Is it OK to masturbate if I have more libido than my wife ?

It can lead to an increasing need which can cause problems or make them worse. I hope that you can both grow more close in other intimate ways, maybe this would help her in her desires.

 

If the lady doesn't want to do anything, then I say just take a cold shower and deal with it. Masturbating isn't worth it. If it's possible to just become intimate with her again in the future, if I were you, I'd wait for that moment again rather than just masturbate and damage yourself.

 

You don't want to use porn because it can cause issues like PIED and HOCD, along with sapping all your energy.

 

Not good, but not nearly as bad as porn. It will sap your energy, too, just not to the same extent. Remember, the more you scratch, the more you itch!

 

Such a good quote

 

NO TO PORN!! Its a slippery slope. Mb without porn or use distraction per nofab plan.

 

Waiting for your wife is definitely worth it. My advice (and some that I need to take myself) is that if you have that want and she isn't in the mood, try to re-focus that energy on how you can show her love in a way that she will respond to. Whether it's quality time or just doing a few extra chores around the house, picking up after the kids or putting them to bed to give her a little break. However you can love her, try to do that.

It's much easier to masturbate than it is to choose to love your wife. Trust me, I've chosen the easy way way too many times. I heard a quote that seems relevant here.

“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.” - Theodore Roosevelt

 

When I was much younger and married I did go often MO when taking a shower and knew sex wasn't going to happen. I never had any erection issues then. As far as watching porn,the problem is you see these women wanting sex and doing it over and over and wonder why your wife isn't like that.Take it from me many times we watch porn at work on Friday afternoons, I would go home thinking I was going to have a super session of sex that night.The wife was tired, a kid was sick and it was as a no go. Sure sets the mood for a crappy weekend.Good luck my friend.

 

i think you should not masturbate.

 

Great that you come here to ask

I just saw an entry in @Strength And Light journal where he shared that his wife was in awe when she realized that he kept it for her. For the time when she would be ready. What a wonderful moment. Don't you think?
But he managed this after 2 years.
The question is how do you want to manage your urges?

Stay strong we do this together

 

Exercise, become a ninja. Use that energy. Stop channeling it to the sex idea in your mind.

 

Such great discussion here. I know its helping me, and I'm still in re-boot 1st time, no relapses! Having a group like this where we are all facing like related challenges is a great source of support. I so needed this

 

Yes this is totally ok I would say

 

That is very powerful. Thanks for sharing. This is one of the hardest things for me in a relationship. I've heard it said we cannot love whilst we lust.

 

I know I may be in the minority here but I see very little distinction between masturbation and porn. To me they’re both very bad habits and you should avoid them at all costs, especially if you’re a former addict. They both cause you to fantasize and build up this false perception of reality. When you watch porn or fap you’re in your head, enjoying pleasure in your perfect little world where every little fetish that comes to mind you can get off to right then and there. This is not how real sex works. Masturbation does not prepare you for being with someone nor does it strengthen any existing relationship in any way. It is a cheap alternative and it is basically a farce. Sex with a woman is real. Wanking yourself off is not. Just my two cents.

 

I support this view as well. Masturbation is a cheap alternative to intimacy with a woman. It is also the triumph of lust over love.

 

Very well-put, and I completely agree.