Guys that are against online dating, where do you go to meet women?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Kman20, Apr 29, 2019.

  1. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    I get the potential risk with the online dating app format and how online dating has an overall reputation. I’m probably not going to try it just because I don’t like how it works. But how do you guys who don’t use tinder,bumble, okcupid etc find women ?

    Where do you go ?
     
    Vicanjel likes this.
  2. Roffelaar

    Roffelaar Fapstronaut

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    How about in real life?

    Just search the term 'daygaming'. Takes courage to do it, but if you get used to it and learn how to do it properly, it's so easy to meet any girl. In my opinion, the BEST way.
    With the pussification of todays generation, girls rarily get approached by guys. So when you do approach them, they are surprised and flattered and very excited.
    Not talking about the creepy back alley faggots that ask girls to suck their dick. Don't be a creep
     
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  3. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Temporarily Suspended

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    Literally anywhere. Oddest place I managed to get a date from was the grocery store. Just be polite and straightforward.
     
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  4. Blackest_Sheep000

    Blackest_Sheep000 New Fapstronaut

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    I am against online dating because if you ain’t Chad then you’ll be having a depressingly sad experience on online dating apps.

    If you look average then that’s pretty much that for you online.

    A few tips I’ve got from superior looking male colleagues are:
    1. Have at least one pic where you are professionally dressed and the background is inside an office or some business looking place.
    2. Have at least one shirtless pic showing off your abs/physique
    3. Have at least one picture of you climbing a mountain or on some sort of adventure
    4. Have at least one picture with lots of guy friends

    Bonus points for at least one picture where you’re smiling with females (friends/acquaintances/colleagues or whatever) and for at least one picture with your pet dog/cat.

    These tips above can bring you some success but most of the time between two guys with resembling online profiles with identical bios (no one reads them anyway) and similar pics, 8/10 times the guy with the better looking face will be swiped right upon compared to the guy with the lesser facial features.

    I agree with the users above me. Try Real Life and go outside and see what can happen. The online dating world is even more cruel for you if you’re a minority male. (There’s research and solid evidence on the Internet confirming that Women tend to have a strong racial bias when looking for a guy online)

    Also, a final word on the word “Creep”
    This word is increasingly being used by women nowadays and anyone can be labeled such. When you ask them they’ll reply with something like “Well because he just is one!”

    IMHO Creep is a subjective term and 8/10 times if you look like Brad Pitt, Leo DiCaprio, Tom Cruise or Paul Walker you won’t get labeled a “Creep” even if you do the creepiest thing imaginable and would most likely get a pass or labeled something less egregious. From my personal experience women use the term Creep most of the times for an unattractive man who’s making moves on them (sometimes in a very bad manner and shame on the guy for being stupid enough to do that!)
     
  5. mcp8419

    mcp8419 Fapstronaut

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    I wouldn't say I'm against online dating but I would say from experience I haven't had any success in receiving a positive response from girls.

    It's quite difficult for me as preferably for my family's sake I am looking for a girl of particular race/ethnicity but rather scarce where I live and I am unwilling to move too far away from my family.

    The whole online approach is similar to searching for a job where people are looking for something ideal for them within a certain distance unless you are willing to move away.

    I haven't had any success in meeting girls outside of online dating either, but I would imagine it's all about initiation and interacting with people in general without expecting anything and being prepared for rejection without taking it personally. They say you will find someone when you least expect it but I think it's all about initiation across multiple forms of communication, whether it's online or in a public place.
     
    Casey54 likes this.
  6. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah figured I’d be doing this in public places. Feels intrusive at times though and don’t want to be labeled as a creep for approaching a girl thats working or just minding her own business in public.
     
  7. mcp8419

    mcp8419 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah it's tough, you never know what the girl is thinking but there's no harm in sparking conversation, asking questions and if possible, keeping it going with some gentle humour, I've done it a few times with a girl who was a cashier at my local bank. I just said I like your hair (because it looked distinctive). It never developed further but I return every other week and see her there and she would always smile, as if she remembered me by the compliment. It gave me some confidence at least.
     
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  8. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    You just walked up and asked for her number ?
     
  9. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    I like to go to places and events where there's a certain theme. This just makes it easier to spark up a conversation...

    Things like weekend food markets, art shows, cultural events, libraries, fitness classes, etc.

    One place that got me a lot more comfortable with talking with women, and just being around them in general, was dance classes. Highly recommend this one!

