Godly confidence!

Hey there guys! Thank you all for your continued support it means a lot. I'm glad you all enjoy reading my post as much as I enjoy reading yours. Sorry I haven't updated in a long time I've been busy with school and I got bumped up from working 20 hours a week to 30 a week. The past few weeeks have been pretty crazy but I'm extremely happy with life right now.

So to break all the suspense here we go..

How was the basketball game? I wouldn't know, I never actually went. Even though she got it cleared by her coach earlier, turns out gym girl had to dance for halftime at our schools basketball game or she'd get booted from the team. Obviously when she told me this I wasn't happy about it but I wasn't upset either. She offered to pay for the tickets so I didn't waste my money, being the gentleman that everyone should be I politely said no but thank you for the offer. She had caught me at the gym when she talked to me about it so I just went on with my workout as normal. Other than a a few texts a couple weeks ago I haven't talked to her really at all since that day and I'm not exactly sure why. Our schedules match up horribly this term so we don't have much time to hang out and I noticed I was usually initiating all of the plans so I stopped and decided that if she respected me as a friend as much as she says that she would take initiative to make some plans with me too. Well it turns out she may not be as honest as I had thought, or maybe she just feels some sort of shame or guilt not being able to go to the game. Even though this doesn't sound like a happy story any way I put it, things couldn't have worked out more perfectly for me than they did. Spending this much time apart from her I started to realize that she had a really negative view on life and was constantly stressed out and running around and while we had great intellectual conversations, they often distracted us from our assignments sometimes for days if we studied together daily.

So now I'm much happier, get my assignments done, and I am a lot less stressed out because I am around people with more positive energy. I've also gotten unglued from my phone which is a great feeling. Now my phone stays in my pocket for the most part and I only send about 10-15 texts a day. That's damn near nothing when I look around campus at the other people.

The best part of it all is I've been talking to another girl and things are going amazing with her. The week after i was supposed to go to the basketball game I came into american sign language class and sitting right between my friends and the chair I always sit in is the most gorgeous red head I've had the good fortune of meeting. I'd seen her eyeball me a couple times in class and she'd usually pick me out for a partner when we did activities. So me being the sly devil that I am started up a conversation with her (all in sign language of course) and we talked a bit before class. During class she kept writing down little questions about things she wanted to know about me like my major/minor all that fun stuff so we wrote back and forth for a bit. At the end of class I signed to her that I need someone to help me practice ASL (this is a bit untrue I have a bunch of friends I could practice ASL with) and asked for her number. She was more than happy to give it to me. Over the past few weeks we've hung out a couple times and studied once or twice together. We really mesh and shes really awesome. Shes active and is amazing at soccer which is both our favorite sports to play and shes a challenge to play against on the field I've come to learn. But she's also really funny and enjoys the same super sarcastic dry humor that I do, but is still an extremely kind person at the same time. Shes also extremely well mannered and respectful which is hard to find in many people these days. We played some soccer the other day and then after work I went to her dorm and we hung out and watched some movies with her roommates and she held my hand and cuddled with me during the movies until about 3 in the morning until I left. So as I said things are going pretty awesome!

Main points:
Did it suck what happened with gym girl? I mean you really liked her right? Yes I did really like her, quite a bit, and yes it did hurt for about a day and a half until I realized I am anonymous mother'fukin bearcat and I am unstoppable.
Did it feel good to have my heart shaken up like that? Nope, not at the time. But I lived through it, moved on and have a new set of goals.
How can I be so positive about all of this stuff? Because nofap has given me the confidence to set goals and try to achieve them and if I fail I pick myself back up, set higher goals and try again. I control everything that has happened to me and I control everything that will happen to me, I am the only limiting factor in the equation that is my own happiness.

Final point: NoFap has turned me into a beast and it will turn you into one also. Back when I PMO'd i never would have thought that 4 days after things not working out with a girl an even more gorgeous girl would come along and blow me away and its happened twice. I'm pretty sure it will work out this time but if not it will only shape me into a better person in the process.

Keep your heads up guys, you can get through anything you just have to believe that you can.

 

So I went to ASL club tonight with ASL girl and went back to her dorm to hang out with her and her friends afterwards. we all ended up watching a movie (some chick flick about singing but I was the only guy in the room) and it wasn't actually that bad it was actually pretty funny. Anyways after the movie we all sat around talking for a while and then I was getting ready to leave and realized its pouring rain outside so she offered me a ride home so I wouldn't have to walk. After thanking her for a wonderful night i gave her a hug and scored the first kiss.

