I'd prefer to stay anonymous, but the reason I chose my username after the Star Wars character is because I view my struggle with these addictions as being highly parallel to the struggle Luke faces in The Empire Strikes Back of trying to master himself and his emotions so that he can become a bad ass Jedi. I've struggled with masturbation since I was 14, and with pornography since I was 11 or 12. I'm now in my 20's and recently graduated college. When I turned 18, I told myself I wanted to quit pornography cold-turkey, which I did so successfully on my own, but only with increased dependence and reliance on masturbation, which I now cannot seem to overcome. I am now at the point where I believe the biggest thing holding me back from overcoming masturbation is psychological -- I don't believe I can stop, so I don't. I have fallen back into temptation to pornography a few times over the years, with increased frequency this past summer correlating to feelings of loneliness and depression after having lost touch with many of my close friends after moving to a new state. The biggest reason I want to quit is because I am Catholic and believe that this is a sin. I don't believe it's a mortal sin for me, on account of the nature of addiction negates individual free will, but I want to overcome it so that I can start living an empowered life pursuing virtue, which is another parallel I see between myself and Luke Skywalker. Also, it has started having adverse health effects, including pain and rawness in *that* area for the next day after I fall (on certain occasions). Things I have tried previously to overcome addiction have included men's chastity groups with close friends where we would hold eachother accountable. The most effective thing I did was in January, a program called Exodus 90, where you quit cold-turkey from a number of things, including media, social media, sweets, alcohol, and secular music for 90 days to overcome sexual addictions. I quit the program after a week because I felt like the nature of the program was tearing me away from my friendships, but it was super effective. For twenty one days after I quit, I did not fall into temptation. But alas, now my addiction is back, and I cannot seem to overcome it. I look forward to the mutual support I hope to expect from the members of this site, and will keep you guys in my prayers.
Hi Luke It sounds like you have been quite rough on your penis! There are two possible reasons for this (or a combination): (1) Edging is masturbating up to the edge of orgasm, then stopping to cool things down, then revving up again. This can go on for extended periods, even several hours. Overtime this can cause damage to the penis including pain and rawness. (2) Death Grip is a tight-fisted grip on the penis when masturbating. Because it is much more constricted than the grip of a vagina or anus, the death grip overstimulates the penis, which reduces pleasure in the long run with pain and rawness. If you have a moral obligation to clean up your act before God, then you need to do monk mode. This would be no porn, no masturbation, no orgasm (apart from a wet dream). It might also include unplugging from any media which could contain sexual imagery, including television, YouTube, and social media. Monk mode rebooters might abstain from losing themselves in sexual fantasy by instituting a “three second rule” for having any sex thoughts.
Hi there, You're very brave sharing your story with the people here. You really want to beat this, so if you need any help, just ask buddy There are some very nice and helpful guys (and girls) around here to help you. Nobody will judge you or laugh at you, only help you ! All my best and stay strong !
Luke! I will give you so much credit friend for being brave enough to join this community to finally begin fighting your inner demons! I just joined tonight as well and have posted an introduction message of my own! I haven't quite been dealing with this issue for as long as you have, but my struggles are just as deep. I will be praying for you, myself and everyone in this community, Christian or Non-Christian as we work to break free and get rid of this nasty addiction for good! Have a good evening my Christian brother! Going to go watch WS Game 7 and will check back in with all of this tomorrow evening.
First time have I joined an online community. Never thought something for this even existed. But absolutely right. It's time to fight our demons, that are always lurking in us. I have lately been doing nothing but going to work, coming back and PMOing. The whole day is a drag. To an extent, sometimes I even feel "excited" to be going back home from a party or a group or gathering just so that I can watch some porn and rub one out. All that is doing is building up on my inner dissatisfactions - and suppressing certain sad aspects of my thoughts. Until the day I am unable to bear it and even porn wont help. I have been through such phases in life before. And I often realised that the solution is to stop. But never did I succeed. With this community, I hope to find some strength from all you guys out there. Looking to get back out there and experiencing life, feelings and thoughts in a new and positive way!