    Whatever you choose though, it has to be genuine. Go to the food markets to get your groceries, and you might chat with a girl about how hard it is to find organic produce... Go to a class that you're genuinely interested in learning - and go with that as your primary goal. Meeting women is nice but not your main goal. This will allow you to enjoy yourself just by being there (which is attractive).

    Alternatively, speed dating is a great alternative to online dating which I think deserves a real comeback...

    Whatever reservations you might have, I would give it a try at least once. The nerves quickly dissolve and you'll meet over a dozen women - who are actually single and looking - in one night.

    Finally, everyday approaches can and do work. This is something new for me, but I have seen it work first hand with friends. All I will say here is while it may take more confidence, it's by far the most efficient and most natural way to meet a future partner. Best of luck!
     
    Kman20 likes this.
  10. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    I've been thinking something very similar lately... Lots of guys just don't have a deep voice nor do they want to stand for anything. Hard to explain, but the older generations of guys generally seem more masculine.

    Kind of like getting your shit together as a younger guy is a cheat code these days? Nothing too complicated, just working on the basics?
     
  11. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I actually want to make this something I regularly do without hesitation and to alsk build confidence. I feel my fear of rejection substantially limits my enjoyment of life so I am using this as therapy as well not just finding someone.

    Speed dating would be fun, seems very old school though. I appreciate that practical advice. I’ve been doing meetups and those seem like a perfect way to implement what you’re saying.
     
    Reborn16 likes this.
  12. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    What do you mean by working on the basics? And what does it actually mean to have your shit together ?
     
  13. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Temporarily Suspended

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    Yes. Say hi, introduce yourself and ask her out.
     
  14. Dr. Mario

    Dr. Mario Fapstronaut

    81120141219134.gif
     
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  15. i am a 27 year old woman and got approached by a 17 year old boy a month ago while waiting for the bus, it was def a no but funny lol. he showed more courage than guys my age @Kman20 much better approaching girls in real life, fake it until you make it if you are a bit afraid (don't approach girls saying something direspectful obviously) even the apparent most confident person does not feel very confident at times, getting out of my comfort zone is always rewarding,
    a video I love about it :)



    d. apps are bad, highly addictive (not good for p. and s. addicts, superficial, fighting with competition in the dating scene , likely that girl is already seeing other guys too, it is not a good start for a nice relationship, something worth it) kill real and spontaneous relationship when you meet a girl naturally, via a friend, at a party, at a bookstore, coffee shop. everywhere there are ads on these apps. was disturbing to see a bit for me but I know real life is much better, that is the healthy way
     
  16. mcp8419

    mcp8419 Fapstronaut

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    I tried speed dating about a year ago without any luck. It was a fun and nervy experience. I didn't get any matches or positive feedback. I think it's too fast paced and at the end I found that the girls matched with the tall good looking guys, which is the opposite of me. It's not for everyone but worth a shot.
     
    Kman20 likes this.
  17. SolitaryScribe

    SolitaryScribe Fapstronaut

  18. zombieslayer

    zombieslayer Fapstronaut

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    Looks aren’t actually what determines if a guy is a creep. The help, but when a girl says “creep,” usually it’s at a guy who is really nervous and doesn’t explain why he is nervous. They get a bad feeling about him and think he’s creepy. The more you talk to girls, the less nervous you’ll get. Slowly. If you are nervous, just fucking tell them you’re nervous because you don’t approach girls a lot. Just wanted to address this because I disagree with what that other guy said.
     
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  19. Roffelaar

    Roffelaar Fapstronaut

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    Hahaha, love that. A friend of mine mainly approaches women much and much older than himself. He is into older women, but it does work for him. 17 years old is quite young, but who knows what kind of success that guy has :)
     
  20. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    I mean it very generally, a lot of guys don't look after themselves. They don't have that motivation to improve the man they were last year.

    They may have left the house without brushing their teeth and combing their hair. Their clothes don't fit. When they walk they look at the ground, and when they talk they use their higher pitched voice (head voice vs chest voice). They may spend hours on computer games instead of exercise. And of course, watch porn instead of pursuing women or their interests.

    It seems to me, that many guys are letting a few of these areas go to shit. Most guys don't want to date any women who let their weight get out of control. And on the same token, women don't want to date any guys who have 'Peter Pan' syndrome.

    To have one's shit together is a bit subjective I guess. But I would say any man who takes action to improve his life is well on his way.
     
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