I need help and advice, I don’t want to be a bad person anymore.

Porn addiction may escalate and may cause someone to cheat or seek risky avenues to quench their sexual addiction, I suppose. However, I think cheating is a meditative act and it isn’t spontaneous unless it’s an escort.

I’m only saying that in my experience, cheating stems from not loving who I was with in a relationship.

Real love requires commitment and it is strengthened by considering the other person’s feelings. A person can “really love” another person but they may not be sexually satisfied with them. I don’t think I have a “juvenile” point of view. You either don’t agree or don’t understand my point.

 

I agree to an extent but I’m only giving my experience as the reason why I feel that he may be unfulfilled.

I didn’t cheat on my ex-boyfriend until 5 years into our relationship. In a way, I did just wake up one day and decided that I was bold enough to cheat on him because I was looking for a way out. I did feel bad for what I was doing and I didn’t want to keep lying to him but I would be fooling myself if I said I wanted to remain in a relationship with him for good. We were together for 8 years and I was obese. I felt like I settled with him because he was nice to me but I never felt a genuine attraction.

Now I’m in a new relationship and I feel attracted to the man I’m with currently. I wouldn’t cheat on him because I feel fulfilled in this relationship. I find my boyfriend very handsome, intelligent, and and agreeable. My last relationship was the opposite. The previous guy was not attractive. He was immature and I could never carry an intelligent conversation with him. He was very financially generous and he was always reliable. That’s about it. I felt bad because I knew deep down that he was a placeholder and in my mind, he was all I could get at the time.

My only problem now is that I have an addiction to MO and I’ve conditioned myself to my stimulation. I would never want to leave my current boyfriend.

 

I’m a little surprised at the amount of judgment passed by people who are A) Not doctors, and B) cut from the same cloth. If I were Squidham I would’nt feel like this is a safe place to ask for help.

 

I agree. This should be a safe place where all discussion is welcome and name calling is off limits. People from all over the world should be able to engage in the same discourse without assuming too much of each other.

No one has to agree with anyone. There are no diagnoses taking place. All conversation here is diverse and should be taken as informal / candid.

A lot of what people say here comes from an innocent place of self-experience and the freedom to express allows us to process our own issues.

Discussion is healthy. Let’s keep the conversation going. It’s more productive than climbing up a mountain and refusing to participate.

 

Anywho, I suppose it’s also worth mentioning that the OP was only 20 when he married his wife. From what is written above, they also have children.

Although one can’t dwell on missed opportunities and what if’s, it is probably somewhat of a burden to be young, married, and with kids in this generation. Heck I’m 30, I have my B.A. degree, I’m not married, I don’t have kids, and yet I have so much pressure to live life happily while making something work. I could imagine the stress Squidham is under.

 

Wow, I feel like a goof. Somehow I got caught up in my new alerts and I didn’t notice you replied. Disregard most of what I said in more recent entries.

What I said about unfulfillment is me talking about my past relationship. I only cheated and had the worst case of PMO in my last relationship.