I'm frustrated with shallow friendships

I've always been frustrated with how many people are so shallow in friendships. I want more. I want depth.

I thought I had that with a great group of people recently, but it's completely fallen apart, and idk what happened.

We used to get together every two weeks for Bible study. It was a marriage group, so a group of like 7 couples. When covid happened, we stopped doing study, and I wasn't sure if it would start up again later, but it never did.

But not only did it not start up again, but like nobody ever keeps in touch at all anymore.

I was recently extremely bummed out by the fact that I texted them all for a prayer request. I'm walking through a season of a lot of emotional pain, and I opened up to them about that and said that I've never needed prayer and support more in my entire life.

I texted them about this once. 11 people I texted. Only one responded.

Then about a week later, I had sort of an update on my situation, and another request for support and prayer. Again, 11 people I texted, and this time 2 responded, although one was a pretty short, basic "I'm sorry, I'll pray for you" kind of thing. But still, that's better than nothing... which is all I got from the other 9 people.

It's just really, really depressing that in one of my darkest moments, when I feel like I'm losing touch with my family and already feel so alone and depressed and hopeless, I try to reach out to the people I felt close to and who have been some of my close friends in the past, who we've shared really deep stuff with together and grown a lot together, and just... nobody even gives a crap enough to respond. Not even with a simple "I'll pray for you." Just nothing.

Anyway. Idk. Idk why I'm writing this, aside from that I feel really lonely and I'm depressed about how much people don't seem to give a crap about meaningful relationships. I so badly want meaningful relationships, which I used to have with my family, and now I don't anymore. So I tried to reach out to the people I thought would care and be loving and supportive, like they used to be, and I got mostly silence in return.

I know I'm not the first person in the world to feel lonely, and I'm sure a lot of people would look at my situation and laugh at how I could feel so alone when I still have so much. But this is just all new for me, and it's depressing to find out that people you thought were your friends don't really seem to care that much about you.

 

I’ve listened to a famous wrestlers interview and he’s stated he’s not friends with half of the locker room and quote on quote he’s friends with people “Who are going to have you’re back when you fall.” If their not going to have your back he stated “F em.”


I’m dealing with a co worker right now that’s getting on my nerves and he’s done it in the past. He’ll come up to me say hi asks if so and so is here, then wonders off to talk and socialize with them making me feel like a nobody.


For them it’s an honest shame. Even having it be a Bible study group you’d think they would be more caring.

I think god is making you realize you’re not doing anything wrong and they aren’t you’re real friends, perhaps the 1 person who responds might have depth and a connection. But in reality brother Screw the other people. If they understand Christ they would be giving the same love in return, clearly they don’t.

 

It's not that hard to send a simple text. I honestly think it's ridiculous to use having children or something as an excuse to not even say a simple response.

I'm just a little sick of people making so many excuses for just being bad friends and not caring about other people's feelings.

 

I'm actually a woman, so I'm not sure I would be a good fit for your group. But thank you very much for the offer! I appreciate it <3

 

Thank you, friend. You're definitely more than just an internet rando to me, so I appreciate the encouragement a lot. *hugs*

 

I'm actually a pretty independent person most of the time. I'm just going through a rough time right now, so I guess that has me feeling extra down and in need of more community.

I don't think it's healthy to retreat from people completely. We were made to bed each other, not to be totally alone. At least that's my opinion.

 

Yeah, she is a really kind lady. She's older. She and her husband are actually the ones who did premarital counseling for me and mine before we got married.

Honestly, we are considering trying to find a church community with more older people, because it seems like maybe we would get along better with people a bit older. We could use a bit of mentorship in our lives, right now especially.

 

I feel like the younger people are more self centered, but above all this pandemic happening people became more self driven. I'm not sure if its just me but I've noticed it in a ton of people. The people who care about you and want to know how you're doing are the ones to fall back on.

Another friend on my Facebook I'm failing to keep connected with, I've even asked him to go to a event in our city this Winter. Absolutely nothing back and the dudes online..

 

I feel like I can only think of a handful of people in my entire life who have actually been deep friendships. Like the kind of friends who want to stay up late just talking about important life issues and stuff. I wish that was more common.

 

Coming to the Loneliness sub forum to insult and make fun of people for being lonely is a real classy move.

 

I don't think it makes someone "needy" to desire deep relationships with other humans... so I guess we will just have to agree to disagree.

 

I can totally agree that that is good hypothetical reasoning, but to be honest, it's just not my situation at all. I'm an extremely independent person, to a fault even. Nobody in my life has ever described me as needy, and I would honestly just laugh if someone did, because it's laughably inaccurate.

I appreciate the advice, but it just doesn't apply to me or this situation at all.