#Winning

 

Thanks for all the kind words guys! I'm glad you continue to find inspiration in my posts I'm glad they can offer inspiration for you all.

So update, asl girl is coming over to have dinner and play some board games with my roommate, his girlfriend and I. She's also bringing a paper over for me to help her out with (I'm a pretty awesome writer) so that should be pretty awesome. I'm going to be making some as a in style food and that's my dig so this dinners going to be bomb.

I also just finished a poster for my ecopsychology research for a conference in San Francisco later this year. I reviewed it with the professor that I did the research with and she said it was awesome. We edited it a little and then she told me she's heard ive been doing awesome and I'm going through the psych program really wuick so that really made me feel awesome.

Aside from that I'll be pulling an all nighter work in on a new experimental research project to present for my class on Tuesday. I'm about to kill this presentation and I'm going to set the bar pretty high for everyone that goes after me public speaking is where I shine.

Keep your heads up stay motivated and always believe in yourself you've got this. Have a good night guys!

 

So the girl from ASL class came over for dinner and it was awesome. She brought her roommates with her so it was a pretty big group for dinner. But after dinner her roommates left and we just hung out doing homework together and joking around. She definitely likes me a lot and I'm glad I had the confidence to kiss her the other night, I ended up getting a few more today.

I've never had this easy of a time with a girl before. It could just be the fact that we mesh really well, but I think a big part of it has to do with the nofap. I feel much more confident to "make moves" and I used to feel really awkward/shy if I was trying to hold someones hand with friends or roommates around but no it just feels natural and I don't get that awkward feeling at all.

Thanks guys for giving me the motivation to keep going without it I may not have made it this far.

 

So yesterday was valentines day, I'm sure you were all aware of that. Thursday night I hung out with ASL girl and took her out to dinner, then hung out with her and her roommates. Before I left I asked her if she wanted to do something on Saturday ((valentines day). Even though I know she really likes me a lot I thought asking her would feel kind of awkward (I love talking in front of people but with someone I like its a whole other ballgame) but it didn't and it actually came out really well. She said yes if she had time since I worked most of the day and it was her roommates birthday as well so they had tons of things already planned.

I went into it assuming we wouldn't be able to hang out before I went to work and I was right. This put a bit of a damper on my day but I kept my head up because I knew she really liked me and that she just had prior obligations that would be unfair to cancel.

To make things better I found out some other guy got her candy and a rose for valentines day. I didn't feel threatened by him at all even though he likes her they're just friends. She's told him before that shes not interested but also said she's not ready to date anyone yet, so he's taken that to mean he just has to wait. He doesn't really know about what's going on between me and ASL girl but we're going to tell him soon so he's not unintentionally strung along. I digress, the main point was that I didn't feel threatened by him, just that I like her and she likes me but I didn't get her anything (we've only been having out a few weeks and I just felt weird about getting her something) but it was just that someone else had gotten her something so she might wonder why I didn't
A few times throughout the night when I went back for some water I would reply to her snapchats and eventually asked if she wanted to hang out after work. She said she would love to but they were going to a movie that started at 9:45 which was right before I get off. I understood that it would be pretty late when they got out so I told her to have a great time at the movies. We also like to sign in asl to each other a lot so I signed her a video that said I wish I could see you for valentines day. Thinking she'd be busy getting ready for the movie I went back to work. About an hour later when I got home I check my phone and she said she wanted to see me after the show was over (score! I'd been hoping all day for this).

After the movie she called and asked me to go to a party with them. Being midnight I dropped the paper I was writing and got ready to party. We drove to the next town over about 20 minutes and got to the party, which ended up pretty lame. There was 11 people crammed into a tiny bedroom in a huge empty house, playing truth or dare. After about 5 minutes our group left and just went back to my house to drink instead. We played a few drinking games then started just talking and watching TV. ASL girl and I were cuddling on one couch while our friends were taking up the other 2 couches. I asked her if she wanted to stay with me when her friends left and in on the sweetest voice ever she said only if you want me to. I told her yes and then we went back to the conversation with the group. A few hours later around 4 or so her roommates left and we went to sleep. Went from having no valentines plans to getting to cuddle with the girl I'm interested in. From feeling weird and a little jealous to realizing I'm the only guy she's got eyes for. Last night was a pretty great turn of events.