I’m in such a dark place, feeling so empty.

Thank you so much for reaching out. You are so right too. He is in the restoration business and I know the same power that raised Jesus from the dead is fighting for my marriage. I have surrendered my marriage to God and asked him to work in it, change us, and our hearts. I am keeping my wife in prayer, but she also has moved a little away from a god I feel like. She has had a very worldly view on our marriage and has been focused just on her happiness. And her friends have been telling her, if your unhappy, get out. So I know she has to surrender herself and her marriage to god. She has to ask for his will and ask for help to live it out as well. I know if she chooses not to, god won’t trump free will. But I’m leaving her softens her heart and leads her back to him.

About your situation I’m sorry to hear your separated too. That’s interesting that your still living together, but probably for the best! If I could do it over I’m sure not if I would move out. It can go either way from there, either make you miss the person or make divorce that much easier. I have tried to look at this the way you have as well. A time for me to heal. But being 30 years old and living with my mom is kind of depressing. But I do have a lot of time to rest, read the Bible, watch sermons, and go to the gym that I didn’t have before.

God can heal and restore all things. I try to keep telling myself I’m not waiting on my wife, I’m waiting on God.

 

Yes stay strong and resist! If we do I believe it’s like working out in the gym. You go higher in weights and reps, you get stronger.

If you resist temptation during hard times, your brain will remmeber you didn’t give in, you get stronger!

 

Sexual urges and depression are VERY high today. I want to be around people and be social because I am so lonely, however at the same time I want to be alone. I have been driving around town some today and have had thoughts about turning my car into a tree or a pole...

 

It’s hard to keep fighting. It seems so much easier to just give up. I mean the battle of no PmO and the battle of loosing my family, is just getting to be too much to handle. Praying and praying and praying and praying... and I’m running out of strength to even pray.

 

Thank you for your post. But yes we have had space. I actually moved out so we haven’t lived together in almost 3 months now. We have actually talked about my pmo habits and she seemed to barely even care. Like she doesn’t think it affected her feelings toward me and at first said she thought it was normal and that all guys did it. I had to keep telling her how much of a problem it was and show her a lot of information online.