Is it ok for women to not have sex the first month

such wise words. Need to make a thread about this

 

thats great. reminder that you said many times how just 1 O cripples you so be VERY careful!!!

Read this as to strengthen your resolve
The Sin of Wasting Seed (briskodesh.org)

 

Focusing on this is what will make you soft in bed. Tbh good foreplay (which is a necessity), and being in the moment usually helps with that. You want to be absorbed in the girls beauty and in the moment so you’re not in your head thinking or wondering “how am I gonna get it up?” Or thinking “I have pied, I’m not gonna do as well”. Sex is as much of a mind thing as it is a body thing

 

This is wholesome actually. I think you’ll be successful since most guys want sex

 

I'm like you. I don't want to have sex with someone I don't know. Having said that I don't want to wait too long. Definitely don't want to for marriage, don't even want to get married anyway.

 

The longer you wait the more valuable and exclusive it becomes. That fact that people think you need it or should have it asap is fucked.

 

I would not be surprised if they do lose interest. Its sex. People expect it. That doesn’t mean they’re right. In my opinion, its a good way to weed out the weak and the unwholesome.

 

Update, even when I dated her 2 months, it turned up to be a total failure. So I think, until sex and real intimacy happens, its impossible to tell what that person is really about.

Ofc, some ppl are plain shitty, those u can detect. But I tell u, I dated this girl 2 months and than had sex with her and after a while, I realized she is just not good, because I got to know her more closely. Also the sex was meh. So... yeah.

 

I had that same mindset when I was a teenager. I claimed I wanted to "wait until marriage" or until I fell in love with the other person. But then I got married and all that changed.
If you wait for that right person, you could end up with a wife who won't even do things for you. Waiting for a sexless marriage is what happened to me.

My ex was a "good Christian girl" and we did it after two months, both of us saying we wanted to wait but it didn't happen. I lost opportunities with women because I didn't have sex with them. I also know my worth and told some women I didn't like them. No I'm not doing you.

I say let it naturally flow. If she's into you and your a catch she'll wait. Anybody having sex on the first date is an idiot or lying. First date should be coffee and just getting to know each other, not the chance to knock up a stranger and get into debt as a dad.

 

any updates @Legacy of Lost Soul ?

how are you feeling?

this girl wants to sleep w me really badly but i’m not sure i really want to. i have been celibate and on retention for over 420 days

idk i feel conflicted and after reading your story seems like sex is overrated no?

 

U do u. Women always completely destroyed my streak and life. It was the same last time, after recent 300 days streak. She left me very soon after. I try to get my life in order in all aspects ever since, last months.

 

I think that it's important to get to know the person before you just have sex, it's like doing the later steps of a relationship as the first step. You can establish that you have attraction towards a girl. If that girl likes you, she will be willing to wait. Not all girls are sexual beasts who need their fix of sex every 3 minutes.

 

Look, she didn’t make Chad and Tyrone wait.

 

do you still stand by this, considering that even though you waited 10 dates, it still didnt work out? I would assume its still usually always better to wait right?

 

I dont know mate

I dont know mate. One time, it worked in a sense it kind of prevented me to get too close with incompatible partner. I dated her for a month, lets say 8 dates. Towards the end, I started to hate her voice. Still, I went to her house to have a night together. And there it escalated so I just left the house and her, because it was total horror. We did not even have sex.

This summer, I dated a girl for months, spent a lot of time outside by the water, she was a good company. Than after that whole time, we had sex. It was mediocre. But not bad. IMHO she took it as nothing happened. It did not change anything for her. Our sex had same value to her, like her morning piss routine. I realized that. And pulled out. I dont want that.

So IDK. Most likely, it does not matter how long u date someone. My best relationships started with sex on a 1st night.

But also, its about both parties.. me and the girl. And I am deeply fucked person. Not in a morals. But there is something off with me and I cant get to the roots of it. Something is wrong with me :/ most likely its caused by something in childhood. I was abused. Also beaten. And lots of agrresion in my family. All kinds of fucked up things. I go to psychotherapy this whole year, 4 times a month, and I have not moved much. Its painful and sad. Hope u better. Stay strong.

 

sorry to hear that man. i know deep down you’re a good guy. I do sense some neuroticism and aggression in you at times, i have it too. I think it’s important for us to just try to be as self aware as possible and actively work on remedying our character flaws

I hope you heal. it takes a long time, many years.

Some things that can help are:
- looking up bible verses or articles talking about bible verses relevant to whatever character trait or topic you are trying to improve on. For example, if it’s anger, google “bible verses about anger”. i say this even if you’re not religious at all. lots of wisdom could be gained that could simply be applied from a practical lense

- google something called “trauma release exercise” or TRE. there is a subreddit called r/TRE

- google “german new medicine”, talks about mind body healing

- look into youtube channels that encourage positive thinking self growth or philosophic principles like stoicism. there are many gems you will pick up along the way. one such channel is called “grave mind”.

- check this out, might help heal a bit of your trauma. very relaxing


hope it helps. All the best

 

I dont even remember her now, sex was bad and it never repeated, so there u have my theory about waiting...

 

I personally thing that this is a good idea.