I am an idiot

Yea big fuck up there, but at least you have experience now, how likely will the same thought cause you to relapse. You aren't at the start that's for sure, try focus on your average number of days that you don't relapse instead of just 1 long streak

 

You aren't an idiot. Mistakes happen. Just keep on going

 

The problem here is that you were still jerking off to p/subs. So, you were getting some dopamine from it. But it is never enough. The way we are wired means that eventually we will escalate as you did all over again. Lesson learnt, I hope. I would encourage you to stop looking at p/subs and stop masturbation. They are a 'gateway drug' back to PMO addiction.

 

I can echo that sentiment.

Personally, I'm pretty close to de-activating my Instagram profile, as it's basically jailbait for porn.

 

One option is to make a conscious choice to stop seeing masturbation and sexual activity as a way to relax. This line of thinking probably leads you to act as if sexual release is inevitable, when (in my opinion) it really isn't. Find and cultivate other ways of relieving stress.

 

Been there.......

 

This is your addicted brain rationalising the need to keep getting hits of dopamine. You need to confront this narrative pal.

 

You fell off the proverbial wagon. Just get back on....You fapped, now you have to put on the fapstronaut suit again. See how long you can go this time.

A TV series finale comes to mind:

 

don't call yourself a idiot. It is an addiction, and you allready had 5 months. So start again and things will be fine.

 

Fall 7 times , stand up 8.