I have asked Allah, Jesus, Jahve, Krishna and Buddha for Help

This is not Christianity. One of the reasons I’m now an ex-Christian is the contradictions in the Bible. On the one hand, you are right. God is love.

On the other, as Paul wrote to Ephesians 5:5 For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. 7 Therefore do not be partners with them.

There we have an example of some condition. God may be love, but he has wrath! against some people. Curiously, Paul also taught that people were to put away their wrath

Ephesians 4:31 You must put away all bitterness, anger, wrath, quarreling, and slanderous talk—indeed all malice.

 

You never have ever felt that wonderful love I was talking about?

Do you have a wife?

 

Yes I have a wife. I was pointing out that Christianity paints a contradictory picture of Gods love.

 

Well that's a great thing. What is the result if your wife is hooking up with another guy?
You will experience anger and wrath.
You are created like the image of God. So Gods love and his wrath are both sides of the same medaille, so to speak. In exact the same way God is experiencing wrath when we are hooking up with other "gods" (=idols).

God loves everybody without condition. But if we choose to follow idols we put ourselves out of the blessings of God. If I continue to use porn while I'm married, the result is probably that I put myself out of the love and trust of my wife. I can't blame her for that.
You seems to have a vision on love that it's able to endure everything else, whatever it is. But of course that's impossible!

Love and holiness are walking hand in hand. It first starts with love.
But God wants us to be holy and pure, that's what Paul is talking about here.
Why? Because love wants the whole heart not just 50%.
Are you loving your wife for 100%? Or just 50% and the other 50% is for your pretty neighbor? If so, is the love of your wife such great that she can love you including you loving your neighbor?

I think I see where you're coming from.
That sounds contradictive.
Why can God be wrathful, while I am commended to put away my wrath?
God can be wrathful, but I believe He doesn't want to as His heart is so loving, caring and merciful.
When He is wrathful, that's a holy act. God is sovereign, so His wrath is always a righteous act. And never without reason.
When I am wrathful, that's because of I feel hurt. God knows that wrath is making me unhappy and in the end, ill. That's why Paul and Jesus encourage me to forgive the other. And to get rid of my feelings of anger and wrath.
Forgiveness is an act of love to myself. It frees me from the heavy emotional burden and makes me able to live my life in freedom.

I don't understand why you see this as something bad.
It's a commandment given from a loving and caring heart!
All these things will making me ill in the end and it toxifies all my relationships.
I prefér a life without bitterness, anger, wrath, quarreling and slanderous talk!
Because if I live without these issues, I feel clean, happy and free, exact the way God wants me to be.

 

I will experience anger and wrath but I will understand if my wife feels like leaving me due to my absence and her feeling like I don’t even exist. And, I would never torture my wife for leaving me, unlike a Christian God who loves hide and seek and yet gets very much offended if his existence is doubted.

Didn’t Paul say that if only in this life we (ie Christians) have hope in Christ we are to be pitied the most? What blessings didn’t Paul realize due to his love for this God?

 

not a joke. You just gotta be patient and know what you’re dealing with.

God helps people in His time, not theirs.

 

Let’s think about this. God has unlimited time and resources and capabilities. He could have given each and everyone of us a Damascus road experience. We’d be able to make a genuine choice then. We’d know this Gos exists and there would be no atheists then. And yet, much of the world is confused about this God. There are Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, etc who are all worshipping non Christian God(s). And even among Christians there is confusion. What is God like? Is Jesus God? How does he want people to behave? Is this God ok with LGBTQ people or not? Etc. A confusion that this God can easily resolve among Christians. And yet, he chooses to act like he’s imaginary while not wanting to be angry at the situation. Something doesn’t add up here.

 

Don’t let all this religion stuff confuse you, just stay focused and ask Him for what you need, not what you want, what you need. Be humble And look for the answer. You will be surprised that it takes only a day or a couple o days

 

All I can say with certainty is that there is a God, a supreme being present with all of creation, and that he Loves all of us beyond our comprehension. The things we don't understand about this life, pain, suffering, different circumstances of birth, some rich, some poor, some of great health and beauty others sick, or frail, others slow, others without beauty, all of it balances out in the big picture that the creator comprehends.

The creator put us all in our place. We are exactly where we need to be, whether we understand it or not, and that we have our perfect duty, and opportunity while we are here. We have free will, to choose good, or evil, and details of how those lines are drawn cast down all of our decisions and dictate what further choices good will offer us. What the Creator wills us to choose is love, and not just that but a dedication to love. For to know love fully is to know God. Love of all these flawed people. An ability to love these, our family in existence, is to reflect God, for being the One who perceives, he knows our flaws perfectly and yet still love us. Seeking to embody that, that is the way to know God. Prayer is good, and can be helpful, but ultimately it is love that helps us see God.

