FYI: Quitting porn but still masterbating is not a reboot

Will you consider a 90 days hard mode? Just try it and see?

 

Thanks for sharing.

I have a pretty similar history. Drug abuse and addiction. Mostly just weed, but it got to the point where I was smoking alone daily at my apt or in my car. That's just taking it way too far. Don't get me wrong though, I don't think weed is a terrible drug or something that can't be enjoyed in moderation. But for me, I clearly just wasn't able to show restraint in that area. For PMO, it's much the same. I have a history of about 8-10 years of addiction to daily PMO. And I wasn't edging. I was getting to O as fast as possible and getting to the next round ASAP. There were some periods of time where I was dating someone where I would abstain from P for a few weeks or months, but only bc I was getting sex. Once that got boring, I would return right back to it and destroy the relationship.

For so many years, I always thought something was wrong with each woman I dated. Either they didn't look like my porn star girlfriends online or they weren't smart enough, or didn't compliment me enough. Everything was always about me and getting what I wanted. I would inevitably end those relationships and just move on to the next one all to end up in the exact same spot a few months/years later. At age 31, I realized the problem was me and my addiction to PMO. That addiction created most of the chaos in my life that I experienced all throughout my 20s. I had unrealistic expectations of what a relationship was supposed to be and when those expectations weren't met, I unraveled unto depression, drug addiction, and isolation. All because of an addiction to PMO.

In 2016, I first started trying to break free from this addiction and was able to shift my addiction from a daily one into more of a weekly one. Great victory. But it has taken over a year to actually find true long term freedom in this area. Now at only 50 days of freedom, I can say with certainty that I wish that upon no one and I will never go back. I over-indulged. I selfishly ruined something meant to be shared and beautiful and now I must heal first before being able to enjoy it again. Shared. As it's meant to be.