I hate being a good man

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Onehope, Mar 30, 2018.

  1. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    Well, you're wrong, but it seems like you're pretty set in your belief that "modern" women are all shallow, so I'm not going to bother trying to show you that that's not true.
     
  2. Citadelle

    Citadelle Fapstronaut

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    Can you describe your t
    Needs of modern girl ..oh ok this I understand but I still think, I know woman which are like these anf also which are really not .Can you describe your type ?
     
  3. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    While I fully understand the point you are trying to make here, you dont really come across as a "nice guy" at all, you sound like a bitter person who hasn't woken up yet to the reality that other people have no obligation to like you, and many wont for seemingly trivial/petty reasons, and there is literally nothing you can do about it. You can sit and stew over why you think its bullshit or you can get over it and move on, and focus on improving yourself FOR YOURSELF, instead of doing things just to appeal to other people.

    I also want to mention that there is no such goddamn thing as the "perfect man", or the "perfect woman", or the perfect anything for that matter, its an ideal that simply cant exist. Conflating fantasy with reality is exactly how we ended up with PMO problems to begin with! Many people will happily enter into a relationship with someone who is the exact opposite of what they thought they wanted because, as humans, we generally dont know what we want. Accepting this, and accepting that even something you love has flaws, is the first step to having a healthier view of not just women but people in general.

    Look, I understand that its frustrating, and I'm not saying you arent entitled to feel these feelings, I'm hardly an expert on relationships, and shit some of what I said might just read like unintelligible rambling, but you wont make any progress if you continue to have the attitude that the world revolves around you and that simply by wanting something really hard you can make it so. If you really want a relationship that badly, or shit, even if you just want to get laid, you need to be honest with yourself about your motivation and then go out and make it so, and pretending to be a nice guy wont help with that.
     
  4. Are you talking about 10 out of 100 girls who are not shallow. I always talk about my personal experiances here rather than facts. 90% are shallow and does not have any affection towards anything. That's the reason of 50% divorces everywhere. And i was talking about teenage girls of my age.
     
  5. Onehope

    Onehope Fapstronaut

    I stay as friends and move on, but it bothers me to hear them say...

    "I never find a man who respects me and values my feelings"

    "No man ever gives me anything not expecting sex in return"

    "All men use me"


    All men sounds like every guy who is not me counts. And thats just sad.

    Women shouldn't complain there arent any good men available if they don't give a chance to the one standing right in front of them.
     
  6. Being a porn addict right now, i am not able to describe my type. An addict have just objectifications on body's. But atleast women (or teenage girls) must have some sense and affection with not so rich people too. It was my personal experiance as i mentioned you above so it will be hard to eliminate these facts for me. And the guy who created this thread is totally correct in his own views.
     
    Citadelle likes this.
  7. That "we can still be friends" is the most useless thing men do. How can he expect to be friends with a rude girl. A girl already might have 100s of friends in her circle and appointing ourselves one of them as a member of waiting list is a stupid decision.
     
  8. lauraS

    lauraS Fapstronaut

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    im sorry to hear that, you sound like a genuine guy. where do you think you are going wrong? laura x
     
  9. Citadelle

    Citadelle Fapstronaut

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    Ok, thats fair.I meant that I used to say all man are ..coz all which i met were, now I really think its unfair to every good guy even if I dont met him. And I always was loving, taking care and has also feelings that men wants really something else not this. I believe that once you ll met "her". And guy which created this also.
     
  10. Thank you so much for your kind words :) i know this doesn't imply to every woman but atleast those teen girls of my age.
     
  11. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    That's completely bullshit. But again, clearly you aren't worth debating if you don't care about facts and only value your feelings. Go ahead and continue on thinking 90% of girls are shallow. You'll likely end up alone with that mindset, but that's fine, we "shallow" girls won't be missing out on much.
     
  12. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    That I agree with. Complaining, in general, is annoying, and nobody likes a whiner.
     
  13. It's good if i end up alone rather than fooling myself.
     
  14. I agree..thanks for reminding.
     
  15. Onehope

    Onehope Fapstronaut


    Im not on a waiting list, when I reveal my interest to go beyond friends theres only a yes and no option, once Im rejected I move on because I know she has her own reasons. All of them are different reasons of course, but I usually get the "You are a good man, but I don't see you as anything more than friends"

    If I stay as friends it only means I am no longer aiming to be anything more, because I know in real life you dont see the girl realize the best friend was the best option for her like in the movies.

    They just keep dating garbage until maybe one day they find a not so terrible guy.
     
  16. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    That video I posted mentions this specifically, if you haven't watched it. Don't confuse that with her saying "I don't like you because you're a good guy." She's just trying to be nice and doesn't want to hurt your feelings by pointing out some specific things she doesn't like about you. It doesn't mean your niceness has anything to do with why she's rejecting you.
     
    Ginny Weasley likes this.
  17. Onehope

    Onehope Fapstronaut


    Well, it only gets more confusing when she admires everything about me and even goes as far as to say Im attractive to her.

    She would date anything, even sleeps with a man she finds disgusting.

    Dont ask me, I dont get it and I dont want to get it, I just want to focus on my life and maybe one day meet someone who is not so messed up.
     
    Castielle likes this.
  18. Onehope

    Onehope Fapstronaut

    To be honest, its hard sometimes to see someone's flaws when you have feelings for them, and sometimes those flaws can make that possible relationship a nightmare, so in the end, rejection can be a good thing.

    But like any other human being, rejection comes with feelings of neglet and uselessness. You look for excuses to blame yourself, and I know thats wrong.

    But I will always believe that being a good person has nothing to do with someone being interested in you. Its usually an animal instinct that everyone just follows regardless of who a person really is.

    I just find this cycle tiring and depressive.
     
  19. lauraS

    lauraS Fapstronaut

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    but where do you think you are going wrong?
     
  20. Onehope

    Onehope Fapstronaut

    I am wrong to assume that its somehow my fault women aren't interested in me.

    I know all of you don't know me, but I am the kind of person who is always mindful about my own defects, and I can point out some...

    I can be a bit too forward, a bit too eager sometimes, but because I am aware of this flaw, I try not to be to the best of my abilities. I go against my own nature when Im getting to know someone, but overall, its hard to hide being thoughtful and nice to others, men and women alike, I just treat everyone with respect, and I am fully aware of their feelings, and I try my best to not hurt anyone.

    I have been in relationships, but they were all lies, just women who were bored and wanted something from me, and as soon as I was useless to them they tossed me aside like I was worth nothing.

    I blame myself for those past relationships, because I saw clear signs that I needed to end them and move on, because there was pain, there was unnapreciation, I was the one giving it all, but they did not return my love.

    Because I learn this I avoid getting into toxic relationships, and perhaps this is why I understand when women do it too, when they date asholes its no different than when I dated terrible women.

    But I grew out of those bad habits and today I try ny best to be a better judge of character and try to make the best choice.

    The last girl I tried to have a relationship was far from perfect, but its not perfection I am looking for, just a generally good person, and she is, but shes stuck in that endless cycle of toxic relationships, and doesn't seem interested in stopping, Im not even sure shes aware of her flaws, but thats just something each person needs to learn on their own.

    My mistake was to assume its somehow my fault she doesn't want to be with me, and its not...

    I can't make her like me, and I can't make her stop liking assholes.

    Its just sad to me, thats all...
     

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