You may ask why would a loving God create a world where we can choose evil? I'd remind that I am a being with a mortal with a perspective not much different than yours, but what I have come to in my own mind is that it's love. God gave us free will, were he to create beings that did the lovely thing all the time, we would be robots. We would be more similar to the stones than to life. And so God gave us free will, to chose evil, that which would harm others, and defame and obscure that source of the great love that is God, but also to choose to seek God, that love and service, to be a respite and a shelter, and to give that love freely. This is merely the state of humanity as we all have made our decisions, we have all chosen how much love we give, how often we do something selfless and how often we throw care to the wayside and do as we please.

I say all of this out of personal experience. I struggled against the cogent arguments of science and philosophers arguing against God and all religion. I have heard much of the reasons for why it is all deception and human folly, but before I let myself settle into a convinced atheism, I decided to give it a go. I came from a Christian background, so I tried to embody those principles found in the sermon on the mount. If you are not familiar, it is much a reversal of the eye for an eye concept, and instead emboldens one to truly and deeply do unto others as you'd have done unto yourself. That means forgiveness, compassion, charitability. It means to dedicate yourself to those concepts with some idea that it serves a greater purpose, greater than this life. A massive part of this is trusting in the peace that this sets one right with their Creator, and when I did, I felt a deeper peace than I have ever felt. Just as massive is to point others to this path. Again done so in a way that you would want others to have done it to you. It's a way of going about life that gives meaning to the most dull drum moments, and people become so much more beautiful as they are both family and places to show love and in showing love a chance to know God. Doing all this with trust that if you seek to do those things, the needs of your life will be provided for.

Attempting to do this, I had a series of religious experience, one more powerful than anything I've ever felt. I say this as someone who has tried drugs. I had peace. I came to know there was meaning in this experience that is life. I did all of this with some doubt in my mind, having read the texts of a few other religions, as well as philosophy of why to believe in none. I managed for a time, but that doubt lead me down poor decisions that made me unable to hold to those grand ideas. One of the greatest effect was sinking back into porn use, though that is not the all of it.

Through it all, the experiences and the fall, I can't be sure. Not much of what I experienced was confirming of Christianity, but it was very confirming of single God which is love, and a dedication to that God similar to what the sermon on the mount outlines providing me with a religious experience. 'Love God, and Love others, this is the whole of the prophets'. my paraphrase of something ascribed to Jesus. I have fallen from that place of dedication to that God this is Love, but I have never been able to doubt that God's existence. Almost paradoxically, it seems that God really is one who hides himself, only presenting to one who searches with sure dedication.

 

Buddha is not about a person. As the story goes when he had his enlightenment people asked him are you a god etc. he said no, I am awake. That's literally what the word Buddha means. There are even buddhist traditions that talk about multitudes of Buddhas throughout history and so forth so it isn't like there's just one.

Traditionally Buddhism talks about taking refuge in three things, the buddha, dharma and sangha. We might think of taking refuge in the Buddha as a real life example that such an awakening is possible, the dharma is the teachings, and sangha is the community of practitioners.

So this is very down to earth and practical, you don't have to wait for some kind of supernatural intervention. It does involve a degree of effort and study on your part and of course implies community as being essential. This is why even atheists and agnostics are attracted to Buddhist addiction recovery programs, because they are not asked to believe in anything but there are instructions that are available for people to test out for themselves by practicing it.

 

I have been enjoying the teachings of Eckhart Tolle. In the power of Now he talks about his own awakening experience. I have learned that his teachings on pain body just work for me. Tolle believes that all of us are just transmitters of the Divine consciousness. (If I understood him correctly). When our thinking stops, we experience the present moment and consciousness. But what is that consciousness? It’s probably the same for all of us. As I read your post, I thought you could have a similar experience to him.

 

I am somewhat familiar with Tolle, though not firsthand. I merely was close to someone who would mention his work frequently. The pain body concept seemed to touch on the way we associate our pains and triggers in a way that is illuminating.
I am not familiar enough with his ideas of divine consciousness though. I have talked to some others from various perspectives about their religious or spiritual experiences, and maybe this is just a peculiarity of my own, but my experience wasn't one of quiet peace as I prayed or meditated, but was one that happened as I was interacting with others, doing my best to share that love of which I attempted to describe. Sharing the Creator is a difficult yet simple thing. living in the moment is definitely a part of it. Being unattached to worldly things, yet interacting with them, using them merely as a backdrop for actions of love. That's how I took the holistic meaning of the sermon on the mount. It came to a head where I felt truly compelled to speak in a moment to a coworker. I had words flow through me that I had no idea where came from. I truly felt like I was a conduit. I don't have the time right now to describe exactly what I recall saying, but similar to what I've written, but it was powerful and succinct. It was a powerful moment, and I know that it must have served the purposes of the Creator. I know it impacted me, I hope it had an impact on him, but that is not in my hands.

 

you only think that

 

That would depends on how you define things. I never said I can provide empirical proof. My knowledge is from personal experiences. I am certain. You can choose whether or not to take my words into consideration. I know in my life, when I chose to pursue a dedication to this God of love, I had consistently had certain experiences. Whether you choose to pursue any aspect of what I described is up to you.

