Hire a therapist as accountability partner

In a book I'm reading, Neuroscience of addiction, it talks about how if somebody has crossed that certain point of addiction, with alcohol or drugs for example, if they are hooked bad enough, then there does need to be a containment period where that person is contained within some kind of hospitalization or group home that restricts them completely from alcohol or drugs for a period of time.

But like you said above, simply cutting off the supply of whatever the person is addicted to: is Not Enough by itself. That's just the starting point. Kind of like a very unbehaved dog that bites people: first you contain the dog in a cage, then you can start working with the dog to get to the root cause of the dogs bad behavior.

Based on neuroscience ( the brain views substance addiction and behavioral addiction very similarly), it seems I'm not going to make any real progress with porn until I initially contain porn access.

If we're talking about alcohol or drug abuse, of course you don't contain the person forever, just long enough for that person to get some traction under their belt and start moving in the right direction towards recovery and then you slowly start to give them their freedom back: but very cautiously knowing that they are high risk.

 

So if I do choose to get into therapy, Now isn't the time. First I should contain p*** access somehow. Just not sure how to do that: p*** blockers I can't imagine our super effective, because then I would probably just go on Instagram or something.

 

"My PMO driven brain not allowing the conscious mind to get a thought in."

I see you met your "addictbrain." That super smooth, master storyteller, like a second entity within you.

40 days is great. I wonder though, if you need to be on guard for the rest of your life. That is to say: once you cross that line and have truly been hooked by an addiction, you are always at risk of going back. Like the person who was an alcoholic 20 years ago, but not now. They say: I've been sober for 20 years, I can have one drink. So they have that one drink, and then their "addicbrain" that they thought was gone, but in fact was only dormant; and that one drink drags them back down that rabbit hole again.

I'm sure you know this, but once your brain chemistry has been changed by addiction, your addiction is never gone, even though it feels like it is when you're having those good days. But your addiction is only sleeping.

Three or four years ago I was drinking way too much pop and coffee. So, somehow, I managed to quit cold turkey, after several attempts of course. And I went about a year and a half with no caffeine. Was completely out of my system. So I thought I would slowly enjoy a Mountain Dew or coffee every once in awhile again. So I did. Long story short, I sure wish when I had that year and a half of caffeine sobriety I would have just left it alone: because now not only am I drinking pop and coffee again, but it's quite out of control. The one good thing about having to requit caffeine again, this time I better understand how addiction works.

One final note, and this is kind of interesting: most people who are addicted to something, are usually addicted to more than one thing. Kind of like how, for example, it's not uncommon that someone who is an alcoholic will also smoke cigarettes.

 

I think another thing I read is: when you quit an addiction, you got to be careful because you're susceptible to replace that addiction you quit, with something else.

My diet was really bad, so I had to lose like 50 lb. And I did lose the weight by eating "clean." I replaced the junk food, with clean eating and working out. So I guess you could argue that I quit one addiction, the junk food, and replace the junk food with: caffeine.

 

The "once an addict always an addict", I don't know if that applies for pmo. I was perhaps, going for a little dramatic effect there. I'm pretty damn sure it does apply for alcohol though, and hard drugs.

One thing I've noticed, it doesn't take long, just 24 to 48 hours of not using porn or looking at sleazy crap, and just like that I feel mentally, a lot better. It's funny how it doesn't take long at all to feel better about yourself with just one day of sobriety with no porn.

Agreed: most everyone, at least lots of people use porn.

It's not uncommon that I'll drink at least a six pack of pop per day. And that's not including however many cups of coffee I had before that. So maybe you can see why I should probably just stop all together.

One problem though, caffeine, or even soda, it's not like it's cigarette. Pretty obvious these days why one shouldn't smoke. But caffeine in moderation for most people is fine. So there's that fine line of: technically I don't need to quit, I could learn to drink it in moderation, but I have abused caffeine so long that I'm not sure I can drink it in moderation. We all have our vices, mine might be caffeine.

I do have too much time on my hands during the week, I should do like you and get an extra job, I don't remember if you said you have an extra job but you said you work a lot.

Because, it's really hard to quit something if you don't replace that habit with something else. So that probably is the way to go, or at least one way to go.

 

Chugging some water when I normally might reach for the soda, does help a little. But it's also kind of like: telling an alcoholic to just grab a Diet Pepsi.

There appears to be evidence, if you will, that too much diet soda is not great for the liver. Along with your teeth, and other way it negatively affects the body. Also, not to mention the financial aspect, not that soda is too expensive but I just assumed not spend money on it. And of course finally: feeling like a slave, the crashes, Etc.

I don't drink alcohol, there's a part of me afraid that eventually I'll get hooked on it the way I'm hooked on caffeine. Kind of silly in a way, but I just don't want to put it to the test, at all. So I just flat out don't drink.

Anyways, long story short, I'm going to caffeine addiction AA: I'm going to work with a dietitian. Maybe most people function this way, in general, but to really make a change: I tend to need some accountability in my corner. Also, factor in the financial aspect, which is actually really important for making a change: to have some skin in the game so to speak. I've mentioned that briefly before, but that skin in the game, actually paying somebody, suddenly makes it "real." Kind of puts me in a spot where it's like: all right, this is officially for real, got to take this serious. Pretty much all the things I've said about no pmo, except now we're talking about compulsive soda consumption/ caffeine.

