Girls... Why are you so mean?

I don't think that you have at least met 5 girls.

 

Do you really get exactly same response from absolutely everyone you send message? 'Cause if you are, it sounds like you're getting automated response and you're on some kind of "blacklist" or something. (I don't know. I'm just guessing).
Have you asked from OKCupids support why you get this response from everybody?

 

I didn't say you send always same message. I asked do you get that "Don't harass me" response message from every girl and every time you send a message?

Again... Do you get the same "Don't harass me" response from more than one girl?

 

You're on a shit list! Welcome to the Club, Bro!

 

@bboyownz

I believe you have been banned from there. I noticed that a main problem is that: 'Why women think bad of me? I haven't done anything'.
I haven't read every post here but I think I understood the main point. I'll say something from my experience if I may. I am not saying it's bad but in most cases dating via Internet is not a good idea. Let me explain. I started doing this also before I asked girl from 'real world' to a date. So basically, my first date was from the Internet. The whole idea of dating in this way happened to me shortly after I've begun to watch porn/masturbate. If I could change it now, I would never touch that kind of dating. Why? It's because my angle on every women is still looking bad. I think that most of them want to treat me in bad way, act rude or just avoid me when I just open my mouth to say something. Of course PM is one side but combined with this gives the result that you think about such situations in the way you wrote.
During a few years, I kept coming back to online dating after short breaks to see if there are someone new, because I realised that I haven't met anyone in real world. There were new women acting very similar to each other. I met some of them online, it was generally nice but you're saying that you got that kind of message. Now I am free from this over 1 year and I won't be back there. At this point I am proud of making that step because a couple months ago I diagnosed social anxiety and I am currently under CBT and I have to cure everything before I'll start dating to other women - but this time only from real life.
I'll tell you - sometimes as close as you can get is your display. Because let's face it - on the Internet you're almost invincible so you also can be trolling/being rude/looking for someone to be entertained etc. You can do nothing about it. Instead of it, one thing you could do and that is to accept the truth. Sometimes FALSE looks like TRUTH but just better/nicer decorated to avoid being detected. You have to decide what does this mean to you. Basically do not get too emotional about this, because it happened to me often too and to other millions of people. Women have a lot of reasons being there and the list of it is limited but long as hell.
I don't know if I sound clear, it's late here. I tried as hard as I could. My post and ideas in it are not to be accepted/denied but to be just considered - how much truth is here.
Greetings and take care!

 

How do you know this person reported you? You said every message you're sending you get a warning not to send harassing messages. To me that just sounds like an automated system detecting you messaging a lot of people in a short period of time or using certain words that they've caught before in harassing messages. It doesn't sound like the result of someone reporting you to me. If it is someone reporting you, there's no way to say it's this girl. In fact, if the message popped up while writing to her, then you know it's NOT her, and was someone you were talking to previously.

If they did report you, it's like someone else said, it was probably because they just wanted to block you and felt that was the best way. Look, every single girl online, especially on dating sites, has to deal with an endless amount of creeps and assholes all day long. You have to really stand out if you want to be worth their time to talk to, because they have so many guys talking to them already, and most of them aren't that great - so they're tired and bored of regular responses, boring people, and creeps etc. You have to prove you're neither boring nor creepy very quickly if you don't want to simply be ignored, or blocked.

Just imagine 50 people from NoFap all started messaging you every single day. Most of them just said "Hi". Some of them sent you dick pics, for absolutely no reason. Others were rude to you, or sexually harassed you. Most were boring and plain.

How long are you going to keep replying to them before you just start ignoring everyone who starts a PM to you with just "Hi" and nothing else?

...because that's a reality for girls online, and so just "not being an asshole" isn't always grounds for the conversation to keep going. She probably has a whole bunch of other messages, and if you haven't said anything interesting to stand out, or if she just decided you weren't a good match based on your profile - then it's natural that she'd either stop replying or block you.

Don't take it personally, just like you, girls have preferences on who they date and interact with. Just "not being an asshole" doesn't qualify you to be someone they're interested in. Some of them will be interested in you. Others won't - and those who aren't, are doing you a favour by just blocking/removing you right away rather than stringing you along with a conversation when they have no interest.

Honestly, and I don't mean any offence by this - but if you're this riled up by one girl on a dating site not wanting to have a conversation with you, then that attitude is probably coming across in your messages to girls. It's the kind of attitude you find in messages from the lovely bunch of guys you find in posts in /r/niceguys/ - and it's not attractive in the slightest.

Not everyone's going to like you, don't let it get to you. You do you, and find someone that does like you. If someone isn't interested and they leave the conversation/block you/whatever, they've done you a favour: they've saved you time you would have otherwise wasted on someone who wasn't a match for you. So be grateful for it and move on to the next match! Keep trying and you'll have plenty of success, you got this dude!

 

It isn't always a luxury. As mentioned earlier, women have to deal with tons of messages from guys and some of them might be creeps, boring guys, misogynists and sexists, rapists looking for their next victim... It's a lot to deal with. To say it's a luxury is sort of an incorrect statement.

 

I can tell you now that a relationship requires equal sacrifice from both parties in order to be successful and healthy, and I'm gonna guess that you'd probably find more success on those sites if you didn't project such a toxic vibe

 

Some girls can be really bitchy and hateful for no reason and some can be really sweet and caring. get to know and be with the kind ones. The kind ones will treat you sweetly but be a total bitch to people who harm you mentally and physically cause they care lol.

