how/ when will your look at ladies be different?

First step is taking out the black and white thinking. You don't see women as EITHER a person OR body parts. You see a person WITH body parts. It's normal for your brain to see butts, boobs, legs, pretty faces, certain proportions of body part sizes, as arousing. It's normal probably because of some mixture of evolutionary biology and social conditioning, and who knows exactly what degree both of those factors influence us. Hard to say.

Forgive yourself for liking a woman's butt when she walks by. You're with the vast majority of men on the planet. If you can validate this as a normal experience, the guilt will reduce a bit. With the guilt having reduced, you can think more clearly.

One helpful thing is to try to go with a 3 second rule. Let your eyes follow a body part for about 3 seconds, then look away. See if you can reduce to 2 seconds, then 1. Also be mindful of the age of the person. If your eyes automatically track the butt of an 18 year old, and a 17 year old, all the way down to a 13 year old, probably time to retrain those eye behaviors. Go in public and practice sitting on a bench or something and let women walk by while your eyes are in the middle area of the sidewalk. Notice the urges to have your eyes move toward body parts. Focus on your breath or sensations in your body, or try to distract yourself with other thoughts.

These things take practice. But overall I think the biggest issue is the amount of shame you have associated with feeling sexual arousal. That's not healthy in my opinion.

 

I don't even think fantasizing about having sex with someone is objectifying them. Also, thoughts and feelings don't harm people. You can feel horny and think "I want to fuck that girl silly," but that doesn't hurt them, or yourself. As long as you don't violate someone's rights you're fine. If you're in a relationship or out dating and you only see women as people to have sex with, and they're only consenting sex plus intimacy plus intellectual chemistry etc, then you're being manipulative.

 

It happens. I'm too tired to explain it much, but it does happen and it's awesome. I still get weird random sexual thoughts about women I see/talk to, but they (1) seem ridiculous, and (2) are easily dismissed. The vast majority of any sexual thoughts I have are about my wife. The vast majority of those are about a unitive sexuality - a healthy one that enriches our love. Everything else I shut down immediately and mostly easily, and take to the confessional on Tuesdays.

I found in the first few months I sort of went backwards through my history of sexual tastes.

 

Triggers fade, and ultimately disappear. The only thing that recently triggered me at all - and triggered may be the wrong word; turned-on might be more accurate - was a photo for an article about female homosexual attraction in my facebook feed. It was two attractive women lying on a bed in their underwear kissing. I scrolled past quickly just to be safe, but two things are noteworthy. One is that I characterize this more as being aroused, than triggered. The second is that the level of arousal from this one small, still picture, of women clothed enough for a news article caused substantial arousal. That indicates a pretty much total reversal of two decades of porn and sexual role play induced escalation.

 

I've noticed over time that I look at women differently on NoFap then when I used to be on PMO. Same goes with my thinking. My views of objectification have decreased significantly over time. I have minimal issues keeping eye contact with an attractive women or even looking at an attractive women's butt, breasts, etc. for a long period of time. How long did it take me? I've been on an off NoFap all year long until 18 days ago. I feel at this point I do look at women differently and in a positive way.