I hate being a good man

No worries mate, we all go through rubbish in life and can be so set in our ways we can't see anything else. And I'm not offended and rather just don't like it when men or women are generalised, but I do know what you mean about personal experience.

Either way I'm glad you realised how toxic those people can be and are taking steps to better yourself, I wish the best of luck to you mate! Because I'm sure you'll find happiness sooner than later.

 

Have you tried reading No More Mr Nice Guy? I'm reading it. I have almost nothing in common with the case studies, as far as I can tell, but I still think reading it is a useful exercise. It's not long and it's free.

Action and change is what is required now my son.

 

Sometimes you gotta find a way to move on from the past...Im not gonna dig into your history cause frankly i dont care...it doesn't help me or you this is a new thread and youre trying to branch off of the now (current feelings)

My recommendation: if someone you feel has wronged you in the past, write out a detailed letter to that person, don't hold back, dont send just hold onto it for a few days or a couple weeks. Add as needed and after awhile start to remember this is in the past, it cant be changed, prepare to mentally forgive...then delete or toss out (maybe burn-more fun) the letter.

Old posts...you dont need the memories or anger let em go and delete. Its very refreshing to clean house every now and then.

 

It is without a doubt the most amazing thing I've ever read, and I haven't even finished it. I'm honestly freaking out right now. For the first time in my life my eyes have been opened. I finally found out why I am the way I am.

Without getting into details, my dad was away for a few years from the ages 2-5, and even though I don't remember it, he wasn't there. It wasn't his fault, but he wasn't there. I think that's where it started. When he did come back into my life, him being away had definitely put a strain on our relationship.

I remember that we didn't even talk, despite me loving him and him loving me. He had one of the most traumatic childhoods that I've ever heard, so he really didn't know how to show me he loved me, even though I know he did. I remember around a certain age I started being so polite and well mannered. I knew I was without a doubt the nicest kid that I knew of.

My friends' parents loved me and would even joke "can I keep him?" I didn't make a single mistake. I adopted the paradigm that if I do no wrong, then everyone will love me. Pretty much, I felt that I couldn't be my actual self, because I wasn't good enough. My mom absolutely smothered me growing up as well.

I stayed in daycare until I was 13 years old. Everyone else I knew just rode the bus home, but I was in daycare with just a few other kids my age. I even went to a daycare where I was the oldest kid by about 5 years. Even in high school when I was 14 she didn't want me to catch the bus. The only reason I did was because her and my dad were still home when I actually got on the bus. That made me feel so fucking inadequate. I wasn't good enough to even catch a bus by myself.

All of that led me to believe I wasn't worth a shit. I always avoided conflict with people and played it nice because that's how I believed I should be. Fast forward a few years and I started to get really good with guitar and I became a pretty good looking dude, but I just never felt it. Despite being told I'm absolutely incredible on guitar, on drums, on bass, and despite having countless girls check me out and even tell me I'm fine as hell and attractive, I still couldn't believe it. No fucking more.

I've finally realized why I've been so hard on myself all these years. It was so bad at one point that I honestly believed nobody would even think about paying me to do a job. The truth is, I'm not good, but I'm not bad either. I'm just a human being trying to make it through this thing called life, and I definitely make mistakes, but so does everyone else.

I'm an amazing musician. I write amazing songs, amazing lyrics. I'm incredible at guitar, bass, drums, writing lyrics, and I'm a smart, attractive guy who actually has a great personality. Goddamn does it feel good to say that. I feel free for the first time in my life. End of speech hahaha.

 

This is wrong, women don't hate nice guys. Women love nice guys, thing is truly nice guys won't consider themselves nice. They just are. There's some appealing "Bad guy" traits, but in reality those are just alpha/dominant traits any man can adopt for themselves if they so choose! Do so & with time & approaching woman you will find one that falls heads over heels for you.

 

Spoken like a true 15 year old.