 

Forget on-line. The odds are the women on-line are low quality. Improve yourself, and meet girls in the real world.

Here's an example. I'm now sitting in Starbucks next to three lovely ladies, one of which I just got her phone number. How? They were laughing rambunctiously taking selfies. I looked at them slightly annoyed. The woman smiled flirtatiously. I seized the moment, smiled and asked where she was from. She came over. We chatted. Got her number. Simple.

It's easy enough to do this. Women want to meet men. Just be clear headed and step up to the plate.

 

A better question is why would you want to kill yourself over this? It's best to avoid extremes when it comes to beliefs. Things like "All women..." or "I'll never..." are ways to pigeonhole yourself and others into unfair categories/labels.

Sometimes people are asshoels and sometimes people are nice. It's just how life goes. Don't let it rob you of your joy.

 

Honestly, I wouldn't put too much thought and effort into figuring this out. I forgot who said this but I think its funny "men, don't try to understand women, because women understand women and they hate each other"

on another note people are just assholes in general it doesn't matter what they got between their legs. so with that being said so some girl decided to be a bitch. oh well, that shouldn't have any bearing on you. if I was to say that you're a fucking moron and I hate you go die... you might take offense to that but once again that shouldn't have any bearing on you what so ever. because, when and if that has any bearing on your personal life that's it game over man they won! don't give the asshole the satisfaction of winning. so someone doesn't wanna talk to you fine whatever I am quite sure that the probability of finding someone that wants to talk to is very high no sense in dwelling on it.

I think a lot of what the problem is especially in today's world. everyone walks around with a chip on their shoulder. everyone takes things too seriously, everyone is too goddamn sensitive, everyone is perpetually offended and pathologically butthurt. me personally I find humor in it because I make jokes about everything because humor is one of those things that can transcend boundaries. if you cant laugh and make jokes about something then you live in a tyranny.

side note (my opinion) Okcupid, and tinder and all those other sites are just fucking lame. there is just no substitution for talking to someone in person no matter where you are. at least when you talk to someone you can actually greet them with more than just "sup" also to certain guys who do this stop putting girls on a pedestal and worshipping them. I've seen way too many guys do this and gotten crushed/used/abused so stop doing it!

 

The power is all with the women today because men have lost all self-control and run around drooling over the most idiotic girls.

 

Apps like OkCupid, Tinder, and ect always bring this image to mind...

 

> the luxury of many men messaging me

...that's not a luxury when 90% of them are creeps and idiots. When half the people she calls friends have probably jerked off to her Facebook pictures. When there is a distinct possibility of being raped or seriously hurt by any guy she meets.

A man is absolutely not powerless. It takes very little effort for a guy to stand out above the 90% when the 90% are so dull and toxic. If you put the effort in to do that, you will instantly become a much more attractive and appealing person to women.

Let's be real here. If any woman read the post you just made - do you think they'd want to be around you after you said that? Of course not, that's a toxic attitude. You're one of the 90%. Okay, so you probably haven't copy-pasted your post into any of your conversations on OkCupid, but I GUARANTEE that your attitude is coming through in your messages, and that's why you're not getting any results.

If you believe girls are all mean, then they're going to feel that stand-offish vibe you have, and they're not even going to want the conversation to go anywhere, they're just going to want you to leave ASAP because they've met hundreds of guys like you before and it never goes well.

You will never get a woman if you have a negative attitude towards women like that. It's the same principle as with money. No person who thinks money is evil will ever become wealthy, because whatever they decide consciously to do to pursue wealth, they'll still subconsciously be doing whatever they can to ensure they never become wealthy, because they never want to be "evil". So, if you subconsciously hold negative emotions towards women, guess what: you're constantly subconsciously sabotaging all of your efforts with women.

Until you change the attitude, expect to have no results with any women, no matter how nice they are.

If you spend time on any of those toxic places like /r/incels/, stop. No-one in any of those forums is getting within a fucking mile of getting in a relationship during their lifetimes with the attitudes they have there. No woman (and no man either) wants to be in a relationship with someone with a toxic attitude.

If everywhere you go smells like shit, maybe it's time to check your shoes.

Change your attitude. Start having a more positive attitude to women.

Start working on yourself: Ensure your hygiene is always on point, be clean shaven or keep a nice well trimmed beard, dress your best at all times, be polite but don't kiss ass, find a purpose and meaning to your life, work hard and chase success, get fit and healthy, meditate and keep your mind in working order, keep going with NoFap, keep approaching and interacting with women.

Do all that and you'll be able to lose the "I'm a kiss less, hand hold less virgin." line in your signature in no time.

PS I suggest reading the book Models by Mark Manson, it'll help you.

 

From a quick google search, I found the quote is from nonother than AL 'NO SHOES' BUNDY. I don't know how accurate my source is but I'm sticking with AL till proven otherwise.

^ At the guy who posted above me. Why does he need to stick out above the 90% to get a woman? And why can't people who go to incel forums get women? Not saying you're wrong it's just odd. Some pretty hideous women can hook up with guys and feminists [ which I'll take a guess is a lot more toxic than incel dogma] hook up with guys. If there was a 1/10 ratio that would make sense but they are the majority. For every single guy there are more single women. As well guys don't actually need women. Women although no longer due to modernization needed men to survive. If you can control your sex drive [ which you clearly can't because you are here] and if you don't want children, why would any guy want to hook up with the modern western woman?