I don't want to masturbate but I have so much desire of do it

The deal seems fair if men practice karezza however being able to actually do it is negotiatable.

 

The guilt is unecessary, say "No" to your temptations in your mind Your thoughts can be like a television program you find disgusting, just think "Ew no thanks" and change the channel in your mind. Think of something to occupy your time, a book and transmute that energy into alertness, sit up straight when you read, use your finger to trace along the words. Keep working on it. Cut out caffiene, get some real exercise. It does wonders.