This morning I had an argument with my wife, nothing serious, but then she went to work. I happen to have the day off. So then come these urges to drop by a local massage parlor. I've managed to resist but have changed my mind several times and the bursts of dopamine in anticipation and then disappointment of not giving in has left me feeling drained and empty. I'm going to stay strong though and just writing this is making me feel better already.
Holy crap, man. That is tough. The whole back and forth with the dopamine is insane. What is even worse, as I see it, is that this is all the result of our own self-abuse... I feel for you, brother, and I hope we all make wise choices.
I feel your pain, man. Well, done for not doing it. I have resisted those exact urges for 17 days now. I usually don't get this far. Don't repeat the cycle.
Thanks for the support guys. I live in Moscow where the massage places are plentiful with lots of options. I found myself standing on the subway platform for like 30 minutes debating going back and forth. Then when I finally went away I got one stop before I had the thought, shit I could take 2 girls then got off and stalled another 15 minutes before I managed to tear myself away. Just a warning to anyone who has a problem w/ porn and is contemplating stepping up to erotic massage , don't. It's a nasty cocktail that will fck your life up. I'm ok now though, I'm now treating myself to a nice lunch and feeling in control of myself!
Does it work to think of a really UGLY woman waiting for you? Sometimes you just have to try everything to get away from temptation.
I had a problem with massage parlours also and last gave in 2 weeks ago. I now hope not to ever go back to that way of life anymore - I can now see how damaging it is.
It is hard but saying it is an "insane" urge will not help at all, you are just convincing yourself that your desire is that one, that you can't help it and that you have to satisfy yourself in order to survive, wrong! That desire is as strong as you allow it to be, if you say no from the very beginning it will not have power over you, but rather otherwise.
Unfortunately this doesn't work at all because they have all the girls on the website and you can pick which one you want. That's also part of the problem. I keep checking this site and seeing who is working. Of course I could block that site, but I know I would find away around it.
I agree with you. Unfortunately, I'm often prone to hyperbole. It certainly felt "insane" at the time, though! That's the problem with dopamine addiction, it makes things seem like a survival issue, when in reality it isn't at all. I surely won't die from not visiting such places. I've just got to make a firm resolution not to give in.
Even i am battling a similar urge to want to visit a massage parlor. maybe just let the urge pass. dont use words as strong, evil, bad, nasty. its like: u have two papers and have to solve some maths questions in both the papers. now if there are stains on the paper or in the background of paper is written words as nasty, ugly, bad, evil then solving the maths equation would be tough as you wont be able to focus but if the words written on paper's background are 'it's okay' n that there is a stain but the words used to describe it as it's okay, let it be...then ur mind wont be distracted from the maths equations. the maths equations are the future, life...like living a happy life, all the words whether nasty, ugly or it's okay, it's natural n okay...are like the words u associate with an urge. the more u give it importance the more it'll feed on u. dont hate it or ignore it, just think of the urge as a neighbor u dont get along with.
Hey Moscow. I know how you feel. Last night I was parked in front of one contemplating whether to go inside or not. I chose not to. But I think we are going through these to build our choosing power and feeding the good wolf and not the bad one.
Hi Moscow, IMHO... this is a perfect time to do some personal growth. Your wife's anger only effects you if you allow it. I would encourage you to take a deep breath and calm down. You have a disagreement, but those come and go, right? The better you hold yourself up in the face of adversity the better you are going to be handling urges. I do know how you feel... She doesn't want me, I'll do what I want to do - but in fact you really don't want to self destruct. In fact caving in is about the worst thing you can do to compound the problem with your wife. Not only are you at odds, you're giving her an additional reason for her anger. I wish you luck and if you give this some time and stay steady, get back to loving your wife, it's a chance for you both to grow. It ain't easy, but it's the "big boy" way of handling things.
I am just trying to taper off my interest and obsessing on visiting MPs. I have been just over a handful of times. I feel I am making good progress but my god, once you tune into them, you start to notice that they are everywhere. I need to tune out. Working on it.
Remember, the dopamine is only in anticipation of visiting the MP. Actually following through will not end the urges at all.
Sorry, but what is a massage parlor? Do they have these in the USA or are we talking about other countries? Not familiar with this sort of thing.
Basically a massage with a happy ending, as in the masseuse finishes the session by masturbating the client or even having sex with them.
So the thrill of: deciding to do it Picking a place Traveling to it Walking in The process up to the moment of O Yeah all of that can be an "electric" dopamine "brain bath" I an retraining myself. Any tips?
I had a similar feeling and I must say reading your post helped.I am also calming down and I can experience the big fire in me slowly coming down and I am spending energy in more creative ways !
I have been using the "rubber band" trick. I wear one on my wrist next to my watch. Every time I think about massage parlours I snap the band fairly hard and hurt my wrist a little I feel it's really working It's a "nuralistic programming" trick.