And I really don't want to switch to Tea, then am I just going to get hooked on tea? No, just want to drop caffeine, tea, coffee, pop, Etc, all that stuff. Just get to a point where I just drink water.

If by studying something you mean reading books, yes I read books. I am hesitant to go back to school if that's what you mean. Besides the financial cost, don't even know what I would study. My game plan is just to max out my 401k, IRA, and HSA, every year. Just till I get to a point where the compounding interest can work for me.

Would you agree that one of the most important aspects of getting in control of no pmo is: mindfulness?

 

Being aware enough and present enough to catch those sleazy thoughts before they hijack your brain.

 

Kind of like the "3 second rule" when you drop food on the ground. It's something similar with erotic thoughts: most people have three to five seconds, or so, to realize that they are dwelling on those thoughts that will lead to a pmo session. If they can catch themselves within that 3 to 5 Seconds and stop thinking about it, generally the erotic thought won't hijack the brain, and therefore a pmo session does not happen.

But I think that is generally more or less true, and I heard a doctor say this before too, a doctor on the internet that is: you have a few seconds to correct yourself after you have those erotic thoughts, before your brain gets hooked and you go into a pmo session. So if you do find yourself thinking about it, it's like quicksand, you have a precious few seconds to get out of it.

Hence, why mindfulness is important.

 

Getting a PhD in the US: hahaha.

I don't know which country you're from, but have you heard this expression from the United States, I'm sure you have: "student loan crisis."

Those acronyms you weren't familiar with: 401k, IRA, HSA. Those are retirement/ health cost saving plans. What I was saying about them in an earlier post is that: I would be better off aggressively throwing lots of money into those retirement accounts then I would be going back to school.

But you are right about there are less/ more reasonable educational choices that are more doable if I had the desire to go back to school which I don't. It really has nothing to do with desire, for my current Life Game Plan I just don't think that would be a wise decision. But it's still a good idea for the right person, just perhaps not me at this time.

And I lied about my pop consumption when I said I only drink a six pack a day. I added up the ounces from yesterday, and I drank equivalent of 18 cans of pop. Before the day is over today, I'll have had over 10 cans of pop / energy drinks.

In recovery, I don't know the exact expression, but change happens when somebody is finally: sick and tired of being sick and tired (with their respected addiction, what ever it is).

At this rate, I'm going to have a freaking heart attack. At the very least, if I keep this up my liver is being harmed, I know that much. Mathematically, there's no way in hell this story has a happy ending. This Behavior needs to stop. I recognize this behavior is very very unhealthy. Thats why I'm confident that I will be able to quit drinking pop and coffee all together and energy drinks; (once I officially pull the trigger in a few days and start the quitting process. Right now I'm kind of just putting together a common sense game plan to help ensure success). Because I fully recognize this behavior is very very unhealthy.

And how does that all apply to no pmo? Well it's pretty straightforward, if my caffeine consumption is that out of control why the hell should I think that can get pmo within control/ stopped.

Yes when I talk about mindfulness Within pmo, that's what I'm talking about: those few seconds that you have to catch yourself dwelling on erotic thoughts. Practicing mindfulness in your everyday life, in other words, being aware of what you're thinking about. So that when inevitably you do eventually start thinking about those erotica thoughts, you can catch it very quickly within a few seconds and take action to stop thinking about that which may cause you to relapse.

 

Speaking of relapse, I did have a pmo relapse. More like three times recently. The funny thing is: it's not even enjoyable.

I really don't care what happens during this year 2024. I only have two things that I'm really sick and tired of, and once 2025 hits these will hopefully just be out of my life.

Caffeine and porn stuff.

 

I unintentionally took a little break from this website as went through the process of quitting caffeine/ coffee / pop / energy drinks, cold turkey. I'm pleased to announce that it's been about 13 straight days sober, and I have no desire to use caffeine anymore. If only NoFap was that easy, 2 weeks and it's out of your system both physically and psychologically.

As far as nofap, this is kind of what I'm working on right now: no internet pornography/ sleazy stuff. However, anything else is fair game: masturbation, or if I'm watching a movie and there's nudity I can look Etc.

Within this NoFap community, this approach may be looked down upon. But I'll tell you, it's working for me. I have not used the internet for looking at sleazy crap in 2 weeks, and I really have no desire to either. Sometimes one battle at a time works best.

Something that I think has been helping with not using the internet for sleazy crap anymore is this fact: there really is no private browsing. If you want to think of it as "big brother is always watching."

So when I think about it like that, that someone is kind of always watching your internet browsing, because its true, it's a lot easier to just use the internet as if my family and relatives, Etc get to see everything that I look up on the internet. Which of course keeps me on my best behavior.

So like quitting caffeine, and how your body and mind slowly just adapt to the fact that you don't have this stimulant anymore. Your mind and body learns to live without it. I'm kind of getting that same vibe as im not using the internet for sleazy stuff anymore. My mind and body are slowly adapting and learning to live without it.

How is the fight going with you? If you don't mind me asking, which country are you from?