is biological but unfortunately for men alive today, we have to try harder to be masculine because there are big and organised forces pushing against us.

Good men should not be harmless, they should be very dangerous, yet be in control of themselves. (Jordan Peterson said that).

I couldn’t be proud of myself if I wasn’t masculine. Masculinity is a powerful force for justice, progress, success, family and relationships.

 

I don't think masculinity, in general, should be labeled as "toxic," because there are obviously a lot of great things about masculinity. But I do think there are some masculine traits that could be called toxic, or at the very least, dangerous and damaging.

For example, I think making young men feel weak for having feelings and emotions is toxic.

I think being violent and aggressive can be toxic, and there is almost always a better way to handle a situation than resorting to violence and aggression.

I think the idea that "beta" men, or men who are more sensitive and less traditionally "manly," are lesser than those who are big and tough and show no fear or sadness or emotion, is toxic.

I absolutely detest the notion that men can't be victims of sexual assault, or the implication that if a man gets to have sex with a woman, even if it was unwanted on his side, he should be grateful and stop complaining. And also, again, not have any "girly" emotions about it.

I think it's a toxic idea to think that men can't like feminine things or have feminine characteristics, or that they always have to be the dominant one in every relationship or they're labeled a cuck or a soyboy (a phrase that has already been tossed around in this very thread, simply because a man had the audacity to agree that some male characters can be toxic at times).

In general, I would like for men to be able to be whoever they really are and feel line on the inside, without being judged and labeled and put down by other men for not fitting into the stereotypical "male" box. By the way, that includes men who are big and strong and not very emotional, as well. There's nothing wrong with that, if that's who you are. I have no problem with men being tough or liking "manly" things, or not being emotional. What I have a problem with is men who don't really feel that way, feeling like they HAVE to act that way, or else they are going to be mocked or viewed as weak or less of a man than their more traditionally masculine friends.

 

And before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, yes, there are also a lot of toxic traits that are traditionally feminine, and I, as a woman, have no problem admitting that. But that's not what this thread is about, so I didn't feel the need to make a list.

 

I agree, but I would say that the negative things you mentioned come not from masculinity, but from insecurity, unresolved pain, or negativity coming from society and culture. These things aren’t caused directly by masculinity, but rather can be managed and turned into something positive with healthy masculinity. The reason why men who grew up without fathers have more problems and are more likely to have toxic traits is because they had no guidance growing up. They are left with no clear identity and are less equipped to face the real world. Of course, people with fathers behave toxically as well, but I would say these behaviours don’t spring from an innate, ‘dark side’ of masculinity, but rather the come from the innate flaws in every human, and are masqueraded through a fake and hollow sense of masculinity. This is exacerbated through negative attitudes in the world that have been present for a long time, caused by misunderstanding and stereotypes pushed in art and media. I agree with you, I just think it’s quite important to choose words carefully.

 

Yeah, I guess I would agree with that. But I think the problem is that a lot of people are not self aware enough to see that. A lot of people, even especially a lot of men, genuinely think that all the traits I just listed are the mark of a "real man."

 

That's probably true