 

In my own journey of faith I’ve found that the best place to start is at the beginning.

1. Is there a God.

After that you move on to other questions like the nature of God. Who is God? What has God revealed?

Most people will say “if God would reveal himself then I would believe”, but this assumes belief is all there is when more is needed such as relationship. An example would be the devil, do you think the devil, if real, doesn’t believe in God? Of course he would; however, what is his relationship with this God?

This therefor brings us to the purpose of religion and that is right relationship with God. This is why religion is a virtue, a sub virtue of Justice in where man renders to God the worship God is due according to God’s will.

 

The commandments aren’t give in order for God to love you but for you to love God. The commandments therefor show where YOU don’t love God unconditionally.

 

A Christian God actually desires a relationship with people. Tolle’s God just wants to emanate his consciousness. Tolle’s God is like a Sun, which shines out regardless of whether you want to be in the shade or not. Sermon on the mount is a human construct, some of Jesus’s teachings make no sense. For example, don’t resist an evildoer. Whoever asks receives? That doesn’t make sense. And these teachings contradict Jesus himself. He calls people to love their enemies while Jesus throws his enemies into the lake of fire. Christianity doesn’t make sense to me. Tolle’s God does make sense somewhat.

 

I've really struggled with the Christian narrative myself. Like I've said, I've had genuine religious experiences following it's principles. By religious experience I mean moments that felt deeply more powerful and impactful than anything I have ever in my life. But everything that comes along with it is difficult.

It's just so powerful, the idea of Jesus as a beacon, and in fact a cornerstone, of love that gives an example to follow. Live to serve, trust that God will provide as you do so, along the path you will have what you truly need in this life and will have an everlasting life after. It says the "builders" rejected that cornerstone, which explains why everything went south. Then there is the whole thing about faith being like seeds in the hearts of men, how they die or grow to bear fruit, and when the fruit falls it bears many seeds that grow more plants(put into context of Christ's death and the martyrs after). If they were truly living those lives of service and love, and spreading God's message of love... The whole narrative is beautiful and evocative in ways I can't even describe.

But then there is everything else. The stoning that Yahweh had commanded in the old Testament, the genocide of the Canaanites, including women, children, even livestock. Then the whole narrative about sexuality, complete forbearing monogamy, no homosexuality, breaking either was also punishable by death.

Perhaps beyond all of those for me, which I've turned over for years, was the fact that anyone who refuses this offer is sent to an eternal hell for rejecting God during a finite life. Seemingly no consideration for the lives they lived, their attempts at love and working towards what they believe to be the right thing. No, only belief in Christ would save them from everlasting pain and torment. The only kind of justification I could find in the Bible was these scriptures

Isaiah 45:9-10
"Woe to those who quarrel with their Maker,
those who are nothing but potsherds
among the potsherds on the ground.
Does the clay say to the potter,
‘What are you making?’
Does your work say,
‘The potter has no hands’?
10 Woe to the one who says to a father,
‘What have you begotten?’
or to a mother,
‘What have you brought to birth?’"

and

Proverbs 16:4
"The Lord has prepared everything for His purpose—
even the wicked for the day of disaster."

I get what it's pointing to, but what it's point to became a pill that I was never able to swallow. I suppose it's still sitting there.

Still I know besides all of that, love is a deeply important factor in life. Perhaps the whole reason anything exists at all. I say this being also deeply influenced by near-death experiences(NDE's). If you aren't familiar, many(not all) report coming talking to "the light" God, the source, a guardian angel, a dead relative, etc, and 1) feeling an overwhelming sense of peace and love beyond anything they felt while alive(as well as more alive then then in their worldly life), 2) having a life review where they go over their life, often seeing what they sought as important, and then contrasting that with their actions throughout life and how they impacted others. They are shown the little things that matter way more than they though because it helped others feel loved, and they saw how their selfish actions and blunders hurt others. That love was the most important thing the whole time. 3)they're given some reason to go back, because of their purpose to love others(often family) even if they would rather stay in this loving afterlife.

It's that picture that gives my spirit meaning despite feeling very far from that raw force that I connected to when I did have those religious experiences. It's a faith of a much milder kind. Just assuring that it is worthwhile to seek to love and serve, and that should be a higher priority than all of the other things that people get mixed up in in this world. It's also why I am still dedicated to get NoFap figured out, because I have witnessed first hand how much this addiction prevents me from loving others and myself. I lost a beautiful relationship of 3 years. She had a daughter too, and I fear what this "light" will have to show me in the after life about everything that happened, the crap that I did in those three years. I know that the Creator will forgive me, but still it tears me to shreds sometimes thinking about all the awful things I said and did. I carry a shame that I bear mostly silently, without many to talk to. I hope that in the rest of my life I have a chance to atone for that sin. Love God and Love others. Doing more than that I think is beyond me, but I hope God will enable me to make an impact on a few people while I am still here.