I want to touch a human being

There were a series of experiments conducted both by an ancient Roman king and an Egyptian Pharaoh that took a group of infants and deprived from them human interaction while at the same time scrupulously tending to the infants physical needs, (food, changing diapers, etc..). All in an attempt to "gauge the true language of God", the wet nurses were told not to talk or coddle the infants and within less than half a year, all if not most of the infants had died. Looking back at my life I've come to the realization that all I've ever really wanted, all anyone really wants, is a real, meaningful connection to someone on an emotional level. Speaking on a personal level, I've always been alone. I hadn't made any real friends until high school, and being raised by a paranoid single mother, I wasn't exactly encouraged to be around most of my family.
I started to develop a hole inside. There are days even now that i walk around and i feel completely hollow and jaded. I feel like it'd be easier to want to be alone because I've lost my ability to connect with people but I can't seem to lie to myself. Like everyone else, I wanted to fill this hole inside and what I discovered was pornography. Pornography is always there when i need it and not there when I don't. It doesn't lie to me, it doesn't ever let me down, and damn does it feel good. I've come to realize that although porn was meant to fill this gaping chasm in my chest, all it's done is make it bigger because PORN IS JUST A REPLACEMENT FOR THE EMOTIONAL CONNECTION THAT COMES FROM A REAL PERSON. I want to touch a human being. Not in a sexual way that entails a certain expectation of a person (although maybe a little), but as hand that reaches out as if to say that "Although this world is full of falsehood, I will be your truth", and i want someone to reach back and tell me the same thing. Porn is just the finger in the dyke and my dam has burst (masturbation pun). I'm a greedy man, I can't be satisfied by a cheap imitation anymore. To all my brothers and sisters who can relate and have read through all of this, I'm telling you; we can overcome this. Just as porn became the replacement for real human interaction and connection, so can connection be the replacement for porn.
I know it's not easy, but we have to put ourselves out there. Something real is out there for us all I swear it is, we just have to let it in. Thanks for reading.